How Do You Think?

[sun seeker]

The idea for this thread came up as a tangent off another thread.

What is going on inside your head when you think? For instance, do you think in pictures, words, impulses, as a running commentary in your head? Something else? If there was a time before your PTSD, has the way you think changed since then? Particularly of interest (to me) if you have developmental trauma, do you think that has any impact on how you think?

For instance, my thoughts take a few different forms. When I am more open and in the flow, just letting things come to me, my thoughts often involve pictures. When I am in a more "just get routine things done" mode, thoughts are more in the form of impulses (do this, do that... no need for enough brain power to form words or pictures).

At other times, and this is what got me thinking about the topic of thoughts as they may relate to developmental trauma, I have a running monologue going on in my head, but it's not "me to myself" but "me to another person." I imagine an audience for my thoughts as I develop and process them in words. Always a real person, not always the same person. It occurred to me to wonder whether this is just a quirk of mine or part of the need in developmental trauma to externalize.

Any thoughts on thinking? :-)

 

[scout86]

It occurred to me to wonder whether this is just a quirk of mine or part of the need in developmental trauma to externalize.

I don't know the answer to that. (But that's never stopped me before!) I keep hearing that people "need" to be heard and to share. I suppose, if no one listened to you much, you might do this more, to try to make up the difference. But, like I said in the other thread, my T seems to think this is "normal". And I do it too. (Not that that means it's "normal"!) Another thing he's told me is that it's good to "practice" having conversations with people and this is exactly the way he said to do that.

Like I said in the other thread, he & I have talked about this a lot. As it happens, I can't, exactly "see" pictures in my head. (He would want me to say "yet", because I'm working on it.) When he told me that lots of people think in pictures (which he did), I thought he was making it up. I've asked a few people and it turns out it's try.

I get tired of the whole "running conversation" thing. I have another way of thinking that he says is probably kinesthetic. When trying to figure out how to trim a horse's hoof, for example, I look at what's there and wait, and then "what I need to do" just kind of shows up in my head. Not in a picture and not in words, I just "know" what I need to do. I really enjoy this version of thought a lot more than the conversations.

 

[shimmerz]

It is like an angel sitting on my shoulder, attempting to guide me. The counterpart is like a personal trainer sitting on my other shoulder, attempting to make me see how much better I should be doing. The neutral part is the one that is attempting to cool down my personal trainer. To calm down the expectations that it throws at me with great consistency.

It isn't in pictures or words. It is more like a 'knowing'. It doesn't feel separate from me, but instead a part of me.

I don't have evil twisted beings on my shoulder telling me to do evil and twisted things. I do, however, have a 'protector' who is constantly looking at ways that I should'a would's could'a protected myself better.

Hmmm, great question.

 

[sun seeker]

I suppose, if no one listened to you much, you might do this more, to try to make up the difference.

Right... it makes it safe. My imagined listener is always a very good listener. :-)

 

[sun seeker]

The neutral part is the one that is attempting to cool down my personal trainer.

So what form do the neutral part's thoughts take? Still a knowing, no words?

 

[shimmerz]

So what form do the neutral part's thoughts take?

No, this is based on words. Usually Ho'ponopono to drown out the incessant 'do BETTER' crap that my personal trainer spews out. I suppose because it is a cognitive process and decision on my part to tone down the personal trainer.

I wonder if we can actually figure out how long these 'voices' have been around based on the verbal/non verbal aspect of them? Great questions.

 

[sun seeker]

I wonder if we can actually figure out how long these 'voices' have been around based on the verbal/non verbal aspect of them?

Yes... I was wondering about the neutral part that does ho'oponopono. For you to have a part that could decide to do that, it must have existed before you learned about ho'oponopono. What did it do before that?

I can remember having a part that did a running commentary from when I was... hmmm... I'd say not more than six. Sort of an observer/commentator. At the time, the commentary was sometimes out loud and might get comments from others in return, but there was no intent of a conversation inherent in the commentary. After some time, I learned to keep the commentary in my head. I don't recall at what age I started imagining an audience. I have to go for a walk. I'll be thinking about it. :-)

 

[sun seeker]

Sort of an observer/commentator. At the time, the commentary was sometimes out loud and might get comments from others in return, but there was no intent of a conversation inherent in the commentary.

Just realized, as soon as I wrote that... when I think about most small children I know, they are very talkative and want an audience for their commentary and someone to engage with them as they explore the world. Just part of being a kid. They engage others as listeners/reflectors. If I learned not to do that but use an imaginary audience for my commentary... well, that says something.

 

[shimmerz]

What did it do before that?

It asked questions like 'who am I really', 'why am I here', 'what can I do to help others', 'how can I make someone's day/week/month/year/life, a little bit better'.

This part has pulled in its tentacles and is no longer focusing on how others can be aided. It recognizes that it has no purpose ever again if it cannot aid its host (me).

 

[DogwoodTree]

Which thread sparked this question? I love trying to figure out how people think...

I have several layers of thought going most of the time, not just a single track. There might be verbal, like talking to myself, but I'm actually talking to representations of people in my head, kind of like avatars. I don't actually hear them speak back, but I do get impressions of what they intend to communicate back. This isn't, like, schizophrenia voices...I know all of these thoughts are mine. It's just...having thoughts from other people's perspectives, as if those people were involved in this internal dialog with me. (My T says this is a form of dissociation.)

And then I also think in pictures. This is much faster and more complex than the verbal thinking...it's difficult to translate these thoughts into words. The thoughts might be pictures or videos of actual things, or of things and situations and ideas that I've only imagined.

I also think kinesthetically...like, the MOVEMENT involved in ideas. It's hard to explain, but I can try again if that doesn't intuitively make sense to you.

All of these layers can (and often are) going at the same time, and don't necessarily have to be about the same topic. When I'm around people, the verbal thought tends to fade out, which is part of why communication is so difficult for me--I find I have to rely on intuitive communication instead of communicating verbal thoughts, and that's difficult to manage if I'm not sure what's about to come out. When I'm writing, though, the verbal part is still active.

I've done some reading on all of this, and informally interviewed several people around me about how they think. There's a huge variety across the spectrum of verbal vs. visual thinking. I have a friend who doesn't think visually at all...only verbally. I've found that most people can think visually, but very few can easily manipulate the images in their minds, and even fewer seem to think in videos rather than still pictures. Those who think verbally tend to use a single train of verbal thought rather than having conversations with people in their minds, and even people who do think in conversations don't tend to do it very often (among the people I've interviewed, which, of course, is a very limited sample).

 

[Chincho]

I have a constant conversation with myself in my head. I talk and answer as if I were two different people. That conversation is nonstop.

When I have to concentrate on something, I picture that thing on my head and comment about it with myself. I also picture things going wrong or different from what I expect whenever I have to do something.

For example, if I have to feed the dog I picture the food and her bowl, and while I'm getting the food I tell myself how much I should give her. At the same time I picture the food falling and what I would have to do if that happened.

Now that I wrote that out, I think I understand why I always say my brain feels tired!

 

[sun seeker]

Which thread sparked this question?

The one on the Steinberg depersonalization test that @Lizio posted.