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Numbing & Depersonalization Work

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So am I understanding that depersonalisations is like being present in body, but not in mind, emotion, etc? Sorta being there, but not really thinking or feeling what's going on around you like as if you were in a fog?
 
I have to admit, I'm still confused about the difference between dissociating and depersonalizing.

The one thing I understand to be different is that in depersonalizing the individual feels as if they are standing on the outside of themselves looking in. Whereas in dissociating, the individual goes into that "other" world in which they numb themselves out and cut themselves off from outside stimuli (dissociating I'm familiar with because I do it).

I guess I'm confused because it seems like the original question has more to do with dissociation than depersonalization. Especially if the main "ingredient" (so to speak) is "numbing out".
 
Depersonalization is a type of dissociation (so is derealization). I prefer to lump all such experiences under the umbrella term of dissociation, because whatever it feels like, it is an escape from a normal state of consciousness.

Jon G. Allen has an excellent description of the range of dissociation in his book Coping with Trauma. It is summarized in an article about trauma available on the Menninger Clinic's Web site, and I am including a lengthy excerpt here. I made more paragraph breaks for clarification.


"Dissociation is an automatic, self-protective alteration of consciousness in the face of overwhelming stress, a form of mental flight. Although dissociation mentally removes you from painful experience, it can undermine your functioning when it develops into a habitual way of coping with anxiety or stress.

"The most common form of dissociation is dissociative detachment: feeling disconnected from yourself or the outer world, for example, in a trance-like or dream-like state. Dissociative detachment can be contrasted with alert consciousness, being flexibly aware of what’s going on outside of you as well as inside of you. Mild detachment involves being very absorbed in something—a movie, a book, or a daydream. Being absorbed in one activity, you’re detached from all else (e.g., you might not even hear your name being called). Such absorption is healthy and necessary for creative activity. Problematic dissociative detachment involves feelings of unreality.

"Depersonalization involves feelings of unreality regarding your sense of self. You may feel you’re on autopilot, you’re an actor in a play, you’re disconnected from your body, or you’re observing yourself from outside of your body.

Derealization involves a sense that the outer world is not real. You may feel as if other persons are actors in a play or as if you’re looking at the world through a tunnel.

Extreme detachment involves feeling as if you’re gone, in the blackness, or in a void—completely unaware. Some persons can sit and stare for hours, not being aware of time passing. When you’re very detached, you may have trouble remembering what you’ve said or done; you have not encoded it well into memory and therefore cannot retrieve it.

"Another form of dissociation is compartmentalization. Some persons develop dissociative amnesia for frightening or stressful events; they’re blocked from consciousness but, with time and effort, can be remembered. Some persons experience fugues during which they lose their sense of identity and memory for their past and travel to another place—again, recovering their memory and sense of identity with time and effort.

Dissociative identity disorder involves changes in sense of identity and engaging in uncharacteristic behavior (e.g., childlike or aggressive behavior) coupled with amnesia for behavior in dissociative states. Treatment of dissociative compartmentalization involves helping the individual to have the stressful memories and emotions in mind rather than having to compartmentalize them by amnesia.

"PTSD and dissociation overlap, and some clinicians consider flashbacks to be a form of dissociation—they involve altered consciousness and detachment from current reality. Thus grounding techniques are helpful in coping with dissociation and PTSD symptoms. These techniques (e.g., holding ice, squeezing an object, walking around in the fresh air, talking to someone) draw your attention to current reality by heightening your sensory awareness."
 
Interesting way to explain it. I know I have often felt as if I were in a fog. Aware of what was going on, but everything during that time is sort of a blur. Most recently following the death of my boyfriend. I was able to do my job at work, but how, I have no idea....
 
My understanding is that there are two main types of dissociation: depersonalization (outside of your body or you not feeling real in some way) and derealisation (the world seems unreal), both are some form of feeling detached or distanced from reality. Then there's dissociative identity disorder (splitting into different identities) and DDNOS for people who don't fit any of the above. So depersonalisation is a type of dissociation but not all dissociation is depersonalisation.

My experience of dissociation doesn't fit any of the categories, I feel very far away but more deep within myself than outside of my body. Sometimes I can't talk, or, if I can my speech will be slow and my response delayed as I have a really hard time pulling thoughts out of my head, I can never make eye contact, I may not be able to move, sometimes the world 'flattens' a bit (the dimensions and distance between objects is less clear), sometimes my hearing and sight is effected (ie tunnel vision, things becoming blurry, muffled sound, lights are darker), I might be too hot or cold. In a lot of ways I think it's similar to shock.

The things I've found to help are: trying to relax muscles rather than holding on, positive self-talk (you're okay, you're okay), gradually trying to raise my gaze from the floor, naming objects I can see, breathing deeply into my belly from my nose, drawing attention to sensations (where by body touches the chair, sensations of hot or cold). If I can move I'll try to change positions, flex muscles, put on or take off a layer of clothing (sometimes feeling hot or cold will pull myself back), eating or drinking something, having a bath.
 
"Depersonalization involves feelings of unreality regarding your sense of self. You may feel you’re on autopilot, you’re an actor in a play, you’re disconnected from your body, or you’re observing yourself from outside of your body."

That is exactly what it feels like for me. I don't mind dissociating, I even welcome/like it at times, but the depersonalization feels a little bizarre and scary I think.
 
Well put, Jadebear! That is it for me exactly! I especially hate catching a glimpse of myself in the mirror and having a new shock each time as a stranger is looking back at me. I keep wondering just where I went...and when I'm coming back.
 
I have varying degrees of dissociation and get confused as to whether it is sometimes more than dissociation.

I have mild dissociation often, often doing things in automatic robot mode, or doing things and not concentrating on it at all. I don't mind those times, it keeps the anxiety down and I can function. I'm often in a midly dissociative state in therapy and my T can see this.

I also have times when I am numb, numb to anything around me and numb even talking about trauma's. At the moment I swing between that and high anxiety/aggitation. That's why I'm not seroquel.

And I also have times when I am in a foggy, blurry state and everything around me is fuzzy and I'm not connected to it at all and that is scary. I can't function or drive in that state. This usually follows a very distressed state or anxiety attack.
 
I think I am back in my body. I feel like I am. I'm protecting myself too much from the outside world because I don't know how to operate these boundaries and I only want good experiences. I know this is avoidance but I want to keep this relaxed feeling. I'm willfully dissociating in order to ignore the fact that I know I can't avoid forever? :confused:

I'm sat in the drivers seat and I'm closing my eyes and giving myself a hug. Because I like having the car and sitting in the seat and I don't want to prang it.
 
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