Questions For Those With Ptsd

[Lilmssunshine]

Do you miss your loved ones while you isolate? What are some things you want your loved ones to do while you isolate?

When my loved one is isolating I don't expect him to return phone calls or texts til he feels ready. He comes back in his own terms. But I do send him a text every couple of days that don't nag him or anything. Just a photo of my day. Or a loving praise. I don't know if he doesn't like that or not. He doesn't say anything about them. I guess if he didn't want those occasional things he would tell me. After I send him a few text or call I usually stop texting and don't call. Then it seems like he wonders why I stopped lol. And calls. We're not in a relationship but I do love him. Were good friends who admitted our love for each other but he lives far now. I guess I've done something right over the past three years because he still loves me. And comes back. I just would like to know if he misses me while he isolates. Does he go on auto pilot or does he think of me?

What are some things I can do to make him feel supported?

 

[Friday]

What are some things I can do to make him feel supported?

You'll need to ask him this one, when he's in a good place. What makes one person feel loved & supported? Pisses another one off completely & drives them away.

 

[falling_wave]

Do you miss your loved ones while you isolate?

Absolutely. I miss my loved ones very much when I isolate. I don't do it to get away from them. I do it because my emotions are so huge and overwhelming that I feel I can't possibly face life weather or not I want to. It's like I'm trapped in a bubble and I can't break free. Bad feeling.

What are some things you want your loved ones to do while you isolate?

I want my loved ones to check on me and ask how I'm doing. Either that or not mention I'm struggling but tell me not ask that we are going to coffee or watching a movie downstairs etc. Sometimes I just need help out of it. I need to feel loved but not smothered and I need to know that they still think of me when I'm not around. If I'm isolating and dealing with difficult stuff and everyone completely leaves me alone I won't say anything but I feel disposable and that extends things and makes them worse.

What are some things I can do to make him feel supported?

Mention things unrelated to symptoms or ptsd that are important or special to you about him. Self esteem can really be damaged during those times. Also talk with him about your struggles or things that make you happy. For me I need to feel that a relationship is reciprocal even when I'm struggling.

 

[joeylittle]

No - I don't miss them, and don't want to hear from them. Now, I'm only taking about the people I can call 'friends who know about my mental health' - I'm not in a relationship.

 

[Lilmssunshine]

Mine told me he wants to hear from me. Then he isolated. I'm just doing what he asked of me. If he told me he wants to not hear from me is back off.

 

[Tara007]

I've recently started dating a Marine who was medically discharged and has PTSD. everything was fine the first 2 weeks, but we went away for a weekend with friends, then we come back and he's distant suddenly. He rarely responds to my calls or texts, he said he needs space and yells at me. I went away for a week on a vacation with family, rarely heard from him. he said he was excited for me to come back. i came back on a sunday, he didn't see me till Weds. I feel like he's making excuse after excuse. I did ask him what the deal was and he said he's been busy with work and has family issues going. I've been giving him his space like he asked, but it's a struggle to even see him, but when we do see each other he talks about the future with me and things we're going to do. other times i feel like he wants nothing to do with me. should i stay with him or let the relationship go? My friends tell me to break up with him and that i deserve better. I don't know what to do...can anyone help?

 

[Lilmssunshine]

I've recently started dating a Marine who was medically discharged and has PTSD. everything was fine the...

You have to decide if you can handle being a supporter Hun. You have to set boundaries as far as not putting up with him yelling at you. I have bi polar disorder and I still don't think it's ok for me or anyone else to yell at someone. you have to learn not to take things personally. If you want your needs met I suggest keeping him as a friend til you can figure out if his situation is what you can deal with. What keeps me sane is keeping my options open and dating other people.

 

[Owl.]

I'm pretty new at trying the "isolating" thing.
For years and years, whenever I got overwhelmed and couldn't handle being in touch with someone, I made D*MN SURE I nuked those bridges as thoroughly as humanly possible.
People basically got blasted right out of my little universe with no way to return, and I've come to regret most of those times.

Then some random dude pranced into my life and taught me about the wonders of (selective) isolating, because he's an absolute pro at it. I gave it a shot and I think it might just be the better, healthier and less painful alternative to my old ways.

Now comes the double-standard.
No, I don't miss those I'm isolating from. Getting messages, even just small, fun ones with no pressure or (expressed!) expectations annoys me and actually makes me a LOT less likely to get back to them any time soon. When I say I need space, I need space, period, and even the smallest violation of that pushes me this much closer to reverting to the old ways, even though I really don't want to be that person anymore.
They might luck out and ping me at just the right time, when I'm ready to resurface yet unsure about the "how"s and "when"s, but they're just as - if not more - likely to push me farther.

Being the one that's GETTING shut out? I want that idiot to miss me until his head implodes with it.
He doesn't, 'cause said head is stuffed to the limit and beyond with MUCH more important matters and I know and understand that all too well.
Doesn't mean I actually *KNOW* and *UNDERSTAND* it. :banghead::banghead::banghead:

 

[Justmehere]

Do you miss your loved ones while you isolate? What are some things you want your loved ones to do while you isolate?

Do I miss them? Sort of. For me, it's a very painful place. It's like my symptoms are coming at me so strong, that it's overwhelming. Think of someone who is tired and nauseated from chemotherapy. They may want to interact with others, but when they are on the 12th hour of puking after the last round of chemo, the biggest thing on their mind when they are curled up on the bathroom floor exhausted beyond all words and puking for the umpteenth time is "dear God let this puking stop." (I have PTSD and also had to go through chemo.) It's not really about the other person. It's that the symptoms are just too much to also try to engage people.

For me, isolation is a painful and miserable place. But reconnecting too soon makes the pain worse, not better.

What are some things I can do to make him feel supported?

Ask him this. Then be true to your own boundaries and needs. Also, don't leave your own needs in t he relationship out of the equation. It helps me to know what others need and want, and it's up to me to figure out what I can and can't do. Healthy boundaries are about communicating what we need to say no to, and what we want to say yes to - what we want in a friendship.

Something that makes me feel supported is knowing that others are still there, but willing to give me space and not take it personally. It sounds like you are doing all you can in that regard. Kudos to you.

What keeps me sane is keeping my options open and dating other people.

Smart thinking. :)

 

[InvisibleSun]

I miss my friends terribly.and I feel so incredibly lonely when I isolate. but I just..can't help it..I just need the solitude. Friendships are exhausting for me..
I definitely recommend speaking to him when he is in the right frame of mind about how you can be more supportive. Be compassionate but don't pressure him. All you can really do is talk to him and see how he feels.

 

[Deleted member 29991]

I am posting a message somewhere so I can get a like.
What a waste of time ! LOL!


That is all.
Continue as you were all.

 

[Friday]

@Humphrey ... Might I suggest you start your own thread, then? We have a vibrant and supportive section for "Supporters", themselves :)

https://www.myptsd.com/#supporters.37

As well as an introduction forum at the top of the forums page, which can be very useful in starting to get to know people!