What's All This Stuff About The Couch?

[blackemerald1]

I would discuss this much more thoroughly with your T., before agreeing to it. Don't listen to her reasons & feel forced to make a decision there & then. Tell her you will consider the idea & let her know. My Psych has a couch I used to sit on, but was always too hyper to lay down. Besides I asked him why he had such a comfy couch once. He told me he did marriage counseling & parent child counseling & it was useful in these areas. Fair enough, he did mention he did not want me laying on the couch anyway. See how she responds, it might be informative about her overall abilities.

 

[Panda Bear]

T has a comfy chair that is across and in the corner from his love seat. I make eye contact, when we initially start. I've never laid on the couch, though he did ask me one time if I wanted too, but it was In referenced to what we were talking about. Eye contact is tricky. I have it to start, but when I'm talking about hard stuff, I'll look out the window. A few weeks ago, I wouldn't talk and would only look at him....he told me maybe I should look out the window.....:O_o:

Anyways, I would never allow him to be out of my sight...never and if he did after 4 sessions, no chance in hell I'd ever return. But If it works for you, go for it!

 

[Seasounds]

I agree with the above, (@Black emerald), that the initiating motivation to lie on the couch is best to come from you-that you are interested to explore it, rather than interested to please your therapist.

From the background that many of us share (I.e. trauma in various forms) you will understand that moving out of our own volition-out of what we feel safe doing, (an external locust of control), is paramount to respect, in our healing.

Remember, in addition to talking about it with your therapist, if you do lie down, you can always, instantly, sit up and face your T.
Due to the power differential in the therapeutic relationship, where the client is not in the privileged (authority) position, it is good to be able to assume your own internal authority.

Lying down, relaxing, it is more passive; part of the 'protective ego' that we all have, takes a back seat. This can be helpful to release the amped-up hyper-vigilance, that many of us have, and it can be helpful in opening up the subconscious(-why Freud used it). And it makes us more vulnerable to injury.

To live 'in the balance' of enforcing or relaxing our boundaries, is a skillful task.

 

[Justmehere]

She said something about being able to "free associate" more. I can't shake the feeling that she's insecure about being face to face with people. Pretty odd for a therapist.

"Free association" is a psychoanalytic therapeutic technique. It's not about her insecurity of being face to face, but a very common therapeutic technique in that type of therapy.

It's not going to help me. Upon leaving, I didn't feel cleansed and "worked-out" the way I usually do after a good session.

Psychoanalytic therapy, and it's cousin, psycho-dynamic therapy, are effective for some people with some kinds of trauma, especially complex trauma. It takes considerable time, and it will not generally lead to the the instant physical somatic kind of relief you were used to when doing more somatically based kinds of therapy. Sometimes psychodynamic therapy can be very good at internal integration, with or without dissociation.

If catharsis is what you are seeking, there are a lot of studies done that show that catharsis alone feels really good but doesn't lead to much long term lasting change.

It makes sense to seek out what has been working for you in the past - the somatic relief that helps your symptoms so much.

There is a pattern though of you going to therapists who are "squeamish," or seem that way. You are ready to jump in deep, and the therapist does one thing or another that you feel isn't jumping into the work deep. In this case, psychoanalytic/dynamic therapist would generally find that the couch would be the path to going deeper, not being more superficial.

This may or may not be the type of therapy for you, but either way, I hope you discuss it with her and jump in deep to telling her very clearly what works, what doesn't work, and ask her more about her methods and how they can or can not help your PTSD symptoms.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I totally missed that this was only 4 sessions! My therapist had no clue for a year, going to him every week, why i was really there. I look away on my own more due to shame i think. I spend an hr a week with the only person on tbis planet i trust and never look at him and if he bends to try to meet my eyes o can only do it for a sec then look away again and if its something i feel super shame about i look out the window which is behind the couch. I sit sideways on the couch but i do t lay down; i would feel super odd laying down. I started sitting like that due to needing my right leg not bent but usually now just curl up with one of his pillows. And i have to bebdoing something with my hands, i forgot what he called that but it usually involves ripping paper or the paper lining on the water bottle or once i ripped a hole in the bottle...he hit anger that day lol. I would only do, sit, talk about, etc only what you feel comfortable.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

This may or may not be the type of therapy for you, but either way, I hope you discuss it with her and jump in deep to telling her very clearly what works, what doesn't work, and ask her more about her methods and how they can or can not help your PTSD symptoms.

You sound like a therapist lol. This is what i was saying in the thread that was meant to scare people about EMDR advising it "re-wires your brain" (ive done EMDR & never had any "brain rewiring", just some flashbacks w/ my mom's voice etc buts thats expected when moving memories), anyway i advised ask ask ask, know your therapist; i know my therapist has 8 degrees, only got all 8 cuz his dad called him stupid and he's like "i'll show you", i know he has a daughter my exact age, just had his first grand daughter by invetro, that he has a different take on chriatianity tho he's christian (catholic; he doesnt believe in hell or demons; different than catholics ive talked to); he knows i hate priests, probably why he quotes them a lot about things i agree with, i think he does that because i grew up in a Satanist like cult from 12 - 18 but was being told it was chriatianity and they were talking to god and i believe it as much as i believe the sky is blue but at a very young age went to a very strict christian church where a pastor has sex with me so needless to say im VERY mixed up in the relgion area and one of his degrees is in theology and tho he works in a secular psychiatrist office he's listed as a pastoral counselor, LMHC working with my psychiatrist. I dont like her but luckly i dont talk to her much, she just gives me my anxiety med. We dont talk relgion much but it comes up due to my past. He quoted me scripture just once, about god loving you or something, how you are seen in god's eyes or something, only time i cried in his office. Rest of the time i choked back tears. Anyway, im rambling but my point is know your therapist, ask questions, ask about therapies, ask why the couch thing, make it known you dont want to and why, make your therapist tell you why and benefits to make you comfortable. EMDR didnt get brought up until about 5 yrs into seeing my therapist, by then i fully trusted him and we talked A LOT about it and he gave me sites to read about it at least 2 months before we did it. I freaked due to hearing my mom's voice & a flashback and he stopped right away, got me feeling safe again before we were done w/ the session and we havent done it again and he wants to again now but i think he was waiting for me to be more maybe more able to counter the brainwashing as when he tried to put a counting thought and said it with my eyes moving i wouldnt accept it. I started quoting my mom as i heard her in my head. He said that the brainwashing was done well. Anyway, my entire point to posting this is theres nothing wrong with asking and/or questioning especially when you dont feel comfortable as your therapist has to be the person you trust the most, or mine is to me anyway but at first i questioned everything, i trust him now and i do or at least put my entire effort into doing what he asks of me. He sent me here and though i was terrified to, i joined and glad i did. He sent me here as a virtual support group as he knows i can write what i cant say; and i read him a lot of my posts i create and some of the responses. He knows also writing when no one can read it doesnt help and he knows ive tried to join actual real life sexual abuse support groups but failed so he found this for me :) Also, he knows I identify more w/ kidnapped victims/suvivors and not so much w/ sexual abuse & incest victims/suvivors.

 

[Dana1010]

If catharsis is what you are seeking, there are a lot of studies done that show that catharsis alone feels really good but doesn't lead to much long term lasting change.

It makes sense to seek out what has been working for you in the past - the somatic relief that helps your symptoms so much.

Wow, @Justmehere, thanks for this insightful post. I didn't know that about catharsis not producing long term results. Isn't somatic experiencing a kind of catharsis? How does it differ from the kind of catharsis that is not effective in the long run?

 

[Chava]

Isn't somatic experiencing a kind of catharsis? How does it differ from the kind of catharsis that is not effective in the long run?

The very few SE videos you might see on Youtube maybe look like a one-time expulsion of trauma energy that is some kind of instant catharsis. I doubt that's likely even with one-time shock traumas. But at least for me, SE work has been a very gradual and gentle process of reconnecting to my body, learning about body info and cues, and reorganizing my nervous system through finding new ways to respond or ground myself...so the next time the charge either isn't quite as intense or I don't get sucked in so deep or fast. So it's more like a slow, long term transformation.

I don't personally believe in a quick catharsis because I've simply never felt it that way. If you feel relief session to session through talking or getting stuff out, that's probably still really important for you. But I also appreciate the idea that this alone might not be the full healing package.

Personally I've never done the couch thing, though I've laid on the floor. I actually don't make much eye contact with my therapist, so I doubt it would be so different for me. I do seem to tune into my body and be able to communicate what is going on if I am NOT looking directly at my therapist. Quite often I have my eyes closed. But I'm able to still feel in contact with her. If eye contact is important for you to feel connected, the couch option might just take some practice...or maybe just use for part of a session, or once in a while to vary things and see what happens.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

The very few SE videos you might see on Youtube maybe look like a one-time expulsion of trauma energy that...

I had to google these terms as mu therapist has never used therapy terms with me except EMDR and cong. behavioral therapy, i thought of it as just talking but now googling it i guess we do catharsis therapy; he asked how i felt then or how i think i felt then and how i feel now; with the brainwashing, i say something that i was made to, and still believe, and he makes me rationalize it, like in a court room, prove my theroy, and he counters it with more rational thoughts; then i have to prove my case against that and i generally end up in a circle. Hes trying to get me to see that what i was meant to believe isnt rational or right but un-brainwashing is HARD and SLOW and i compare it to trying to make you believe the sky isnt blue; any other color but light blue. Its diffict. Somatic we dont do; emotions, feelings, body...holistic, we've never done it likley cuz it wouldnt work on me. Im so selerated from it, so disconneted & numb to it, it wouldnt be able to connect the 2. He seems to change the therpy depending on me; where i am emotionally, how open or closed i am; how fragile i am, which feeling has seperated from the balled up group that i CAN pick out. But as to looking at him, i never do unless we are just talking about our week but when we talk about my past or anything hard he never gets eye contact with me and he watches my body language to tone up or down, to push or back off. Its a SLOW process but seems to be working some, i think.