Sufferer Complex Ptsd

[Hurting]

Trying to find support from others who have Complex PTSD. Stemmed from childhood, first marriage to a psychopath. Second marriage it's to a wonderful man who says and does all the wrong things when I need support. Does anyone have any suggestions?

 

[Deleted member 28403]

have you tried talking to him more about it? As to what he is saying wrong, people are bad at reading minds precisely.

Also, I suggest you make a thread in introductions or ptsd relationships part, social is more for fun and similar :)

 

[Hurting]

Hello. I'm a married working woman with no children. My PTSD Stemmed from my childhood. My first marriage was to a psychopath (18 years). He committed suicide in front of hiss mother, father and sister. I'm now married to a wonderful man who "just doesn't get it". I'm hoping for support for both myself and him. Thank you for listening.

 

[Hurting]

Yes. He knows my triggers, yet can't seem to stop himself. I'm New here so posted ok the correct post last time. Thanks for your response.

 

[ladee]

Welcome to the site @Hurting. Please know you are welcome here and there is a lot of support here. Read around and see what all this has to offer. I did when I first got here a few months ago..... many great folks here, that give us a hand up when needed... hope to see you around.

 

[Ocean5]

You are very welcomed here. People will listen and not judge. And they actually understand... (nice change.)

PTSD from childhood. Father is a psychopath. Tried to commit suicide more times than I know. Among other things. I know my mom tried to protect me. She told me later - as did other relatives.

Maybe check out song Refugee by Melissa Etheridge "you don't have to live like a refugee" (no offense meant to refugee crisis, or people in it. We are all human.) May not make sense. Day after my mom passed away I felt she wanted me to listen to this song. Because we never discussed, but she knew I had very serious issues from youth.

 

[Renestel]

Hello. I'm a married working woman with no children. My PTSD Stemmed from my childhood. My first marriag...

Hi there-
I absolutely understand your frustration. My husband had a really hard time when my PTSD symptoms started really coming out of the box.
Do you feel comfortable getting more specific? I think we can give you better advice if we know what the biggest connection or support problems that are going on.
What I can give you advice that helped my husband- I went on Amazon and found a spouse support PTSD book for him that had high reviews and asked him to read it. I started really opening up to him on just how much goes on in my head, how some days you don't even want to get out of bed, why I do the things I do and just how much I've been through. Sometimes he just gets really quiet and unresponsive and I had to finally accept that you have to respect that they do that sometimes. Not all the time but this is a big thing that affects him now and he didn't go through it. Sometimes it hard for people to deal with. If none of that helps at all, I would suggest a therapist if you are seeing one talk to him, it's really helpful to hear a description of what you r going through from someone else sometimes. Otherwise even a marriage counselor could mediate and help as well. Hope that points you in some good directions.

 

[Hurting]

You are very welcomed here. People will listen and not judge. And they actually understand... (nice change)

Thank you for the welcome. I was terribly shy as a child and had lots of anxiety. My problem with my parents were that they were the children and I was the adult. Honestly, as long as I can remember I was the one who tried to stop the fighting. Once my mother called to me because she said my dad was killing her. I couldn't have been more than 3 or 4 years old. When it was over, she asked me why I didn't come to help her. Needles to say, guilt, guilt, guilt. Just one of countless incidents.

 

[Hurting]

Hi there-
I absolutely understand your frustration. My husband had a really hard time when my PTSD sym...

Thank you so much. It helps just to know that songwriting understands.

 

[Renestel]

Absolutely- as others have mentioned, this site is SO great...you get support here, understand or even just an ear to listen here when in your immediate environment there may not be one. Welcome and pats on the back to you for reaching out and finding it! :)

 

[Renestel]

"I was the one who tried to stop the fighting. Once my mother called to me because she said my dad was killing her. I couldn't have been more than 3 or 4 years old. When it was over, she asked me why I didn't come to help her. Needles to say, guilt, guilt, guilt. Just one of countless incidents."

That is so heartbreaking. I'm OBSESSED with psychology and while my traumas started at 12, I can empathize with you about how difficult it is to have to take an adult role when you are so young and never really get to live out "just being a kid". I know what I say isn't going to erase the past for you because I know from experience it's almost like its written in your skin in a way, but TRY to be gentle on yourself with your guilt for this. No mother should blame a 3 or 4 year old for not saving an adult from a very adult situation. That's just too much too ask. You're brain was literally still developing. How are you supposed to conceptualize and understand abuse? I'm so sorry. Big hugs to you and we are all "misfits" here. You are SO not alone.

 

[Hurting]

"I was the one who tried to stop the fighting. Once my mother called to me because she said my dad was...

Thank you for the kind words. I need too talk to someone who REALLY understands. I think that I have found them. So GREATFUL!