Day Of The Dog

[desiderata310]

OH HOLY... It's been a difficult day.
Started with a actually, quiet and easy therapy session but that's another post...
We had plans to meet with the dog adoption lady, the dog trainer and my therapist at noon. We were both abuzz about that ESPECIALLY since the plan was that if the dog 'felt' right that I was to foster him for a week and then move to adopt if things continued to work right. My therapist teared up talking about it. I was all nerves.

I went to work did a few things and then headed to my house where we all agreed to meet since it was 'safe' to me. The dog came in and since I have a cat, was first introduced to him. The first shot was ok, but they weren't satified. The put a muzzle on the dog for saftey and wanted to see them interact again. Next thing, the dog had my cat backed into a corner and wasn't backing off.

So.. yeah I was pretty triggered. Then we brought in my therapist's dog to interact since it is very likely that the two will work in sort of tandem in therapy with me. Everything seemed ok at first and then it wasn't. The new dog growling and barking and snapping. It was a complete failure for service work.

I honestly had been pretty triggered throughout the process. From the dog's incessant pacing, and watchfulness, the dog next door barking, the noise from outside of unexpected people coming and going, I was on high alert. I am not sure what happened but I was dissociating pretty badly, I somehow managed to get outside in the process of a really bad panic attack. I know that my therapist eventually came out and found me with his dog who helped me get sort of grounded and back. My therapist had to leave because he had another appointment but told me that the overriding decision was that this was NOT the dog for me.

The rest of the day was spent dealing with lots of crying, flashback, dissociating, and just feeling like I'd been hit like a mac truck.

When my therapist checked in later I said I wasn't sure if I wanted to continue with the dog. His response was "I'm only MORE encouraged about the idea after today"

Damn I never expected this to be so.. painful.

 

[Justmehere]

Whoa...

slight rant ahead...

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I went through a dog selection process, at a humane shelter no less, to find a dog with the right procurement to train my own dog for service dog work and it was tough at a few times but nothing like this. If I would have had to go through what you went through today, I would have been massively triggered. It's NOT how it is supposed to go at all.

They should have known in advance how this dog was with cats and other dogs. They should have temperament tested the dog. Muzzling a dog that has not been regularly muzzled is a great way to make a non-aggressive dog suddenly act with aggression. If they had previous reason to muzzle the dog... well then wtf? Dog-cat introductions go best when the cat is in a cage or kennel and then the dog roams freely. A good dog behaviorist or trainer can tell pretty quick how much the dog will freak out with a loose cat pretty quick. Cat is safe, and there are no restraints on the dog to screw up the introduction. But a cat that is free? And a new dog that they then muzzle...? oh my goodness. To then take an already revved up dog with it's predator drive in high gear, and introduce another dog is a really bad idea. It is my guess they introduced the dogs while they were on leashes, and if those leashes were tight... A service dog has to be good with most dogs, not just one specific dog. They should have been checking to see how the dog is with other dogs in general anyhow.

They are also incorrect to think a dog can be evaluated for service dog work in a week's time. That is just wrong. It takes time to pick a dog that is a right dog for a trial time of training to further evaluated if they will eventually be good for eventual service dog work, and that trial time period is much longer than a week.

This makes me mad, absolutely mad. It seems like your therapist has a good idea of a evaluating the possibility of a service dog, but that none of the professionals in this situation really understand what it takes to evaluate a possible foster dog for service dog work or how to even do safe cat-dog introductions. Part of the process involves evaluating how YOU are doing with it all too. If the way it is going is triggering you, then it's time to change the way they are going about it, not just trudge forward. I'm trying to give the trainer the benefit of the doubt, but yikes.

Ok, I will get off my soap box now.
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In a nutshell, I can see why you were triggered and I'm sorry for the disaster that happened. There are ways to prevent it all from happening again. It's probably neither here nor there right now. I'm really glad that you were able to connect with your therapist's dog and that doing so helped you feel grounded. That is probably one reason why your therapist wants to still look into finding the dog that is better fit for you and for service dog work - but still, it sucks that he didn't fully connect with how upsetting this was for you and that all of this happened the way that it did.

 

[Suzetig]

That all sounds awful and I know you've been really hopeful about a service dog. I hope you're able to get some rest and then see how you feel about it - it would be a shame if it didn't work out for you.

 

[scout86]

Wow!

I don't know much about service dogs, but what @Justmehere said covers everything I was thinking and more.

I know you've had concerns about both of the people on the dog end of this. A couple of weeks ago, when I thought there had been a problem and there was, my T said, "Your radar is working just fine." Yours apparently is too! The dog idea still sounds good. Maybe different "dog people"? (BTW, you had a good idea in having your T participate too.)

 

[desiderata310]

ok... thanks. really. @scout86 I kinda felt like maybe it had not made much sense to get so triggered. First there were a lot of people there. The dog lady was in rare form, the trainer lady was really loud and forceful and the aquaintance that had hooked me up with her was there as well and HE wouldn't shut up. There was just already a lot for me to be tweaked about because it was noisy. What kills me about all of this was that both the aquaintance and the trainer were both sufferers. Seems my PTSD was on super high alert and theirs was taking the day off!

@Justmehere Whew... yeah.. well, the dog supposedly HAD been checked for those things. It had been living around other dogs without problems for a while and when she first started fostering she had checked the dog with a cat to see how it went. The dog was accustomed to being muzzled. It SHOUDN'T have gone down like that. The dogs were introduced on leashes but they were loose. They had a chance to wander the room and ignore eachother and come back and when they came back things got ugly.

The dog lady had kept telling me her credentials: that she had all this background in training dogs, that she had done extensive research in what service dogs needed to be and she just felt CONFIDENT that she had found THE DOG for me. She was shocked and left having learned a great deal about what the dog COULDN'T be.

If it had not been for my therapist's dog I probably wouldn't have made it back inside my own house. WOW... just thinking about yesterday has my heart rate up.

My therapist said that he had some really good ideas of how to make these meetings flow better next time (he had been keeping an eye on me- which is the reason I was able to get outside and have the panic attack instead of staying in the corner of my room and contiuing to panic and dissociate and wind up in a flashback in front of all those people) and I think, at least right now, that he's more excited about this than I am. I just feel the horrible need to hide away from the world still. It was pretty intense for me.

There was talk about us (me and the trainer) meeting the dog lady at a festival next weekend to meet yet another dog. Right now, I can't think of a worse thing for me. I will be on high alert because of all the people and other dogs (it's a dog festival) and they want me to meet someplace PUBLIC??!! Without my therapist in this case??!! NOPE! NOPE NOPE! I am calling bullshit on that one. Recipie for disaster: desiderata in a public place with too much stumuli and a possibly aggressive dog. I think I will pass. My therapist wanted me to let the dust settle before I make a decision about that one.

I'm not sure I want to move forward with a service dog at ALL right now.

 

[scout86]

Recipie for disaster: desiderata in a public place with too much stumuli and a possibly aggressive dog. I think I will pass.

I would pass too! Sounds like it might make a good plot for a movie though. (I can see it as either a comedy or a horror flick!)

I'm not sure I want to move forward with a service dog at ALL right now.

Understandable! The dog still sounds like a good idea. The people? That might be another deal.

I think you have the right idea though. "A controlled environment" as much as possible. Your T has never been through this process with a client has he? Or has he? He might be feeling his way a bit too, but he sounds like he's trying.

 

[desiderata310]

no, My therapist has never been through this process. He''s never had anyone who would have used a service dog. Yay me, for having the "worst case" he's ever seen. UGH!

He's certainly feeling his was through. I know that he was listening to the conversations picking up nuggets of information on how all this works but I was completely tuned out to them. Acutally, as I think about it, I am pretty sure I was almost completely dissocated most of the meeting.

A plot for a comedy or horror flick? hehe... yeah, that's a pretty apt description either way. Pretty sure it would depend on your point of view in that case.

OY! I need a break from my brain! Seriously! Rough night last night and woke up still triggered this morning.
Maybe I can get a run in, if I can stand the idea of being out on the roads.

 

[Kefira]

The dog still sounds like a good idea. The people? That might be another deal.

I have to agree. So much wrong with how this was handled.

But I also want to say that if you want to hold off for a while, find other people or pursue other options that's your choice. This is for you, and what's best for you is what needs to be happening. Working through things that are tough is fine, but if you need to adjust how this is going to proceed then that's different.

Your T works for you, not the other way around.

 

[desiderata310]

I know he works for me. We are both bumbling our way through this.

He said what he did to encourage me. I know that too. The service dog was his idea in the first place. I've adopted it with QUITE a bit of hesitation. Yesterday's expereince makes me want to run and hide. I'm actually very grateful that he came over with his dog after all that craziness happened and let me pet him for a few minutes. It was a gentle reminder of what a dog COULD do for me.

I DO NOT want to go to the festival. Not today, not tomorrow, not next week!! When the dog lady suggested it, I was very non-committal to the point that the dog lady was just completely floored. Actually what I was was something along the lines of "I haven't thought about not going". I was-by the way- still REALLY triggered when we had that conversation.

NOPE NOPE NOPE. No festival to meet a dog. Not gonna happen. NOPE. Just can't do that.

 

[FindingMyself88]

I second @Justmehere 110%. Just because the dog was okay with foster dogs doesn't mean it would be okay with strange dogs. Bristol was fine with our dogs but we found out too late her issue with other dogs. Not her fault, they used shock collars on her... alas- a story for a different time.

I also agree that fostering for a week is not enough time. A dog needs at least 2-4 weeks to adjust and show their true personality. I fostered Bristol for 2 weeks and really should've done more. She turned out great for task, but working on other stuff. There is a chance she will end up only being an "at home" SD.

I would've been incredibly triggered too! I definitely think the dog needs to be introduced to several STRANGE dogs and cats before being brought into your home with strange animals. There are also plenty of tests your trainer could do to test the dog's dependability and stability.

Do not give up. You are not just trying to find a pet- you are trying to find a partner. I fostered a GSD for a few days and while I LOVED her, she ended up not being right. She became protective of me very quickly. It broke my heart to give her up- but it was the right thing to do. This is THE hardest part of the process. Once you get through it, things will get easier (though not perfect). Listen to your gut too. The bond with the dog is just as important as temperament- especially for psychiatric SDs.

The hardest thing for me was not to hold my fears from the GSD against Bristol, if that makes sense? If I got another dog, my fears about dog reactivity would be hard to work through. Try to meet the next dog with an open mind. There IS the right dog out there, you just have to find it!

 

[FindingMyself88]

Also, I don't know if you are looking at specific breeds. For me, my next dog will probably have longer hair as I like the texture. However, I know a LOT of people have had tremendous success with adopting Greyhounds that have retired off the track. These dogs are normally really young, anywhere from 1-3 years so plenty of time to train. They have at least a basic foundation of obedience, are comfortable around other dogs. Despite racing, Greyhounds can be pretty laid back. They also have had lots of exposure to public and chaos.

Just a thought.. There are normally lots of rescues all over the country for Greyhounds too.

 

[desiderata310]

@FindingMyself88 THAT was what I was working with. turns out you have to deal with prey drive which is pretty effing high on these guys.