My History With Trauma

[Wolfe076]

update,
about 1 week ago i was prescribed an 'anti depressant' i was advised that for the first few days my anxiety and stress would be heightened before calming,

anyway i started to experience flashback dreams, not of my episodes of trauma but a while before my motorbike accident,
had the same dream 3 night running in which i pester my mother for the deposit for the bike (which actually happened) then last night my dream was way back at residential school in which i was climbing a very narrow (less than 8 inches) circular staircase without a handrail only at the top there was supernatural activity very ghostly, and seemed to never be able to reach the top!

anyone shed any light on this ?

 

[Friday]

Welcome to the Forums :)

First piece... My first run through PTSD, in the beginning, all my symptoms were normal. "Everyone" had them. (Not everyone, but everyone I was around). It wasn't anything to fuss over, it was something to sort out & drive on. Okay. No worries. Later, going through some really classic BS on my own? First off, didn't realize it was PTSD, secondly it was just more of the same. Sort what you can & drive on. 5 years of serious chaos ensue, but in my mind, it's just business as usual. Eventually? Symptom redux down to about nil. Wasn't anyone in my life to be bothered, and I wasn't bothered, so hey. There we go. The entire process was just life, doing its thing.

Fast Forward 10 or 15 years, and shazaam. New trauma, and I'm hit like a freight train with old trauma.

Cause that's what PTSD does.

This time? Yeah. There are people in my life who are bothered. Worse, I'm bothered, cause I recognize this being the same BS I thought I'd sorted. I'm not young, and single, and extremely busy not dying, thanks, so the whole thing hits me like a ton of bricks. That a train smashes into. And a water tower falls over on. And electrical lines fall down on. And...you get the drift ;)

To me, that's what your story reminds me of. You had symptoms back when... But you were a little bit busy at the time. Now? What in blazes is all this *old* stuff doing cropping up again?

Well. That's PTSD. It's a cyclic mother. New trauma or stressors yank old trauma up by the throat.

 

[Friday]

Second piece

about 1 week ago i was prescribed an 'anti depressant' i was advised that for the first few days my anxiety and stress would be heightened before calming,

anyway i started to experience flashback dreams, not of my episodes of trauma but a while before my motorbike accident,

Meds do this to me, sometimes. They break down walls I have in place and either let me feel things I thought had safely buried, or they increase symptoms instead of decrease symptoms.

Talk to your doc. This maaaaaaaay be something to ride out, or this may be something you want to nip right quick, but in either case? They really need to know its happening.

 

[notsurewheretoturn]

Welcome to the forum.

I think you will find that most of us had a period of being 'normal' following our traumas, sometimes months, sometimes years. We can be symptomatic and not realise it until we look back and think 'oh yeah! Thats why I was doing that/behaving that way.' PTSD can sort of leap out at you unawares, even when you know you have it and you think you can deal with it. Suddently SMACK! It has you again.

The conversations you are having in you head. Yep been there too, also the other way around when I thought I was only thinking something and actually said it. That was embarrasing! Thankfully my friends are used to it now and casually remind me when I haven't said anything or when I've lost track of their question part way through the asking.

This forum is wonderful for support because everyone on here has PTSD in their lives, either as a sufferer or a supporter and you will find loads of sound advice.

There is a really good post about the stress cup and how PTSD affects your own stress cup, its well worth a read.

 

[Wolfe076]

well the inevitable has happened, just discovered my partner of 8 years has been/is having an affair ! my only crime is that when feeling low i tend to be quiet and withdrawn, there was no warning of this no 'we need to talk about our relationship' moment no nothing.
Now this has cut me up badly, i am 150 miles away from friends and family and feel so alone and despondent,
don't think i could ever trust a woman again.

 

[Stickler]

Oh no! I am so sorry.