Shadows In The Midst Of Flames

[The Albatross]

Reads like a lot of rolling with feelings/projection. What does your partner say?

 

[Ironlady]

The purpose of self examination is to stay grounded in knowledge and to resist rolling with what th...

Right now... Flight freeze mode. Worried, thoughts zinging everywhere and physically frozen. Shut off from everyone in my bedroom. Depressed.

 

[The Albatross]

Feelings are not necessarily facts. The facts ma'am what are the facts?

 

[Ironlady]

Reads like a lot of rolling with feelings/projection. What does your partner say?

He won't talk to me right now.. He no longer tells me goodbye or that he loves me when he leaves for work or before bed. When I tried talking to him about it he seems to understand and acts like he does but his actions are confusing me like he is punishing me. Projecting I'm sure on my part.

 

[The Albatross]

Isolating is "self preservation" but can you see how the maladaptive behavior is interfering with your partnership?

 

[The Albatross]

Can an "equal" partner really punish? Or is it your own default hardwiring?

 

[The Albatross]

Sounds to me that if you can write out the cues... and challenge them in self examination ya'll need to reconnect via communication about where you are and what you are doing on your recovery and that you are missing the cues that your are valued in your relationship.

Not an easy thing but doable. Better than where you are right now?

 

[Ironlady]

Feelings are not necessarily facts. The facts ma'am what are the facts?

the facts are..

Feelings are not necessarily facts. The facts ma'am what are the facts?

I'm sorry.. I'm having a complete emotional override and breakdown at the moment. Maybe I should just go cry for awhile and come back later. I can't think very well.

 

[The Albatross]

Bring yourself back to THIS: "he seems to understand and acts like he does but his actions are confusing me".

 

[The Albatross]

Surely did not intend to emotionally flood you... just offering the perspective that was more beneficial in the longer term to me regarding relational issues.

 

[Ironlady]

Can an "equal" partner really punish? Or is it your own default hardwiring?

I don't know what equal is.. It's my own hardwiring. I only know what it is to be a doormat.

 

[The Albatross]

My mentors were weapons grade, but I needed that... to see my way clear to a more beneficial way of seeing things... away from my own self... thoughts/feelings... and toward what I really wanted more of, connection to my partner.