katieann13
New Here
Hi everyone, I'm sorry this post is going to be very long! It's also my first post here. :) I hope this is in the right section!
I met the guy I'm talking to (he's 22) on a dating app back in February. I joined because I've never had a boyfriend and wanted to just talk to people. We talked like 1-2 times a week or so and it was nothing serious at all. After about a month of this, I wanted to delete my account (there were a lot of creepy guys on there), so I created an account on a messaging app because I didn't want to give him my number yet.
We talked like that for another month, usually a few times a week. Our conversations were still, for the most part, not anything super serious. Once I felt comfortable enough talking to him and it got a little more serious, I gave him my number. For over a month we talked every single day, sometimes throughout the entire day. For the last month or so, our communication has drastically gone down. We haven't met yet because now that I'm home from college for summer break we're over an hour apart (and I don't drive and I think he shares a car with a parent). So since phone communication is kind of our only option at this point, it matters a lot. Before I left college to go home, we had been talking about meeting, but never got the chance.
It seems like he's been going through a lot recently with his family. He got out of the marines a year ago and recently told me he has PTSD from a tour in Afghanistan. I have C-PTSD (from other events) and my older brother is also a USMC vet with severe combat PTSD... So I understand that he is going through a lot and that might be why he isn't really talking.
I noticed that he's kind of slow to open up about things (I mean we've been talking since Feb. and he just told me in late June he went to Afghanistan, so...) and I think he pushes people away. Occasionally he also won't respond to texts for a while. I'll only send him one or two during that time period and then wait for him to contact me because I don't want to seem overbearing and clingy. I once told him when someone doesn't respond to a text it makes me think they're not interested in me or talking to me, and he said it's not that he's not interested, it's just that he's busy. But it's hard because I already have ZERO experience with dating and everything I was ever told was "If he doesn't like you, he'll stop answering you."
Last week we didn't talk at all and he had posted something on facebook that concerned me, so I texted him asking how he was doing. No response. Then a few days later he responds saying he's been "caught up in everything else" which is why he didn't respond. It makes me feel like I've become a backup plan. I texted him saying I care about him and that if and when he ever wants to talk, I'm around. I also said I'm going back to school soon if he'd still want to meet. I didn't get a response.
I've read enough posts to know this is relatively normal. But it's so hard when you've grown to care about someone and as soon as you do, they push you away. He's the only guy I've never tried to push away and it's hard now that it's happening to me. A few weeks ago I had posted something kinda sad on social media and he texted me like immediately asking if I was okay (which was odd because he had been ignoring my texts asking the same thing...). So I'd assume he still cares about me to some extent...
Most people I talk to seem to think this is a lost cause. Is it? Should I keep trying? I know I should keep my options open, but it seemed like we were on a path towards something really great a month ago. He said he wants to see what the future holds for us just three weeks ago. But right now I'm not sure if there will be one at all for us. :(
I met the guy I'm talking to (he's 22) on a dating app back in February. I joined because I've never had a boyfriend and wanted to just talk to people. We talked like 1-2 times a week or so and it was nothing serious at all. After about a month of this, I wanted to delete my account (there were a lot of creepy guys on there), so I created an account on a messaging app because I didn't want to give him my number yet.
We talked like that for another month, usually a few times a week. Our conversations were still, for the most part, not anything super serious. Once I felt comfortable enough talking to him and it got a little more serious, I gave him my number. For over a month we talked every single day, sometimes throughout the entire day. For the last month or so, our communication has drastically gone down. We haven't met yet because now that I'm home from college for summer break we're over an hour apart (and I don't drive and I think he shares a car with a parent). So since phone communication is kind of our only option at this point, it matters a lot. Before I left college to go home, we had been talking about meeting, but never got the chance.
It seems like he's been going through a lot recently with his family. He got out of the marines a year ago and recently told me he has PTSD from a tour in Afghanistan. I have C-PTSD (from other events) and my older brother is also a USMC vet with severe combat PTSD... So I understand that he is going through a lot and that might be why he isn't really talking.
I noticed that he's kind of slow to open up about things (I mean we've been talking since Feb. and he just told me in late June he went to Afghanistan, so...) and I think he pushes people away. Occasionally he also won't respond to texts for a while. I'll only send him one or two during that time period and then wait for him to contact me because I don't want to seem overbearing and clingy. I once told him when someone doesn't respond to a text it makes me think they're not interested in me or talking to me, and he said it's not that he's not interested, it's just that he's busy. But it's hard because I already have ZERO experience with dating and everything I was ever told was "If he doesn't like you, he'll stop answering you."
Last week we didn't talk at all and he had posted something on facebook that concerned me, so I texted him asking how he was doing. No response. Then a few days later he responds saying he's been "caught up in everything else" which is why he didn't respond. It makes me feel like I've become a backup plan. I texted him saying I care about him and that if and when he ever wants to talk, I'm around. I also said I'm going back to school soon if he'd still want to meet. I didn't get a response.
I've read enough posts to know this is relatively normal. But it's so hard when you've grown to care about someone and as soon as you do, they push you away. He's the only guy I've never tried to push away and it's hard now that it's happening to me. A few weeks ago I had posted something kinda sad on social media and he texted me like immediately asking if I was okay (which was odd because he had been ignoring my texts asking the same thing...). So I'd assume he still cares about me to some extent...
Most people I talk to seem to think this is a lost cause. Is it? Should I keep trying? I know I should keep my options open, but it seemed like we were on a path towards something really great a month ago. He said he wants to see what the future holds for us just three weeks ago. But right now I'm not sure if there will be one at all for us. :(
