Survival Sex

[illusionist]

I can see the need to get yourself out of a situation that is causing you a lot of distress, I really can. The need for me to have warmth and food did override any logic in me....but maybe you do have a way out as suggested on here.....I bloody well hope you do.

 

[shimmerz]

Yes, I very much understand this. Please don't confuse the reason I am asking for discussion on these viewpoints mytai. I absolutely am not thinking you are callous. Not one bit. I get being frantic about finances and how devastating that can be. I am living that right now.

Sometimes when someone has been through a lot of pain they numb out - not to how it feels to others but how it might feel to themselves. I am concerned that you weren't addressing this part it might be because of that. I am glad you are speaking of it. Thank you.

 

[Ronin]

@mytai, let's look at this differently - what if sex work is entirely out of option (I'm seeing it isn't and whole this discussion's point is that it isn't) - but what are your other options of getting out of debt? You're obviously coming back to one that you're familiar with in some way, though I'm thinking there must be a variety of things that weren't considered or not deeply enough because they're not the same familiar, so what I'm interested in is what else have you considered so far?

 

[mytai]

@shimmerz I wasn't suggesting you thought I was callous, I see that in myself on occasion. I don't know if I'm numbing out around this or what.

 

[illusionist]

Mytai.......think of the most unattractive man you have ever met......now cuddle him, undress him...in your mind.....are you vomiting yet? ....wait til you get down to the nitty gritty.

That's the reality....an agency will only keep you on their books if you keep their clients happy. You may be able to turn down clients at the detriment to yourself.

 

[mytai]

so what I'm interested in is what else have you considered so far?

I've looked at debt consolidation, which isn't an option because I don't have collateral (I've called several local places and they've said they can't help). I have thought about filing for bankruptcy, however I have to weigh the possibility it may affect my ability to go to school. Asking a family member to help until I can pay them back is not an option a) because my family doesn't have money to even help with my smallest debt that would make the larger one manageable, and b) I don't have much of a relationship with my family anymore because I need to protect myself from their drama in my life. Getting a line of credit with a lower interest rate than what I had on my credit cards isn't possible because my credit rating is too low now (I should have got one when I had perfect credit in case of potential emergencies). Applying for disability, it takes months to get a response, often here the first response is no (except in rare cases) and always has to be appealed which takes another few months. I've looked into local agencies that help with people in financial crisis but I don't fit the criteria (I called and spoke to see if they knew of other avenues that I hadn't found).

@Kaia my options are continue to try to apply for disability, file for bankruptcy, or this negative option.

 

[Deleted member 28986]

my only two left that I'm aware of are filing for bankruptcy and applying for disability

Both of those sound good.

A lot of people think student loans are overrated, myself included. However, if you want to go that route, get the loan, THEN file for bankruptcy. Simple as that.

Feel free to look into all your options. But in the US, debt consolidation is usually just a glorified savings account. It's not so great.

If you believe you're physically able to perform escort work, there are other jobs you could perform too. Does anything else to mind?

 

[mytai]

A lot of people think student loans are overrated, myself included. However, if you want to go that route, get the loan, THEN file for bankruptcy. Simple as that.

I never took out a loan the first time I went to school, but it cost significantly less at that time. Different degree, different level of education, huge cost difference. The only problem with applying for the loan then filing for bankruptcy is that you only get the loan a semester at a time, and then you are disqualified because of filing and you have to attempt to file an appeal. I don't want to put myself further into debt without knowing that I can finish school to dig myself out.

Already looked into debt consolidation but it isn't an option. I do currently work full time but it doesn't pay enough to get out of this, especially when I go back to school. Even when I got hired at this job I never stopped applying and looking for higher income work. I've either not heard back, or have been told I don't have the qualifications they are looking for.

 

[Deleted member 28986]

@mytai, that makes sense. Sorry my idea wouldn't have worked in the real world.

I know that more education might open some doors for job opportunities, but I'll bet you can get a well-paying job without further education. It might require thinking outside the box, but there's stuff out there.

What do you think would happen if you simply ceased contact with some or all of your debtors? In the US, the debts would effectively be erased in less than a decade.

 

[mytai]

@The One Who Knocks jobs are limited where I am without a university degree, I've spent two years looking for decent paying work, the one job I found that gave me a chance let me go because I ruined their reputation by being assaulted on the job.

Well, considering I hadn't had any contact with the car loan company and I went to buy groceries today and found my bank account empty because they withdrew all my money, it won't go well. Where I live they can garnish your wages if you ignore it too long without working out a pay back plan with them, and keeping in constant contact. The debt just doesn't disappear or go away until I can deal with it unfortunately. The problem with them garnishing your wages is that you have no control over how much or when it happens, so it may stop me from buying food, or paying rent.

 

[Deleted member 28986]

@mytai, that's outrageous. I can't believe they can garnish your wages and bank account for a private debt. Maybe this discussion is out of my league.

let me go because I ruined their reputation by being assaulted on the job

I'm already learning how little I know about Canadian law, so I'm ducking out now, but, ummmmmm, wrongful termination, anyone? That's a lawsuit in the US.

 

[mytai]

wrongful termination, anyone? That's a lawsuit in the US.

It would be in Canada too... if I wasn't a contractor. Contractors have no protection by employment laws unfortunately. It's a risk you take for good paying work. A lot of companies only hire contractors now because they can fire whenever and for whatever reason they want. I could potentially still sue based on the specific reason, but that would cost more money.