Neverthesame
Diamond Member
@Anrish One of the downsides of living in North America, the pickup truck.
Often driven by some guy who wears a suit and tie, who has never put anything in the back of the thing heavier than the weeks shopping.
Yet for some reason, has the thing fitted with a massive heavy duty off road chassis, shocks, big tires that throw boulders at the poor fool behind him on the road, shattering windscreens left and right. If all that wasn't enough, straight pipe exhaust so loud the deaf are covering their ears, piping out black diesel exaust so thick the birds are bouncing off the column of inky blackness.
What could possibly be worse you ask? Simple.
Attached to the front and top and sides of the rolling monstrosity, a dozen or more xenon spotlights brighter than a hundred suns all aligned to be glaring in the face of everyone in front of the beast, no matter what lane you happen to be occupying. Anyone foolish enough to stare directly at it, is instantly blinded. Everyone else is desperately applying SPF 10,000 sunscreen. Trees on the roadside that weren't blown down by the noise, burst into flames from the lights. Unless of course it's foggy out, then the lights go out. Forcing the other road users to use echolocation to try to figure out where this guy will appear, like an obnoxious phantom of the mist. (Usually after failing to yield, or yielding at a merge lane).
The terror of this menace is becoming clear, yes?
Fear not, for the beast has a weakness. When even the slightest amount of snow begins to dust the ground. Even the slightest of curves in the road will send the beast spinning into the nearest ditch. As for some reason having a gilded 4X4 emblazoned on every panel of the thing, doesn't make you a better driver.
After the first snow, when all has once again become quiet, you can hear the soft cries of anguish on the wind. As the 4X4 guy calls his insurance company and hears the cursed words, that will haunt him for the rest of his days.
Liability only...
Often driven by some guy who wears a suit and tie, who has never put anything in the back of the thing heavier than the weeks shopping.
Yet for some reason, has the thing fitted with a massive heavy duty off road chassis, shocks, big tires that throw boulders at the poor fool behind him on the road, shattering windscreens left and right. If all that wasn't enough, straight pipe exhaust so loud the deaf are covering their ears, piping out black diesel exaust so thick the birds are bouncing off the column of inky blackness.
What could possibly be worse you ask? Simple.
Attached to the front and top and sides of the rolling monstrosity, a dozen or more xenon spotlights brighter than a hundred suns all aligned to be glaring in the face of everyone in front of the beast, no matter what lane you happen to be occupying. Anyone foolish enough to stare directly at it, is instantly blinded. Everyone else is desperately applying SPF 10,000 sunscreen. Trees on the roadside that weren't blown down by the noise, burst into flames from the lights. Unless of course it's foggy out, then the lights go out. Forcing the other road users to use echolocation to try to figure out where this guy will appear, like an obnoxious phantom of the mist. (Usually after failing to yield, or yielding at a merge lane).
The terror of this menace is becoming clear, yes?
Fear not, for the beast has a weakness. When even the slightest amount of snow begins to dust the ground. Even the slightest of curves in the road will send the beast spinning into the nearest ditch. As for some reason having a gilded 4X4 emblazoned on every panel of the thing, doesn't make you a better driver.
After the first snow, when all has once again become quiet, you can hear the soft cries of anguish on the wind. As the 4X4 guy calls his insurance company and hears the cursed words, that will haunt him for the rest of his days.
Liability only...
