Best Books To Read

[hippieatheart]

I'm not sure where this belongs. In New to the site and still learning. But I was wondering if anybody had any recommendations on books I can read until I get up enough guts to go to a therapist.

My background.

Married for 20 years to someone who was verbally mentally emotionally abusive. When I finally left he tried to rape and kill me. Ended up he shot and killed himself in front of me.

And how to deal with the needs of my grown son and young son and the after math of their dad committing suicide

Thankyou

 

[theshadowoftheliving]

Oh man. I'm so sorry.

But welcome.

I like Bessell VanDer Kolk's The Body Keeps The Score. So informative, accessible, but also scientific.

And of course, I'd encourage you to attend therapy ...

 

[hippieatheart]

Oh man. I'm so sorry.

But welcome.

I like Bessell VanDer Kolk's The Body Keeps The Sc...

Thank you so much. I really really want therapy soon. My anxieties and fears are the biggest hurdles keeping me from it right now

 

[Jessee]

Up until now I have just been eavesdropping on this sight and that has been very helpful just knowing that I am not alone. I haven't heard any experiences like mine but hopefully I can get a response that will help me just the same.. Short version... I was holding my dog in a bear hug and when I looked over my shoulder there was my cousins dog, who is normally submissive to mine, come charging like never before. It scared the shit out of me. I tried to protect my dog by shielding him and I stupidly bit the other dog which made me a part of the fight. All of my memories after seeing him charge us are just like a dream but by what other people have told me, I am sure they are real memories. Did I mention they were at least 68 pound pit bulls ? Please no bad comments about the dogs. There were a lot of circumstances and it wasn't their fault I got involved. My dog did lock on my arm but he was confused and he didn't even break the skin. He let go as soon as my friend choked out the other dog and it released. My arms and wrists were all messed up. Now I am not afraid of dogs at all but I am afraid of them fighting with my dog. I use to go to dog beach, bark park, 2 hour walks cuz my dog goes everywhere with me; he's my baby. Now I don't hardly even go home. I take care of my 90 yr old mom but I never leave her house. Well, I rarely leave. I can honestly say that since February, when it happend, I have not gone 30 minutes in a row without thinking about it. It has changed my life in every way. I am so stuck and need to get out of being scared. I have always been stupidly brave if anything and I can't deal with being a scaredy cat. If somebody could direct me to a book or some other self help idea I would forever be grateful. I can't really afford a therapist but if it doesn't get better I guess I will have to. I can't live like this. Thank you for being here. I am sorry if I posted this in the wrong place. I just needed to blurt it out.

 

[Truthful_Whispers]

Not about PTSD directly, but An Unquiet Mind is a good book. It is about bipolar illness, which often accompanies post traumatic.

 

[Friday]

Handbook of PTSD, Science & Practice, 2nd edition.




Dead Link Removed

 

[Crow]

These are a little off but have helped me more than any other books.
Waking the Tiger
Living in the Borderland
Extreme Self Care
If I Can Forgive, So Can You

 

[Rumors]

I don't have any books to suggest but I just wanted to say that I am really sorry that you had to go through that. Your husband must have had a lot of issues. I think it is important to remember that his issues don't have to be yours. If you have apprehension about going to therapy you might tell yourself that you are really doing it for your kids. No way do any of us have the intricate knowledge of how to maneuver through that type of incident without the help of a professional. It is important that you be all you can be for your kids and garnering knowledge to help them is not shameful or wrong. You would be doing it for your kids so that you can better help them. If you happened to find some peace too, great. I think you would regret down the road not going.
Another way I like to think about it is if you travel to a strange city, do you go without GPS or a map? You can stop at gas stations along the way and ask for directions but it takes twice as long and you may end up lost anyway. When you go through something that traumatic, you need a GPS! All the therapist does is help point you in the right direction and give you the tools you need to enter into your GPS like an address. There is no shame in using tools to help you through...
Sending loads of strength your way to make that call.... You don't have to live with your husbands bad choices.

 

[Truthful_Whispers]

Some personal favorites..

 

[watundah]

Hippie, my heart goes out to you. I am glad that you're here.

Most of the books Ive read were based on childhood trauma. However, as mentioned, Van der Kolk's is a good one.

As for therapy, it is a slow gradual process and you control the pace. Time to invest and take good care of yourself . It is scary now but the therapist will welcome you and help you settle in.

 

[hippieatheart]

Thank you everyone

 

[Jessee]

This is to hippieatheart.
I am so sorry for interrupting your forum conversation Wednesday. I didn't do it on purpose and I didn't even realize until right now what I did. I was butt hurt that nobody answered my cry for help and when I looked at the posts I saw that you - just like me - was asking for help first. That was very rude of me and self absorbed. Please forgive me. I am new to this and I don't even know if you will see my apology; but I hope you do. Thank you and I will remember that their are other people on this sight other than myself. This is also for the others that were in the forum. I sincerely apologize for jumping in and it won't happen again.