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Creating Parts

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I have had migraines for over 25 years and I think that is my body's way of avoiding all the hurt that I have taken on. Feeling panic daily and not sure what to say, who to talk to, how to move through/past it.
Brilliant Dr and Author Gabor Mate. "When the Body Says No." Internalized trauma impact. Democracy Now! has interviewed him several times and past show online are searchable.
 
In regards to emotions and suppressing, it wasn't as much a what emotion goes, more what of it stays (childhood? I learned very quickly hot anger would get others in big trouble and me out of the game. Cold anger on another hand? Totally was doable. Later the life, it was possibility of expressing cold anger in ways more heated one would be expressed. Aaction? Brilliant, I can put that anger into something, let's not focus there is also something else beyond anger & numb, like grief. So the gradual switch was healthier. Still avoided so many of subtler & finer feelings, I had 0 frames of reference for them.)

These days struggles, still more to do with emotional placement and 'shades' of emotion. I'm really trying to learn when to feel things and when to express them, still rather close to saying eff it, let's move back to somewhere I can be the old me... nawh, don't do that, dear people'd disapprove and you'd hate your sliding :facepalm::banghead: Not sure how to help, a different journey. Thought to throw it out there though, in case anyone could relate to shades of emotions and having difficulty with everything but anger.
 
Grows well in a whole pile of shit.....
From a good core, and yeah takes balance. Does not have to be a fancy hot house flower, the best found in nature. I don't want to be no hybrid fussy stuck in a pot and rely on anyone else to tend.

If you were a flower what flower would you be? :);):poop::hug::cry: all in a season.
 
Thanks @shimmerz. That makes sense. I actually finally understand why I have DID and not some other form of dissociation, being that I was traumatised pretty much from birth. I didn't realise that we begin unintegrated. Explains a lot.
 
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