Trauma Group Is Too Traumatizing

[Pilgrim]

I started a trauma therapy group last week, and I was so terrified the whole time. I couldn't wait til it was over and I could run out the door. This whole week since, I have been overwhelmed, very terribly sad, and numbing out. Big time. Dissociative, even. I thought this would help, but have realized that I'm feeling so terribly fragile that I can't handle it. I am calling to cancel it. I just can't go back.

 

[Sandstone]

Can you pin down what aspect of it you found so difficult? Was it hearing other peoples stories?, Or fear of telling yours? Or being with a group of new people? Or dealing with a new situation?

The best way to respond depends on what the cause is, and on whether you can find a way to work with and learn from that cause. It might be that the exposure to these things is good and helps you resolve them. Or it might be that it isn't the right time yet, or isn't the right group.

 

[Deleted member 29920]

Is it the first time you've been to group therapy?

 

[Born to Run]

Good decision, this seems not what you need right now. Maybe you could find a therapist, who can work with you at the individual level you need, in that way you could make a lot more progress. Personally, I did not find group therapy effective, I did 4 years when I was depressed, pre-ptsd diagnosis. I never said anything back then, quite useless in retrospect.

 

[shimmerz]

I was accepted into a high ranking trauma hospital program a few years ago. What I knew about myself was that I could NOT be in a group of people. I was too raw to their energy. I waited for two years to get 1 on 1 counseling. I agree with Born. Trust what you feel. Don't push it.

 

[Pilgrim]

@stenni I think its a combination of things - the reminders OF the traumas that landed me in this group, which I would prefer not to think about.. And then there's the fact that I feel so terrified in a GROUP of people, bc I can NOT be tuned in to or watch what every single person is doing, the whole time.. I'm afraid I'll miss some important cue, and something bad will happen. And I won't have been able to see it coming, and run. Makes me incredibly panicky. I think that is why. I don't know these people. I don't TRUST these people. So, understandably, I don't feel safe, with them.. This was a very good ??. Thanks for getting me to look deeper into it.. :cautious: Suspicious 1, here..:depressed:

 

[Pilgrim]

@Cj77 , yes this is my first group 'therapy' experience. I've been in abuse support groups before, and while I may have been nervous there, I could always hide behind my silence.. :speechless:. That was allowed in those groups. But, this one, you are completely "expected" to participate, and share. Somehow I think I feel like that is a violation. I don't want to have to talk, until I'm ready, and feel at least somewhat secure... And I don't think that is really too much to ask!!! - wow. No wonder I'm a basket case all week.. all kinds of triggers going on, here!

 

[Pilgrim]

@Born to Run thank you for the support. I think I needed validation that it is OK to not stress myself past what I can handle, bc I think I "should" be able to handle it. I can't, right now. I appreciate everyones' feedback, questions, and support here. I really needed this place. Bad.

 

[Pilgrim]

@shimmerz I relate to what you said about being too raw to their energy, in a group.. it's hard enough to handle my own pain, but I feel like a sponge who takes on everyone elses suffering too, and try to put myself in their shoes, and to like imagine what their experience must be like. I don't have a lot of ability to detach from that, so its really painful. And, I can't solve their problem or situation so its really sort of crossing over their boundaries, too, when I do this. I think.

 

[Deleted member 29920]

@Pilgrim, everything you've said makes complete sense, this is a group of complete strangers, and you are expected to just divulge all the things you went through to them, how is that even possible? It's hard enough in one to one therapy just building trust to tell one person. Maybe it's just not the right time for you to try the group therapy? I don't think you should pressure yourself to do it if it's making you feel worse at this moment in time. I also agree that it would be overwhelming listening to the other group members' experiences. You would have to feel that you are able to detach from that. I think if it's going to make you feel worse at this moment in time maybe it would be better to leave it for a while. There's no shame in that, I think probably loads of people have felt the same as you and not gone back, whether it be for a while or for ever. You should only do it if/when you feel you will gain from it.

 

[Sandstone]

The only group I've ever been in specifically stopped us from sharing any details of traumas until at least the 6th week. and even then didn't push it. I'd have found hearing about any details incredibly demanding and painful too, and I still hate the idea of telling anyone any details of my own. I'd never dream of telling strangers.

It sounds as though you need a group that focusses on managing symptoms, grounding, self-soothing and the like. Are they covering those things?

 

[Born to Run]

this one, you are completely "expected" to participate, and share. Somehow I think I feel like that is a violation. I don't want to have to talk, until I'm ready, and feel at least somewhat secure.

I totally agree with you, trauma is so individual and I would only be able to relate to group therapy for trauma to learn certain skills or methods. I simply can not imagine ever doing individual level trauma therapy in a group setting. Expected to share; a violation yes indeed. Expectations in trauma therapy are one of the worst things for traumatised people I believe, as we have always had to conform, adapt to survive. To me it is retraumatization.