Found A Job But Not In My Field

[Autumn76]

I didn't know where to put this and to be honest it's just me venting and has absolutely nothing to do with ptsd.

I have a library and media science degree but to be honest I don't have the courage to be around people so I got a job as a dishwasher. I was proud of myself as I haven't worked in nearly two years. The people are friendly. I don't know how to drive and every time I ask my husband for a lesson he has a really good excuse why he can't teach me. Last night was an event I had been looking forward to and when he got home I was ready to go. He reminded me he had work today, I told him I did too and he said but your job is so small. The baby had a rough night and I asked for help, once again I got reminded he had work this morning. At three thirty I woke up for the day and started doing all the stuff I need to (breakfast, coffee, housework) and he woke up at 4:50, he took out the trash and acted like he had done too much too early. Why is my job less important?

 

[DharmaGirl]

It isn't, and don't convince yourself it is. You matter! Your job is much harder than his, as he only has to go to a job and have breaks, come home and tell you he already worked. You, on the other hand, get no breaks and work all day and are on call all night for the baby. If you can change how you perceive yourself, and start setting a few boundaries with him, he will start respecting what you do. (Maybe, lol) Maybe you could say, I've worked since 3:30 am, I'm taking some time for myself, I will be back in an hour. And leave. Go for a walk, visit a neighbor, just take some time for you alone.

 

[Recovery4Me]

w how to drive and every time I ask my husband for a lesson he has a really good excuse why he can't teach me.

Perhaps a nice arrangement might be to find a driver ed course, pay for it with your check and have a babysitter take care of your pride and joy during those lessons. All of a sudden your 'small' job just opened a few doors. We've come a long way baby...get that license! :tup:

 

[The Albatross]

I think that I'd have a conversation about the perception he has about your job. He could be thinking in terms of financial contribution, however this is not a reason for him to use to refuse to assist with either parenting or partnership time.

I'd ask him, frankly what is going on with him and be prepared to listen with an open mind. Sometimes, with my spouse, it isn't about me... it's something going on with him.

P.S. In your field or not, congratulations on rejoining employment and I'm glad that you find your job and coworkers friendly. You will likely change and grow... and another job, as you regain your confidence may be in your future!

 

[Dragonfly-Dawn]

Congratulations @Autumn76 on the job! That's awesome!! :woot:

I am a mom as well and I just got my license. My husband had similar reasons and it seemed like I wasn't going to get driving any time soon. So I signed up for a drivers training program like @Recovery4Me had mentioned. I highly recommend it. It gave me an slotted time I knew for sure I'd be getting on the road with a professional. They were amazing working around my kids' schedule. The instructor made me feel so secure and much much much more confident in my driving.

Your job is important. All of the hard work you do as a mom is important. I hope you have an awesome day!

~Dragonfly

 

[shimmerz]

I told him I did too and he said but your job is so small.

I don't know that this is about the job so much as his attitude towards you. I had a husband that did this to me. It didn't work out well for him....

 

[scout86]

It actually might be a lot easier learning to drive from someone you're NOT married to. For a lot of reasons.

I'll second what @The Albatross said. Have that talk with him. It's easy to assume that "we" are the source of all problems, but that's not always the case. His attitude doesn't sound helpful, regardless of where it comes from.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Congratulations on getting a job. I am still looking for something that I am qualified to do.

I second getting proffessional driving lessons to get your liscence. When I got mine at nineteen years old it became my new freedom. I am confident that you can do this too. Many hugs.

 

[Autumn76]

Perhaps a nice arrangement might be to find a driver ed course, pay for it with your check and have...

I have looked into the drivers ed course, the nearest one of 30 minutes away and no one can drive me to it, but thank you very much that was a good idea :)

 

[Autumn76]

I think that I'd have a conversation about the perception he has about your job. He could be think...

Thank you. I'll try that tonight.

 

[Autumn76]

I don't know that this is about the job so much as his attitude towards you. I had a husband th...

It's getting ready to not work out well for mine also.

 

[Autumn76]

It actually might be a lot easier learning to drive from someone you're NOT married to. For a lot of rea...

We don't talk anymore, well not about anything important. The past couple of months he tells me about things he's watched on YouTube, part of a video game, or a stupid comic blood and usually when I'm doing something I enjoy but he plays video games or watches youtube when I'm not doing anything at all just sitting there and watching him.