Where I Am

[fuzzypenguin]

I'm shaking. I feel like there's nobody here for me, that nobody cares, that I am truly all alone. Nobody reaches out and will randomly check on me. Nobody notices when I'm struggling. Everybody believes me when I say I'm fine, when it is clear that I am not. I'm done. Mentally and physically done. It's hard enough as is. :(

nobody cares. nobody leaves. nobody leaves because nobody ever comes. :cry:

that's how it seems to be at least. ooh joy. just my luck.

==========


I'm feeling numb, but at the same time, there's so much pressure inside...must release it....:sorry:

*Nobody is a general term applied to most areas of my life, not just this site.


:cry:

 

[Flossy]

((( hug ))) having a shit day too. So sorry. Try to leave the house.....even to stand outside under sun or the moon ...it's all I've got to offer. I am going to ignore my own advise and sit and watch Dr Phil. It makes me feel better about myself.

 

[hodge]

I'm so sorry for how you're feeling, FuzzyPenguin. I'm glad you reached out so we could know you needed to be checked on. Have you been eating? Sleeping?

 

[mrsps]

Hi @fuzzypenguin (((hugs))) if you would accept one
Sad to hear you are having a rough time, but here is a great place to come and talk as we know what its like to have shit days and to feel alone. Please talk to us as we are here to listen and support you.
We care about you and would like to know how you are doing :)

 

[Matt1055]

Hey-

FuzzyPenguin- You KNOW this is exactly how this disease attacks us... first through our perceptions, then once behind the battle line, the other units fall.

Stand tall. You mean to more to others than your mind is allowing you to realize right now. This is exactly how our mutual enemy- depression- works.

So... if you got the guts to do it, call one of those people you love, and tell them so. No matter how many bridges you have burned, I give you my deepest and most sincere guarantee they will be overjoyed just too hear from you.

I will be expecting feedback over the next 24 hours, my friend.

Funny, the post I wanted to make tonight was roughly "all is rotten, then we die".

We can do together that which would kill us alone.

M

 

[Matt1055]

Also, FuzzyPenguin, you are wanted, needed, and regardless of what your own mind may want you to believe at this point, loved.

You are welcome to PM me anytime you want.

M

BTW, I expect you will contact someone you love, and provide feedback w\i 24. ;)

 

[Matt1055]

.....even to stand outside under sun o...

"Cursing the sunlight". A skillset rarely appreciated outside of those with major depression and the meth-heads down by the airport! :hungover:

M

Haha...ugh.

 

[Flossy]

@Matt1055
I'd lay in the sun and soak it up into my brains and soul if it wasn't for the Melanoma Monster, the Basal Cell Boogie Man and the Over Sixty Skin Faerie who loves to spead brown spots and crepiness. Always somethin'. humph.

I'm still cute, that's something.

 

[Matt1055]

Aw, gawd, you Aussies! I love you and the whole, slightly mad country!:woot:

M

BTW, never met an AU's who's manner of greeting other people who was socially acceptable! :eek:

 

[fuzzypenguin]

@Matt1055

Demanding much? I know you mean well though. You explained it well though, so I appreciate that. It's hard sometimes to try to explain how you feel, and what you're going through, and it's always helpful when someone else explains what you're going through better than yourself.

 

[Matt1055]

Guilty as charged.

I've been down this road enough that I understand that if you don't keep moving forward, you are moving backwards.

I reached out to a great friend who thought I "fell off the edge of the Earth" when this depression crashed down on me a month or so ago. Actually the talk was good. This depression still lingers, there's still hate and discontent in the Middle East, storms rage some places while drought lingers others. Cruelty still happens (with shocking regularity). But I really liked speaking with Kyle again.

It was hard to do, though. Why is it the only thing that feels natural when in the grip of a depression, is to isolate?!?

Talk to someone you love today... if not for yourself, for their sake.

M

 

[fuzzypenguin]

Guilty as charged.

I've been down this road enough that I understand that if you don't keep moving f...

Everybody I would talk to is busy at work right now so it would have to be later. I was able to run some errands this morning, but it was hard to connect with, per se, what I was doing. It felt like I was doing it, without doing it - if that makes sense.