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What Made You Angry Today?

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My best friend. We agreed to start earlier on proofreading today...around six o'clock and she called me at half past seven "I'm home"....and made me feel bad because I was upset. I cannot sleep as long as she does, I worked all day and didn't meet people just to drink coffee...sometimes, I cannot rely on her. :confused:
 
I'm angry that the nightmare I had last night made me wake up feeling anxious. I felt more anxious than I realized I did and I ended up triggered. I ended up having a really bad flashback. I'm angry at the nightmare. I'm angry that I got triggered. I'm angry that I had a flashback. I'm angry that I was traumatized to the point that I have PTSD and I have to deal with all of this now. I'm angry that I'm still dealing with the affects of the actions of other people.
 
I've been reading Richard Bentall's "Madness Explained" http://www.bookdepository.com/Madness-Explained-Richard-Bentall/9780140275407 I first started reading it 10 years ago, but I was too ill with glandular fever to take it in. my current copy has been working its way to the top of my reading pile since the Autumn.

Bentall applies simple logic and scientific rigour to the current "neo Kraepelinian" paradigm of psychiatry, and his logic is absolutely devastating.

In his examination of research into a possible genetic componant to Schizophrenia and Manic psychoses, he unmasks some absolutely apalling cargo cult scientism, which would hopefully earn an undergraduate thesis an E- or an F grade, but which instead appears as the currently accepted wisdom of psychiatry.

What moved me?

Reading about identical female quadruplets, born in 1930, who were paraded as a case study of the genetic causes of psychoses.

The four women were pseudonomized as the "Genain" quads (Literally "Bad Genes") and the first names began with the letters NIMH.

One baby is hard enough work for a mother, but four! wow, that is seriously going to stress her out.

The father was an alcaholic and it appears likely that he sexually abused at least 2 of the girls.

Two of the girls were found engaging in mutual masturbation, I paraphrase:

"The horrified parents agreed with the attending physician that the girls should be "circumcised" and that they should have their hands tied to the sides of the bed for 30 nights. The other two girls were not informed of what was going on"...

at best, this was two young girls engaging in normal adolescent exploration, at worst they wereacting out after being abused by their creep of a father. What f*cking barbarism and mutilation did that euphemism actually describe in the America of that time? and just who exactly was acting on the basis of delusional thinking?

I've been keeping my apparently normal personality up as a mask, but inside I'm triggered to hell, and have been for 3 days now.

I don't remember being mutilated, I was about 6 months old at the time and apparently it was spread out over several days (first came stretching and tearing with surgical forceps), but from the way that even the mention of mutilation triggers me, I'm pretty sure it's one of the experiences that got me coming here to this board, half a century later.

Sure, the problems those four little girls went on to experience - were entirely down to their bad genes...

Bentall's research since writing that book has found statistical evidence of an increased incidence of psychosis in people who have been traumatized, and of a statistical association between childhood sexual abuse and suffering hallucinations Dead Link Removed

If any of those four ladies are still alive, my heart goes out to them, if they are all gone, may they rest in peace.
 
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When I went to the eye doctor today, and it happens anytime I go a medical person, they will ask me medical questions about my mother/father/siblings/children, etc.

Today, I just replied with "none of the above" as they don't know or understand what kind of relationship or knowledge I had about my parents and siblings. Maybe, I should just answer with "I wish I knew."

It just stirs me up. I went back to this meeting yesterday, and probably won't go back. This guy was talking about the "family". I wanted to speak up and tell him that I was told years ago, that I never had one.
 
@Let It Be ....:hug:s some questions are so painful to us. I understand a little and hope you find some answers that bring you peace. I go throught this with gyno questions and children. You are being very brave in heart.

I feel angry that some forms for receiving care are often outmoded, emotionally charged for many and are rarely used by the practitioner on face value.
 
I feel angry about some friends of my best friend. They came for her birthday, but were playing on their smart phones most of the time. You didn't know whether you were uninteresting or if they just didn't realize how impolite their behaviour was.

I'm angry that I forgot the salt for my bread again...it's not the first time and I begin to feel very stupid. :meh:
 
I was angry about my chief's behaviour. He had to act all high and mighty and scare me before the weekend that I wouldn't get off for my move - and when I talked to him later, it was all okay. Typical "little man" syndrome, I hate that...
 
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