I'm fascinated by this...and how the lack of seems to possibly connect to some of my stuff (particularly inability to connect with others or have good feelings through human connection, but also my pain stuff). So of course I just want a pill to fix it! :wacky:
It's hard for me to even enjoy contact with my pets (poor guys...helps that they are very good friends and make up for my lack, but I do snuggle and pet often, just only for seconds throughout the day). Humans....goodness....I feel very detached but it's hard to work on because it's like I don't even have the muscles for it. I loath eye contact and I feel a bubble around myself when around others. I don't know how far I can "improve" in this area and I'm not sure what helps (I can't tolerate massage...but am okay with light directive touch, such as in Pilates classes, so maybe that counts for something).
I have complex trauma, across life, but we seem to be at the level of very early trauma in therapy....frozen states and lots of detachment/attachment stuff. I don't know how much can be fixed. I was a sick fetus, sick baby, stayed in the hospital for a long time, and my mom was not very well (her own trauma history that she didn't want to deal with = stressed, cold, detached and I know later raging-terrorizing-abusive...I suspect dissociated in these times because of how her eyes were), and I was hospitalized again in later childhood...in a clinic far away from my family for special PICU services. And I never felt safe around my mom anyway, so anybody could have just adopted me at the hospital and it would have probably made little difference to me at the time...my warm fuzzy feelings never really developed. My best memories from childhood were moments when I was all by myself.
If I'm somehow deficient in oxytocin can I make up for it? Has anyone taken it as a medication and does it help...or does it only help short term? I read that it could help with connections with people you already know, but also increase defenses towards strangers. I also don't know if my GP could prescribe or if I'd need a psychiatrist (yucky experiences with them). All the basic meds have not worked well at all for me (SSRIs, SNRIs, NRIs, my doc won't give me benzos :meh:, some anti-psychotic I don't remember). I'm interested in less traditional meds, and even any experience with meds that help in connection to really early trauma, disconnection and addiction stuff. I'm also interested in naltrexone. Gabapentin is a little helpful for pain and also feeling more relaxed and a tiny bit able to connect.
Ideally, I'd like no meds...but if there is something in my brain that could benefit from the right nudge and help me connect better, I'd try it. I say that even though I hate meds. My level of detachment is just pretty deep and lifelong.
It's hard for me to even enjoy contact with my pets (poor guys...helps that they are very good friends and make up for my lack, but I do snuggle and pet often, just only for seconds throughout the day). Humans....goodness....I feel very detached but it's hard to work on because it's like I don't even have the muscles for it. I loath eye contact and I feel a bubble around myself when around others. I don't know how far I can "improve" in this area and I'm not sure what helps (I can't tolerate massage...but am okay with light directive touch, such as in Pilates classes, so maybe that counts for something).
I have complex trauma, across life, but we seem to be at the level of very early trauma in therapy....frozen states and lots of detachment/attachment stuff. I don't know how much can be fixed. I was a sick fetus, sick baby, stayed in the hospital for a long time, and my mom was not very well (her own trauma history that she didn't want to deal with = stressed, cold, detached and I know later raging-terrorizing-abusive...I suspect dissociated in these times because of how her eyes were), and I was hospitalized again in later childhood...in a clinic far away from my family for special PICU services. And I never felt safe around my mom anyway, so anybody could have just adopted me at the hospital and it would have probably made little difference to me at the time...my warm fuzzy feelings never really developed. My best memories from childhood were moments when I was all by myself.
If I'm somehow deficient in oxytocin can I make up for it? Has anyone taken it as a medication and does it help...or does it only help short term? I read that it could help with connections with people you already know, but also increase defenses towards strangers. I also don't know if my GP could prescribe or if I'd need a psychiatrist (yucky experiences with them). All the basic meds have not worked well at all for me (SSRIs, SNRIs, NRIs, my doc won't give me benzos :meh:, some anti-psychotic I don't remember). I'm interested in less traditional meds, and even any experience with meds that help in connection to really early trauma, disconnection and addiction stuff. I'm also interested in naltrexone. Gabapentin is a little helpful for pain and also feeling more relaxed and a tiny bit able to connect.
Ideally, I'd like no meds...but if there is something in my brain that could benefit from the right nudge and help me connect better, I'd try it. I say that even though I hate meds. My level of detachment is just pretty deep and lifelong.
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