Putting Off Therapy

[Melody coates]

I don't know if it's because I'm in denial about my symptoms or if I'm just procrastinating. I guess it could be a little bit of both? I had my mental assessment back in September and my symptoms have gotten worse. I keep telling myself "you're f*cking homeless! it's just normal stress. it'll pass". they started before I left home and ended up in this situation. they just weren't as frequent or severe so I just sorta brushed it off. I mean everyone has nightmares occasionally. honestly, id rather be in an emergency shelter than where I was before! hands down. I'm not abused or mistreated here. I have an amazing case manager who cares deeply about me especially since she knows my situation. I guess I need someone to tell me that I really should stop putting therapy off because regardless of the cause of my symptoms, they are still a problem. and it's hilarious when people say "put the past behind you and move on. that shit happened years ago." that's just the problem! the more I run from my demons the more issues I have. I been here for over a year and have not made a single female friend. I have regular contact with only one family member and that's a sibling. but im gonna stop ranting before I end up an emotional wreck! lol

 

[shimmerz]

Homeless is not 'normal' stress. It is well beyond normal. I know. Been there done that. I am happy to hear that you are safe and that your case worker and you have a good working relationship. When I was homeless I was a freaking mess. I can't help but see the last line of your posting.

but im gonna stop ranting before I end up an emotional wreck! lol

The lol doesn't actually cancel out what you are saying here. I am going to venture a guess that you may be putting therapy off because you are overwhelmed and maybe feel that once you start talking about it a pandora's box may feel like it is opening.

I have to say this with the utmost respect and admiration for keeping it together in your situation. Pandora's box is already open imho and best to learn how to manage it because based on what you are saying your symptoms are, it is managing you right now. Your symptoms are trying to tell you something.

 

[Namenotdiagnosis]

I think your amazing for trying so hard to be honest with yourself. You can't just get over it or the phrase it happened years ago therefore move on! Coz one day it will come back to haunt you if not dealt with. These are suppressed emotions that need to be brought out in the open and coping strategys , therapy and good level of support is required to help you deal with these .
It's good to rant and rave too because your issues or problems are important to you so don't feel guilty. Establishing new friendships is difficult , I for one find it very difficult , I'm scared that I might flasback in front of them then I have to explain to them and I think they may think I'm weird ! Or I should just get over it!!! I have tried to move on but I wouldn't have been able to do it without solid therapy as hurtfu, Ugly and emotional as I found it is has helped me slowly try to accept that the abuse wasn't my fault. It's not easy and it doesn't work overnight and requires hard committed work, but you will find It may help , also you will recieve excellant support on this forum , I know I did. Good luck in your journey, and whatever descision you make I hope it helps. In my prayers.

 

[afuneralinmybrain]

I've lived in shelters before. It's f*cking stressful. But you have PTSD. It's going to be harder for people with PTSD. I'd advise taking small steps to get yourself into therapy. I used to hate opening up and talking about stuff. Still do, sometimes. It's like cutting your heart out in front of someone. But it really does need to be done sometimes. Ugh, I'm sorry. Yeah, you can't just "get over" things. It's complicated. That's why we here have PTSD.
Do you have insurance? Talk to your insurance company if you have one and ask about therapists that take your coverage.

 

[darrenS]

As others have said , homelessness is a severe stress. Not having your own space , living day to day without the ability to plan properly , its a killer. Take it easy on yourself and set simple goals that are doable , under the stress you are under , you will react in a variety of ways , and you just have to try and keep yourself in one piece and most importantly be kind to you - the fact your in such a situation and am still seeking treatment and trying to deal with issues , is a testament to your strength. Seriously pat yourself on the back - if your doing these steps now under the current circumstances , you will get better and life will improve - it will just take time - hang in there

 

[Rumors]

Just wondering, but are you homeless because you left, they kicked you out, or what? How do you post on the Internet homeless? IF you have the means to find someplace safe, you should. Take care!!!

 

[Melody coates]

@Rumors I walk to the library and there is wifi in some places here. and I wasn't kick out, I left

 

[shell]

I am glad you are not being abused anymore, and made the decision to leave, it was a very brave decision. I can't even imagine what it would be like to be homeless, and I am sorry you don't feel in a position to start therapy.

Therapy doesn't just have to be about your past, and they usually won't go into your past unless your life is stable. The best changes I have made in my life have come from working in the present, to fix those things that were making my life right now more stressful that it needed to be. A good therapist can help you make positive changes in your life right now, to support you to get back on your feet to find somewhere safe to life, until you are ready to process your trauma. I hope your situation changes for the better soon.