Panic Attack - Losing Touch With Reality

[Deleted member 19804]

It's a very stressful time for me, because I have to do a lot of resit exams. I have been taking extra classes in order to pass the hardest ones, but today I couldn't bring myself to go to my classes. My parents paid for them and I feel like I'm being pathetic and ungrateful.

When I'm in a panic attack I often feel this impending sense of doom - like something terrible is going to happen to me or people I love, because I am a bad person. It's like I'm toxic to those around me and I'm terrified I'll make a mistake and others will suffer because of it. I know it's not rational, but this is how I feel.
Right now I'm losing touch with reality because I think that if I skip this class, my parents will get hurt. Physically, I mean. So now I am racing to get to the last part of the class, to prevent anything from happening to them.

I'm sorry for the confusing story. I'm not always this crazy. Can anyone relate to the irrational fears?

 

[RussH]

Snow consider yourself hugged, and just know that you will ok

 

[SnowJo]

It's a very stressful time for me, because I have to do a lot of resit exams. I have been taking extra...

SnowJo:
be kind to yourself. My daughter really suffered for last 2 years of school from anxiety and panick attacks, she was exhausted all the time. I felt bad, I was not always equiped to handle it, as I have C-PTSD, but you know what I backed her, and I just reminded her she's awesome and eventually she did a snowboarding course and became an instructor, then later went to Uni and now runs her own very successful business. Some of the best and most talent people struggle for a while, be your own best friend and take special care of you.

 

[Deleted member 19804]

@RussH thank you for the hug, I really need one right now.

@SnowJo thank you for your kind words and your support. And just so you know: you sound like a great mom.

 

[Anarchy]

Snowhite,
sending you some mindful hugs to go with the hugs from Russ.

Good luck
@:hug:

 

[Deleted member 19804]

Thank you, @Anarchy :hug:

The day's been tough but I made it through. I hope I'll feel better tomorrow.

 

[RussH]

Snow you know that if I could jump on a plane come there and give you an honest to goodness real hug I would
PM me if you need to

 

[City Slicker]

@Snowwhite, take a deep breath if you can and for a second, see how awesome you are and that you made it through the day. Hoping tomorrow is a much better day.

 

[Anarchy]

sending you some more hugs for today.

 

[Deleted member 19804]

Thank you all so much for your support. It really helps.

I have decided to take things a bit more slowly, as I am clearly at my limit. So I am going to do half days at school and I am increasing my medication. I think that's the right thing to do.

 

[Anarchy]

Hi Snow,
I don't know what meds you are taking, but anxiety, painful restlessness and inability to initiate tasks can be side effects of several of the psychiatric meds.

If I remember correctly, what you describe can be an effect of some of the SSRIs on some people - so it is worth reading through the side effects sheet, and checking on the net (the drugs company only print what they have to in order to avoid prosecution - you don't get the person with a fish stall on a market shouting "stinking fish - come and buy it, it's already going off, look, the flies like it!" Same for drugs companies, they get their money from selling drugs, not from telling you the truth)

This Link https://www.myptsd.com/threads/ssri...ontravention-of-do-no-harm.52397/#post-836456 posted by @shimmerz comes from a point of view that is highly skeptical of SSRI's, I agree with that position. The link is likely to be rejected out of hand by a prescriber, but it may give you some background that you can find corroboration from less skeptical sources to take to your prescriber, to make sure that the meds are not part of the problem, or perhaps even the root of the problem.

If you are in the school library, see if you can get a copy of Richard Bentall's "madness explained" out, and have a look at what he says of his experiences of taking miniscule doses of some of the neuroleptics. It'll only take you about 20 minutes to read that bit.

Incidentally, Bentall points out that the "fewer side effects" claim for atypical neuroleptics was based on trials where the atypical was used at its optimum therapeutic dose, and the older vanilla flavour neuroleptic was used at a dose that was about ten times higher than the dose beyond which no more therapeutic benefits were seen... unlike the therepeutic effects which stop, the side effects keep increasing in a fairly linear fashion with dose.

Hugs and best wishes
@

 

[Anarchy]

By chance, I found Anthony's post about Fluoxetene (prozac) https://www.myptsd.com/threads/prozac-fluoxetine-hydrochloride-for-ptsd.177/ . Most of the effects will be similar for the other SSRIs too (for example Zoloft looks to be the same http://www.drugs.com/sfx/zoloft-side-effects.html ). see if any of these make sense to you and ask your prescriber if taking more might be likely to make things worse rather than better. it may be that you need to take less! but I'm not able to advise on that.

also if your prescriber thinks that it might be the meds, then they need to write to your university about it - because that would explain your difficulties.

Nervous System

• Frequent: agitation, amnesia, confusion, emotional lability, sleep disorder;
• Infrequent: abnormal gait, acute brain syndrome, akathisia, apathy, ataxia, buccoglossal syndrome, CNS depression, CNS stimulation, depersonalization, euphoria, hallucinations, hostility, hyperkinesia, hypertonia, hypesthesia, incoordination, libido increased, myoclonus, neuralgia, neuropathy, neurosis, paranoid reaction, personality disorder, psychosis, vertigo;
• Rare: abnormal electroencephalogram, antisocial reaction, circumoral paresthesia, coma, delusions, dysarthria, dystonia, extrapyramidal syndrome, foot drop, hyperesthesia, neuritis, paralysis, reflexes decreased, reflexes increased, stupor.

hugs
@