Language Of Processing Trauma

[sun seeker]

I noticed something while writing in my trauma diary, and since this is an international forum, thought I'd bring it up and see if anyone has any thoughts on this.

Some of my trauma did not occur in English, even though English is my first language. Of course the trauma itself is separate from language, but what I mean is the things people said to me, the thoughts I was thinking at and around the time, just the general environment for a chunk of my teenage and young adult life, happened in Spanish. While writing about some of these incidents, I felt like something was missing in translation. Writing them in English felt a step removed from the trauma, and as though I'll need to do it over again offline to access what it felt like better.

There are a lot of people here for whom English is a second language. Have you noticed the same thing?

I know (from Grey's Anatomy) that if a person speaks multiple languages, each is stored in a different part of the brain. I'm not making the connection yet with how this applies to how trauma is stored. Any insights on this?

 

[garden]

Very interesting topic. Hmmmmm...

English is not my first language. I was abused in a foreign language as well, and when I have nightmares about my abuse, I dream that language, not English. So my dreams are in English except for some of the very vivid and real nighmares.

I do not read or write in the language that I was abused in, but I speak it fluently. I journal about my traumas in English.

Is Spanish the language that you are most fluent in?

 

[sun seeker]

Is Spanish the language that you are most fluent in?

No, but it felt like it would flow better for processing what happened in Spanish. The hesitation over what words to use in translating things people said took me away from the flow of writing what happened, was part of it.

Thank you for sharing your experience @Lewa.

 

[scout86]

I think I remember someone else mentioning this. I THINK it was @Trauma . Her first language is Norwegian and, if I remember right, she mentioned that it's easier to talk about some things in English.

Have you thought about doing some of your trauma diary in Spanish? I'll bet there are a fair number of people here who would be able to read it in Spanish too.

 

[sun seeker]

she mentioned that it's easier to talk about some things in English

It sounds like that might be a step, or one level removed so it's possible to look at it from a distance - not that I can speak for her.

Have you thought about doing some of your trauma diary in Spanish?

Is that allowed? I can see how it could open a can of worms. I'll probably just do some of it over offline. Thanks @scout86.

 

[garden]

The hesitation over what words to use in translating things people said took me away from the flow of writing what happened, was part of it.

Maybe do what @scout86 said, and write those portions in spanish, so that your mind does not have to deal with the task of translating, and instead the words will flow. It sounds like translating had the affect of interuppting your processessing, it somehow took attention away from the experience you were writing about, and placed that attention on the words themselves, in a technical way...

 

[sun seeker]

It sounds like translating had the affect of interuppting your processessing, it somehow took attention away from the experience you were writing about, and placed that attention on the words themselves, in a technical way...

Yes, that's about it. Or I could write those parts in Spanish to get them out, and then go back and translate once I'm done so everyone can read it. Thanks!

 

[Anarchy]

Further to what @scout86 wrote, IIRC, @Trauma found some dialects of Norwegian, more triggering than others, and found that she could communicate words in english where the Norwegian equivalent would have been a no go area.

Hopefully she'll join in with her experience and thoughts, rather than my rusty and possibly inaccurate memory of what she wrote.

 

[Ronin]

Lots of thoughts on this - I think I mentioned it somewhere, some languages are just very no-go zone for me because associated memory lanes are just all too overwhelming (move over Arabic, despite how many words of it my mother tongue has as loan words!), languages I most process in are English and Spanish (relevant to trauma but honestly I think more about simply being me, English was spoken around growing up, Spanish I've mostly looked for), some I have no relation to, trauma or non-trauma, they don't click with me on an emotional level all too well (hi German).

I'm honestly thinking it's more a developmental thing, what language one inclined to at the age of their trauma and how deep that influenced a person, but I don't know of research on this specifically. (Good idea to dig though!)

I'd write in what feels closest, for a while not bothering with translation (I mean, don't know about you, but when I'm processing trauma in different languages than English in which I name things and such the most, I'm busy already switching between trauma vs. safe, to yet be worried about languages or properness of them = cluster that can wait.)

 

[Born to Run]

I am from Holland and lived from my 2-5th year in the US. The language at home was Dutch, if they even bothered to speak to me, but the language in kindergarten was English. Up till today I have kept a preference for English, also because it is such a more efficient language than Dutch and German. The latter use so much more words to describe something, a book translated from English to Dutch/German turns in general out to be 1.5 as thick as the English version. That aside, my mother has abused me using the Dutch language only. My therapy here in Switzerland is in English, as I do not speak German as well as English, and actually I love it. I never have the idea something is left out. Sometimes when I really need to curse over my mother I do so in Dutch. German is close, so my therapist gets it or I translate it. If I write at home I also do it in English.
It is rather the opposite from your experience, sorry ;)

I think it is a great idea what someone suggested to write in Spanish. Follow your instincts.

 

[Anarchy]

@Kaia,
If you don't mind me asking / guessing?

Somali? Swahili? ??????

@

 

[Ronin]

Yep @Anarchy, Swahili.