Sufferer I've Been In Denial

[liv now]

Hello. I have not been here for a very long time. To be totally honest I have been in denial for years about my (complex) PTSD. I fought my therapist for many years and anyone else who told me that whilst I may become very good at dealing with triggers and the amount of time I'm triggered for would probably reduce with effective support and therapy; I would probably never overcome my ptsd and would always experience triggering to some degree. After years of fighting this and trying to prove everyone wrong I have finally come to accept myself and work with my ptsd rather than against it. Over the past couple of months a lot of things have come to a head in my life - I have to move house after 10 years of stability, my job of 20 plus years is just too difficult to keep anymore as it keeps me in a state ofhypervigalence, I'm perimenopausal, and I spend all my spare time hiding away in nature trying to recharge. I have good friend, but have become recluse as I just cant deal with other people. Last Friday I finally admitted out loud to myself, my life coach, and best friend that I have Complex ptsd and that I am never going to be able to have the job or career I want...as it is just too triggering and it is unhealthy pursuing this dream anymore. I need to focus on what I am good at and the gifts ptsd has given me...since then I have felt a little sad ...but at peace too. It is so nice not pretending to be someone I'm not anymore. I am also craving contact with people who understand ptsd. I've found it lonely in a world of people around me who dont understand my change in demeanor when I'm triggered....

 

[liv now]

Think this thread is in wrong section . Sorry

 

[Tanishq]

liv now, you can request mods to get this thread move. Click on report and ask them to move in right section. :)

Welcome back, sounds you registered very long ago.

About your issues, it's not bad to have ptsd. Sure it is life threatening, but accepting what one has does help.

 

[liv now]

Hi What's mods? I don't know where to ask it to be moved to.

 

[Tanishq]

Oh sorry. Mods means moderators.

1st way: Do you see bell like button? That is for reporting the post. A pop up window will come and there you can request to move this thread.

2nd way: Post a thread in help desk section to get this thread moved. https://www.myptsd.com/forums/help-desk-feedback.28/

Hope this helps you liv now. :)

 

[sweetcandy]

Its very hard to accept ptsd. It helps a lot to work with it rather than against it. I'm only just discovering this myself. I also denied it for so long. Its difficult to explain ptsd to others who don't have it and the changes in demeanor when triggered, they just don't seem to fully understand. It does help alot to accept ptsd though.

 

[liv now]

No bells I can see:tdown:...Will try your second option. Everything looks so different ....thanks for your help

 

[Tanishq]

liv now, no worries then. 2nd option will work out definitely. I assure you. Saw your thread in there help desk. :tup:

 

[liv now]

Hi sweetcandy. Thanks for your reply. Yes it is hard for my family and friends to understand....they try...but they can only look at it through the lenses of their own experiences....which don't include ptsd. I really would love to find a way to get my work colleagues to understand...but I'm just not sure that would be a safe option for me. I'm concerned I would be discriminated against.

 

[Tanishq]

Yes, makes sense to me. Those who have not experienced this PTSD may not understand.

Have you tried to get diagnosis in past? Can you see any counselor or therapist?

 

[Friday]

Yeah, I "had" a perky little case back when... I'm fine now... So I maintained for a good long time. Latest tailspin meant I needed to reevaluate that particular set of ideas. Took me a year of serious screwing up, and a year of unrelated (totally related) counseling to grit my teeth and admit fine, I'm not fine. Damn glad I did. Although it's still a helluva trek.

 

[liv now]

I had intensive therapy for 9 years....stopped 18 months ago as I thought I was too reliant on it...I wanted to develop more natural networks ....which I have done.....and the break has really forced me to put into practice all I learnt whilst in therapy...so has been good for me. I'm not sure whether I want to go down therapy track again....only because I don't really have anything to work on...I Just need to be understood.... I have a good life coach/peer support Who also has ptsd...I see her twice a month...