Would Going Back On Medication Be A Step Backwards?

[Mit]

I would be glad of anyone's thoughts or advice. I stopped taking anti depressants about two years ago. I stopped taking them because I didn't think it was actually making any difference and I thought it was the right thing to do after being on medication for three years.

After stopping the tablets I seem ok(ish) for a while. I still suffered from anxiety attacks and felt depressed but it didn't seem too bad. After six months my partner and I noticed I was getting more frequent and debilitating anxiety attacks, and it's continued to get worse. Now I feel constantly anxious and get severe attacks every few days, often about relatively minor things, and fall apart emotionally if I have to face anything more serious. It's affecting my family and work and quality of life quite profoundly. I do think about suicide regularly again (something I stopped doing for a while) and have researched it a bit recently (no plans at the moment).

A therapist has suggested I consider talking to my doctor about anti depressants again. I swore I'd never go back on medication but now I am giving it serious thought, but I also feel I'd be giving in and taking a step backwards. Would it be a step back, or am I denying myself something that might help, in the short term at least. It's probably a stupid question, which matches how I feel about myself at the moment..

 

[Deleted member 1860]

Why would it be a step backward? I don't understand this.

 

[Go Hungry]

Nope, not a step back. Think of it this way... I'm a Type-II diabetic, and take metformin to lower my blood sugar. And I've heart that eating a largely carbohydrate-free diet, can really lower blood sugar as well, to the point that some people just stop taking the medicine. But if something went wrong, and they started needing the medicine again, would that be considered backsliding?

It has nothing to do with willpower or effort on your part. It's certainly not a moral failing, if that's what you're thinking. Nope, just a problem in need to fixing. So just take the meds and don't worry about it. I certainly don't feel guilty taking mine?

 

[WillyKat]

I agree with the other posters, this isn't a step backwards at all. My advice is to not consider therapy, healing, recovery--whatever you want to call it--any kind of linear process. It's not a project at work or school, there's no timeline. It's circular.

 

[Anna Roberts]

I used to feel the same way about going back on medication, and resisted it for a few months. It ended up setting me back. Going on medication is actually a step forward in the healing process, and definitely a step in the right direction. It's not giving in or being weak, it's admitting to yourself that you need help and having the courage to get that help.

 

[InvisibleSun]

I felt the exact same way when I went back on my medications but in all honesty, it was probably one of the best decisions I ever made. Nothing wrong with utilizing meds if you truly feel it might help. Worst case scenario you decide it isn't for you and you go off of them again. No harm, no foul..

 

[Mit]

Thanks for the thoughts. It's helpful to know other people have gone back on medication. It's in my nature to want to tough things out (I guess that in itself has contributed to my problems) and twist something that might be helpful into a sign of weakness on my part. I am fearful of the side effects though, they were pretty awful last time, until I got used to them.

Cheers.

 

[Anarchy]

Hi Mit,
Are you still seeing a therapist?
Do you have other resources that you can call upon if you need them?
The figures for SSRI s are not good with regard to suicide: an approximate doubling of completed suicides compared to placebo, while the improvement in depression ratings are within about three to five percent of those for placebo:
In rough figures about 38% of those on a placebo improve, compared to about 42% on the SSRI.

Have you tried "the mindful way through depression?" I don't know how to link from this tablet, but I did link to it yesterday, in Evan's intro thread.

Also sending you a pm.
Hugs
@

 

[Friday]

This is my understanding of medication :

A) You go on them when you simply cannot manage -or manage well- without them. Then you learn to manage on them (therapy, therapy, therapy), Then you peel them back and learn to manage without them. You've already laid the groundwork for managing with them, so the trail is broken. Now it needs to become a well worn path. Repeat as necessary.

- Taking meds without therapy is fairly pointless in the long term (can be life saving in the short term). Meanwhile, therapy can be equally pointless without meds, if things are too hard to actually deal with, without a crutch. It's the combination of the two that is synergistic. People do learn to manage without meds. People do learn to manage without therapy. More commonly, though, without he combo? People end up stuck on meds never learning to manage, or locked in cycles they can't break out of without meds. Each is half of the equation.

B) If there is a life long thing? Expect to be on some form of medication life long. PTSD is cyclic, so it makes sense that there will be periods both on an off. Not necessarily, but probably. Other disorders, meanwhile, are constant (bipolar disorder, for example).

 

[Mit]

Are you still seeing a therapist?

I've just started seeing an NHS therapist again, as of yesterday. It's normally limited to six sessions but I've been given this second lot of six sessions (because they think there is a risk of self harm). There's normally a mandatory 3 month gap between any subsequent lots of six sessions. This was reduced to 10 weeks in my case, because of the risk assessment. In between I've been seeing someone through a charity for victims of sexual abuse, she's nice but it's very unstructured and I suspect is doing more harm than good. The NHS therapist admitted yesterday that my constellation of problems probably required years, not weeks of therapy, I have to make the best of what's on offer, but it is all so rushed.

I did a mindfulness course a few years ago, but I have been terrible at actually using the techniques, I really struggle with the discipline and having the space and time. It's my failing that I haven't made the best use of what I learned on the course.

Thanks for the info. about risks with SSRIs. I am aware they can increase risk of suicidal thoughts/feelings. The first type I was given had that very effect on me, terrible and terrifying. I ended up on Sertraline, which didn't trigger such extreme reactions (for me anyway).

The NHS therapist I saw yesterday said ultimately it was for me to decide if I wanted to go back on medication, but wondered if I should wait and see if my sessions with her help first. I admitted I had been trying to get more sleeping tablets from my GP to take with other stuff, in planning a way out if I needed it. She's contacting the surgery to stop that. I felt more rational and less anxious yesterday so it was easier to talk and think more clearly, the first time for about two weeks.

Thanks, I'll look out for the PM.

- Taking meds without therapy is fairly pointless in the long term (can be life saving in the short term). Meanwhile, therapy can be equally pointless without meds, if things are too hard to actually deal with, without a crutch. It's the combination of the two that is synergistic.

Thanks Friday, what you describe makes sense, and is reassuring. The problem (for me at least) is that the therapy part of the equation is too short lived here to give sustained benefit. This is the third bout of short term therapy I will have had in 5 years, and the first sessions were purely fire fighting to try and keep me safe in the midst of very traumatising experience.

B) If there is a life long thing? Expect to be on some form of medication life long. PTSD is cyclic, so it makes sense that there will be periods both on an off. Not necessarily, but probably

I do suffer from depression, so perhaps I just have to accept there will be periods when medication can be helpful.

It's been really helpful to talk about it. Thanks everyone for being kind and caring.

 

[The Albatross]

Mit, considering the increase and severity of symptoms and because your NHS therapist thinks there is a risk of self harm (do you?) it is not a step backwards if you elect to go back to a med until you reestablish your ability to self manage.

I actually come to the same conclusion you do in your post above, "I do suffer from depression, so perhaps I just have to accept there will be periods when medication can be helpful." Though I don't like meds or the withdrawals... I do recognize that when used responsibly under the supervision of a medical doctor and/or therapist... they are assistive and I can get enough shorter term relief (my own personal standard thus far has been one year trial or less) to get some levity and improve some self management tools or skill sets. I am though diagnosed "situational depression" rather than any sort of clinical depression and my therapist encouraged coping skills over meds wherever possible. My medical doctor concurred though initially was reluctant for me to discontinue the SSRI. It was successful and longer term benefits and improvements were made during and after that time.

I'm starting a new course of medication today... having made the decision that it not a step back, but it is the personally responsible thing to do to help me reach a longer term goal. In my case, it's tobacco addiction... but after several years now of trying on my own, I am open to the medication intervention to stop the self harming behavior.

Good on you and your partner for recognizing the increase in symptoms and taking appropriate measures!

 

[ms spock]

I did a mindfulness course a few years ago, but I have been terrible at actually using the techniques, I really struggle with the discipline and having the space and time. It's my failing that I haven't made the best use of what I learned on the course.

That is overly harsh. Mindfulness is not a judgmental practice where you take yourself to task for not being good enough. If that is what you got out of the course it is a good thing that you protected yourself by not being so harsh towards yourself.

Mindfulness needs to come from an inquisitive, curious, compassionate, open hearted and attentive place - any type of goal orientation is just not the ticket.

In The Mindful Way Through Depression (audio 5 hours and 14 minutes available on youtube) it actually suggests that you don't begin mindfulness whilst in an episode of depression but begin when the worst of that depression is over. Just recycling rumination is not going to be helpful for you and that is not what Mindfulness is about.

Just for your information Mit.

https://www.myptsd.com/threads/pote...-depression-starting-15th-of-june-2015.52657/

3:38:17 (from the 5:14:54 youtube version) it is suggested that you don't start Mindfulness Practice whilst in a depressive episode, that you wait until the worst of it is over.

Take the medications whilst you need them @Mit is my suggestion, then you can grab hold of stuff and have a chance at having a real go of it.