Goodbye!

[Deleted member 20978]

I don't believe you've threadjacked in the sense of veering away from the OP's topics. At least not in what I've seen. But you may be getting reactions (and suggestions) around the fact that you're telling a lot of details of a very intense story on topic threads rather than in a personal diary. I would second the suggestion of a diary, as I think you will actually get more consistent responses and no one will suggest you are hijacking anything. You do keep saying diaries aren't for you, but okay -- it is difficult to keep up with the details of your personal story alongside following others' posts on specific topics. I believe that is the only reason you've gotten flak, though I don't know what all has happened.

 

[Deleted member 28740]

@lostforgottensoul

What is thread hijacking then I don't know

Metaphor - OP driver in a car. Passenger takes over the driving and the route. Reply on personal level of course, not long personal narrative that moves the initial post intent. Or that the comments then are response to a participant.

Yes we share our narrative when we respond. New to posting and response is how I see this. This is a place to express, and share. Long journal type not connected to OP is varying the course of the OP thread.

I hope you stay, and get over the rant on Chava. Uncalled for terms used.

You are in pain and are we all. Working our way through. Especially about how relationships and boundaries work.

Your comments are appreciated. When new I made mistakes on where and how to post.

With the length and depth of your replies, I think a journal area here would be a good place to let all you need to express free form on your own route to help and healing.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I don't believe you've threadjacked in the sense of veering away from the OP's topics. At least not in wh...

I do that so that people understand where my advise is coming from. But YOU did aay i hojack most of the threads i post in did you not?

 

[Deleted member 20978]

I am feeling wary because you are both interpreting things not as intended and also making me feel I'll be attacked if I continue to engage. My *intent* has only been to say what maybe others have said better, which is that a diary would be a good place to share a lot of things you have been sharing, and that not doing so may well lead to exactly what's happening now. I did not mean to assert that you are ignoring others or having any malice in your postings. I do not perceive that at all in what I've read. Which is a lot. FWIW I hope you don't actually leave the site.

 

[joeylittle]

@lostforgottensoul - this is a group. People in groups have different opinions. On this site, members are allowed to express themselves freely. No-one is responsible for triggering another person. As long as members are writing about actions, instead of attacking individuals, then they are allowed to say what they would like.

This was my only support, unlike the majority of you, i have not one family member that talks to me except 2 and those 2 dont believe me therefore they arent support. I have no friends. I dont have my therapist's cell # or or email address like a lot of you so when i have 200 pills in my hand or when i am trying to gather the nerve to jump in front of the train, i have no one to text or email.

Personally, I don't have any family I can talk to at all. I don't have my therapist's cell number. I don't have friends/a living breathing support system. So I know where you are coming from, in terms of feeling like this community is your 'place'.

But we aren't a crisis site. And when you don't know where to go when you're having suicidal thinking, you need to call a crisis line and get help from them.

Time away wont make this go away so my only option is to permantly go away.

Im not in a good place right now and overdosing sounds like a wonderful idea.

I need to ask you very directly: are you planning on killing yourself? We cannot help you with that.

If you are venting, you're upset, you're expressing yourself - that's of course OK. But suicidal postings and threats are specifically against our rules, and I'd like to give you a chance to clarify what you mean (instead of just giving you a warning directly).

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I need to ask you very directly: are you planning on killing yourself? We cannot help you with that.

Im at work so not likely; just sounds like a good idea

As to people dont trigger other people, i beg to differ. Not only can someone hit my triggers, i have hit others on here as well, appologizez for doing so and backed off.

And as well attended as you might be, to remind me of how horrible i am or only i can trigger myself; that really doesnt help. Not trying to make anyone upset, just being honest.

 

[joeylittle]

Thanks for answering - I appreciate knowing that you're going through intense ideation, not planning.

And as well attended as you might be, to remind me of how horrible i am or only i can trigger myself; that really doesnt help. Not trying to make anyone upset, just being honest.

Honest is absolutely cool.

I didn't tell you you were horrible - that's not something I even think is true.

The thing about triggering, and who triggers who - I understand you disagree with that, and appreciate you letting me know it doesn't help.

 

[ms spock]

So unwritten rule; no one (2 or more people meaning not just me) cant have a series of replies that sparks of a conversation?

You can, but it is within limits. I realised that I had responded in too much detail, and that I had talked to you too much in one thread, so I stopped replying thinking about how I could either start another thread or private message you.

I have a tendency towards thread hijacking and I am trying to be more Mindful about that now. So I am perhaps not the wisest person to talk about this, but I can give you a few tips. It is up to you. Maybe take a break, go for a walk, do something else, distract yourself or do something nice for yourself, and come back later with a clear head?

This really helped me when I was in a bad place. I don't know if it will help you but here it is: http://www.dbtselfhelp.com/html/radical_acceptance2.html

 

[Deleted member 20978]

Lost, I'm gonna apologize for if/how I have hit any triggers, and back off as I don't feel my presence is helpful. Saying this so you don't read my exiting as anything else. Good you are recognizing you are triggered.

 

[intothelight]

Sometimes it is good just to step back and take a break. One of my PTSD symptoms is emotional overload and I have learned to leave the situation and give myself a day (and usually a good night's sleep) before I come back and address it. One of the pitfalls of PTSD is personalizing and I have to be careful and make sure that I am not personalizing something that is personal. Also, people have different opinions and if I don't agree, then OK I don't agree.

Also, don't ever let a something that can be addressed and dealt with keep you away from something that is good for you. The beauty of this forum is getting to interact with people who understand and will also help when they can. It is a great place to relearn or/develop skills that will be of benefit in daily life and interactions.

There isn't an attack here as that is never allowed and I can't think of a place that is much safer to express, talk or discuss.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Honest is absolutely cool. I don't think I told you you were horrible - that's not something I even think is true.

No, i think that and the times that you've said that only i increased my anxiety or only i cause triggers; thats what runs through my head even if thats not what you're meaning. I take it as "she thinks im horrible and fon nothing right and cause trouble etc".

I get that my brain causes this, i font on purpose but what i dont think what a lot of folks get is when you try to help someone with something; like say the death of a child, if i say "i understand", that wouldnt be the truth as ive never lost a child but if i say i understand and then provide some details, then you get why i understand. Or sometimes if i reply, no one gets what im saying without background info.

The terms "hyjacking a thread" or "jack all threads" carries WAY more weight than than most realize for me. I reply to help and then someone replied and back and forth it turned into a conversation. I dont get why im blamed as my first reply was answering a question by the OP but apparently that thread wasnt for me.

And @Changeling im not "ranting" at Chava, though rhat started it, it was another message that dug that trigger deeper and this has nothing with "getting over a rant", its about feeling safe here and cant be vulerable if i dont feel safe; therefore its not about "getting over a rant".

 

[anthony]

Stop listening to members who think they're staff, or believe they have some claim here about who does what. If staff aren't saying it in a staff capacity, then post as you want.