How To Cope With Setbacks?

[MyPTSD]

Medication and therapy are the two primary treatment methods for PTSD, so how do you cope with setbacks and not being discouraged by setbacks?

 

[hodge]

I've recently been going through a major setback -- a new trauma memory and increased nightmares due to bad sleep. How do I cope? First of all, I have always taken it that PTSD is a lifelong condition. I never expected to be cured, so I am not surprised so much by this setback. I don't like it, but it's here. I have gone back to therapy to deal with the new stuff, well not really new stuff, but stuff I never dealt with that's been coming up. It's not PTSD trauma stuff, but still bad stuff which has affected me. I get discouraged, but I keep plugging away because I'm breathing. I'm seeing my psychiatrist next week and will find out what we can tweak to help me. I just keep on keeping on, because that's my only option.

 

[Meadowsweet]

For me set backs become a lot more difficult to bear when I am: a) trying to deny my current feelings, and then b) measuring my current emotional state against how I was feeling prior to the set back.

That can quickly lead into a state of mentally beating myself up and making things a whole lot worse by not looking after myself.

So acceptance that this is where I am, and here and now is what I'm experiencing (not last week, last month or last year), and when I can accept it and accept that it's not where I wanted to be, but it is where I am, I can begin to work with that.

That sometimes means looking at what has triggered this state, what the stressors are in my life and being honest about how they are effecting me. Sometimes it means recognising an aspect of a past trauma that I haven't come to terms with, and realising that it is effecting the way I handle things now - and doing the therapy work to help me to come to terms with those feelings and to manage them in relation to the current situation, rather than react to them as in the traumatic situation.

 

[oasis2003]

I am going through a set back. I was ok functioning on a day to day basis. Now I cannot function on a day to day basis. I went back to see the therapist and she cancelled. Is this what happens? You are ok then spiral back into being hyper and hypo. It was after months of gruelling emdr, cbt and exposure therapy that I got to where I was. Do I have to repeat all that just to function properly ?

This is what I want to ask the therapist where do I go from here.?
I have learnt to repress my emotions to protect myself and have massive trust issues it is difficult to admit feelings even to myself let alone any one else. The thought of bringing down all my protective defences and bearing all does not seem possible to me.

 

[hodge]

I'm sorry, Oasis. I hope you can get to the point of expressing your feelings to your therapist, if you trust him or her.

 

[TonyG]

I am having a set back now, I feel like I am back at the start again, I have come to far to give up now so I just have to work through it. The thing that keeps me going is I have been feeling really good and I want that feeling back

 

[jaccat]

I think writing helps me, and support from others- particularly the support of those on this board.

 

[Changing4Best]

I'm in a setback of sorts now. Long story.... One thing I recognized, with the help of some folks here, is I've been having some Negative Thinking going on. I read the article about this in the June Newsletter here, and am looking forward to its continuation next month. I took notes even.

I have spotted the issue, and have named it so far. I am challenging the negative thought too. That is as far as I got so far.

I have had other setbacks in the past, including being homeless for 3 years once. I overcame that, so I think I can overcome this too.

Looking back into your past and seeing how you have handled other setbacks you have had in the past successfully might help.

 

[Recovery4Me]

how do you cope with setbacks and not being discouraged by setbacks?

I think that 'accepting' that I will feel discouraged at times within my setbacks is very important for my authenticity or resilience. As well, not isolating during those periods, giving voice to those setbacks without shame and reaching out on this board has been instrumental to moving forward, having emotional support and direction to add hope among that sinking feeling.

Hearing others offer their shares on overcoming setbacks did not minimize my pain or theirs through comparison (as it is not a competition) but offered instead a place to witness, that there are constructive choices that have worked for others. I owe much to this board in that area alone and I thank you for that.

 

[Spiderallis]

I remind myself of what a friend told me- the only way a setback can happen is that you were trying, it's like how addicts can't relapse until they decide to stop. Sometimes you're doing something new and haven't seen how it works before. It's okay to make a mistake so long as you keep trying to do as well as possible.

 

[Changing4Best]

That's true. I got back to a good place this morning, and it is similar to the last good place I was in a few years back. It was just that I had forgotten something, a viewpoint of sorts that I had had. I recalled that viewpoint, realized I'd somehow lost it and bingo! I was back to where I had been before. A happy, loving and lovely, fulfilling place. I went through a deep healing experience this morning. I am so relieved.