Hi I'm currently again dating this beautiful woman (let's call her Ann) who has been thru a lot and I mean a lot. My heart is set not to give up but she isn't makin it easy on me..so here is alittle about it.
She has been married and divorced 5xs every relationship has taken a toll on her from a cheating lying verbal abusive, to being beaten near death which she put him in prison, losing her girls, now to her present (last) to be ex husband (who was still
Married when they started talking 3-4yrs ago without her knowing) who was very verbally abusive to her kids as well as her and lying and cheating as well as leaving her several times for his (not yet ex) wife and Ann still stayed with him. I am guilty as well 7-8 yrs ago we dated and we had a very insecure relationship, (she was not diagnosed with PTSD at the time) I never cheated but accused many times, she however did cheat on me, but during an heated argument she accused me of cheating and it got ugly screaming and saying very hurtful things to each other, she went to leave and I kicked her in the butt as she walked out the door..I was so wrong in doing this, VERY wrong I have to live with this mistake for rest of my life. She did not presses charges against me but she didn't put a CPO on me. We still seen each other and secretly were still involved. Since then I have struggled with what I did, to the point where I tried to hurt myself and committed myself to a psychiatric hospitalization I also went to counseling for almost 1 1/2 yrs as well as anger management and group therapy which I ended up helping many others with anger issues similar to mine. I then met someone else who i was with for 4 yrs she and I didn't last , she lied and cheated on me and eventually jus left me. I came across Ann again and we started talkin and she is now going thru divorce which cost her custody of her son. We have talked for so many hours about things and I have done my best to make mends with her. So since Nov 2014 we have been seeing each other again. Since then we have had several PTSD episodes happen. I've been reading up in PTSD cuz I kno nothing about it. We have great weekends together and then as soon as she goes home returning shuts down where we don't talk much or if we do it's her taking about nothing works out for her, she has told me that we are "done" probably 4-5 times, she has verbally said things like "go back to her (my ex) have a nice life" or she tells me she feels I don't understand PTSD or anything about her for that matter, if I try to explain that I do she says "there you go trying to tell me how I feel".. She always "snaps" vents or "goes off" on me then apologizes later, hangs up on me then gets mad at me if I don't call back sending me text saying "thought you said u wouldn't give up on me? F%#¥ you" If I call back she won't answer so it's like I can't win.. About me : I've had my kids since 2002, my kids are my world, I no longer have any uncontrollable anger or outburst and still don't, I have built my patience up and I can handle what she dishes out cause apart of me knows I deserve it because of what I did several years back.
I need advice I can't put into words the chemistry she and I have and the kids absolutely love her to death. Ann treats my kids like they are her own. Recently she has had to meet up with her soon to b ex at attorneys office to get it started so she can try to get her son back. Ann and her to be ex have been separated for a yr this past Jan. She has told me that she and him apologized to each other and that he cried and she couldn't be angry at him. My worry is since she has a hard time letting go, is she talking to him "secretly" ? She says she will always be honest with me BUT if I don't ask she won't tell, if I ask she gets aggravated. She tells me "don't ask me anything you really don't wanna know".. Since 3 days ago we barely talk throughout the day, or evening if I ask if everything is ok she gets irritated with me so I apologies and stop talking about it. I don't know what to do but I don't wanna give up on Her but I don't think I'm the only one she leans on, but she does tell me a lot. I've noticed if she does something "sketchy" or something that would throw a red flag she turns it on me, if I do something sketchy she immediately goes into the insecure mode and if I tell her she shouldn't feel that I'm lying she says " I should if keep my feelings to myself" and says it's all her fault and that she is sorry. Now if I do something without letting her know she thinks I'm hiding something, if she does it then she says I'm controlling or she doesn't want to "check in" with anyone...
Help I know it's a lot but I need direction!!!
Footnote; she went to counselling with her to be ex and talk to several pastors but now she can't afford counseling cause they never paid for counseling..help please what should or can I do!!
She has been married and divorced 5xs every relationship has taken a toll on her from a cheating lying verbal abusive, to being beaten near death which she put him in prison, losing her girls, now to her present (last) to be ex husband (who was still
Married when they started talking 3-4yrs ago without her knowing) who was very verbally abusive to her kids as well as her and lying and cheating as well as leaving her several times for his (not yet ex) wife and Ann still stayed with him. I am guilty as well 7-8 yrs ago we dated and we had a very insecure relationship, (she was not diagnosed with PTSD at the time) I never cheated but accused many times, she however did cheat on me, but during an heated argument she accused me of cheating and it got ugly screaming and saying very hurtful things to each other, she went to leave and I kicked her in the butt as she walked out the door..I was so wrong in doing this, VERY wrong I have to live with this mistake for rest of my life. She did not presses charges against me but she didn't put a CPO on me. We still seen each other and secretly were still involved. Since then I have struggled with what I did, to the point where I tried to hurt myself and committed myself to a psychiatric hospitalization I also went to counseling for almost 1 1/2 yrs as well as anger management and group therapy which I ended up helping many others with anger issues similar to mine. I then met someone else who i was with for 4 yrs she and I didn't last , she lied and cheated on me and eventually jus left me. I came across Ann again and we started talkin and she is now going thru divorce which cost her custody of her son. We have talked for so many hours about things and I have done my best to make mends with her. So since Nov 2014 we have been seeing each other again. Since then we have had several PTSD episodes happen. I've been reading up in PTSD cuz I kno nothing about it. We have great weekends together and then as soon as she goes home returning shuts down where we don't talk much or if we do it's her taking about nothing works out for her, she has told me that we are "done" probably 4-5 times, she has verbally said things like "go back to her (my ex) have a nice life" or she tells me she feels I don't understand PTSD or anything about her for that matter, if I try to explain that I do she says "there you go trying to tell me how I feel".. She always "snaps" vents or "goes off" on me then apologizes later, hangs up on me then gets mad at me if I don't call back sending me text saying "thought you said u wouldn't give up on me? F%#¥ you" If I call back she won't answer so it's like I can't win.. About me : I've had my kids since 2002, my kids are my world, I no longer have any uncontrollable anger or outburst and still don't, I have built my patience up and I can handle what she dishes out cause apart of me knows I deserve it because of what I did several years back.
I need advice I can't put into words the chemistry she and I have and the kids absolutely love her to death. Ann treats my kids like they are her own. Recently she has had to meet up with her soon to b ex at attorneys office to get it started so she can try to get her son back. Ann and her to be ex have been separated for a yr this past Jan. She has told me that she and him apologized to each other and that he cried and she couldn't be angry at him. My worry is since she has a hard time letting go, is she talking to him "secretly" ? She says she will always be honest with me BUT if I don't ask she won't tell, if I ask she gets aggravated. She tells me "don't ask me anything you really don't wanna know".. Since 3 days ago we barely talk throughout the day, or evening if I ask if everything is ok she gets irritated with me so I apologies and stop talking about it. I don't know what to do but I don't wanna give up on Her but I don't think I'm the only one she leans on, but she does tell me a lot. I've noticed if she does something "sketchy" or something that would throw a red flag she turns it on me, if I do something sketchy she immediately goes into the insecure mode and if I tell her she shouldn't feel that I'm lying she says " I should if keep my feelings to myself" and says it's all her fault and that she is sorry. Now if I do something without letting her know she thinks I'm hiding something, if she does it then she says I'm controlling or she doesn't want to "check in" with anyone...
Help I know it's a lot but I need direction!!!
Footnote; she went to counselling with her to be ex and talk to several pastors but now she can't afford counseling cause they never paid for counseling..help please what should or can I do!!
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