Sufferer In College And Looking For Support. Math Is Impossible.

[mastiffdrool]

Hi. I'm Morgan... 29 years old and in college for the first time since high school. I am about two years in and completely struggling in math. I've only been able to complete the first algebra class in all of this time and I am working on the second one, but a month in and I'm failing. I just took my midterm, failed. I was diagnosed with complex PTSD and Major Depressive Disorder. It is from long-term abuse and multiple traumas. I was abused by my mother from 2 years old on, and the last time she physically assaulted me was when I was 25 years old. She is also very psychologically abusive. I have a history of sexual assault between the ages of 12-14. I have issues with dissociation, depression, hypervigilance, paranoia, anxiety, and I am starting to wonder if I have some sort of learning disabilities due to what seems like a complete inability to learn complicated algebra in school. My brain has a tendency to "turn off" during tests, where I can't even process the words I'm reading, and I can't even behind to understand what the problems are that I am looking at. This happened during the midterm, and it took me two hours to complete just a few questions, incorrectly. I don't seem to really absorb much information when it comes to math and I am not sure what is going on or how I can overcome this. I am just starting out (still in pre-reqs) and want to be successful in college, but it's looking like I am chasing after dreams I'll never obtain... especially considering I want to major in science.

 

[Tinyflame]

Welcome @mastiffdrool. :)

How did you find math before this? (Algebra & calculus etc actually don't require typical math skills or knowledge,most people don't realize that, if that makes sense. Could be a lousy prof, too?

I'm sorry for what you've been through. I hope addressing the ptsd first & foremost will help you, & to succeed in your dreams.

 

[Queen Boudica]

My brain has a tendency to "turn off" during tests, where I can't even process the words I'm reading, and I can't even behind to understand what the problems are that I am looking at. This happened during the midterm, and it took me two hours to complete just a few questions, incorrectly

I'm studying at the moment and that brain turning off during tests, and not being able to process the words when reading, I get too. It is anxiety and panic. Do you get extra time for exams, you should qualify with your condition, think you get 15 mins for every hour so for 2 hour test you would get another 30 minutes, so maybe take some of pressure off. But do you see a therapist to help you with anxiety? At my uni there are therapists on campus and they help with overcoming anxiety for tests etc, giving you strategies.

I think there is a condition similar to dyslexia for maths not sure what it is called that means real difficulty being able to do maths. Maybe see a learning specialist who would be able to test you? Also is it just maths? Just wondering perhaps you may consider ADD, if it is difficulty focusing and staying focused. Other thing is maybe a maths tutor, to give you a bit more help.

 

[mastiffdrool]

Welcome @mastiffdrool. :)

How did you find math before this? (Algebra & calculus etc...

Well, I'd never taken algebra before this, but I have decent "typical math skills", if I am taking that correctly... I can add, subtract, do basic multiplication in my head, divide, and so forth. I can do most math you need to get by in everyday life, for sure... and usually pretty accurately... for example, estimating costs after discounts in my head and things of that nature.

The reason I hadn't taken algebra prior to college is because I am from Idaho, and I'm an Atheist who is LGBT (or, in other words, the Antichrist to people from backwoods Idaho), so I had a LOT of trouble in school. I was harassed by school staff, including the assistant principal, so I ended up skipping the majority of my 8th and 9th grade years to avoid confrontation. I believe I completed 21 days total my 9th grade year. As soon as I was old enough to legally drop out, I did so, and got my GED. My formal education really stopped in 7th grade, where learning pre-algebra was on the agenda, but my math teacher was drunk, in class, all the time. No, I'm not joking... he kept a bottle of whiskey in his desk.

So, I know I am behind, but I picked up basic algebra pretty quickly, and tested high enough to place into Math 60, the beginning algebra class, rather than the pre-algebra classes. However, the problems come in when the algebra gets complicated and I am required to remember several steps, or several different ways of doing certain things, when I should do them instead of using another formula, ect.... Numbers start switching around on me, or I will write them down in the wrong order even though I am looking at the right numbers. It's extremely hard to describe, but it isn't as simple as "you need to practice more". No matter how much I practice or what approach is taken to try and teach me, I don't absorb the more complicated material. I can do it when I have everything I need in front of me, including the formula to use, but not from memory. Does that make sense?

Thank you for the welcome and reply.

 

[mastiffdrool]

I'm studying at the moment and that brain turning off during tests, and not being able to process t...

Yes, I have applied for disability accommodation, but I am required to attend some class prior to actually getting accommodations which I am finding difficult to attend because I wasn't aware I would need to go to a group class. I am not sure if we have to speak in this class about our disability requirements or if it is just informational. I am not particularly excited about other people knowing I am signing up for disability services... It's just a bunch of anxiety related to getting the process started, which makes me feel like it is going to be difficult the entire way.

And yes, I do see a therapist weekly, and a psychiatrist monthly for medication adjustments. We've been successful in treating my sleeping issues, but anxiety/dissociation/depression/frustration/fatigue/hypervigilance/paranoia...... ect... all still there. I am going to talk to my therapist about assessments for possible learning disabilities or other things we can look at to address these issues at my appointment tomorrow, but my therapist is very new to the profession (she was a student intern when I started with her in May last year), so she's not easy to deal with.

 

[Suzetig]

It may be that your brain just doesn't do that kind of maths, I know mine doesn't. I'm fairly clever, have good school results, a good degree and post graduate qualifications - so it's not an intelligence thing, I just don't "get" maths.

Not everyone is able to do everything, it's ok to have an area you struggle with - do as much as you need to get by and focus on other areas where you have strengths. For me that was essay based subjects eg English, history and ironically enough, sciences. I could do physics like a demon, but not maths. Oddly enough as an adult I've never had to solve a quadratic equation, prove a calculus formul or work out the area of a sphere, so I don't feel my life has been stunted by my failure in maths.

If you're doing ok in other areas, maybe try not to get too hung up on this one because that will just increase your anxiety?

 

[mastiffdrool]

It may be that your brain just doesn't do that kind of maths, I know mine doesn't. I'm fairly clever, ha...

I guess my problem is that I *can't* get my degree unless I pass these classes, which is where a lot of my stress comes from. For the most part, I excel in everything I put forth effort in that isn't math, so it's very frustrating that so much of my future depends on being able to show proficiency in advanced algebra, something even a biochemist friend says he never uses in his profession. I am hoping with accommodation I can get past thing.... we'll see.

 

[Suzetig]

It's really hard when you're used to seeing good results for your efforts - I know what that's like. I was literally a straight A student, except for maths where I scrapped by (meaning I scored 51% in exams with a 50% pass rate). It may be about accepting that a pass, at whatever level is good enough and don't worry too much that you're not excelling there the way you do in other stuff. If you strive for the same standard in maths as you do other areas you run the risk of compromising your grades in stronger subjects and still not getting the results in maths either.

Ask for accommodation, use the supports that are available but don't give yourself a hard time for struggling with it. Try not to get caught up in looking for a "reason" for struggling unless you really think there is a specific issue - so far all of the things you describe could be as a result of anxiety about having to do the class and pass it, if you can lessen the anxiety you may find you're more able to take stuff in.

 

[Tinyflame]

I totally believe it's not a question of trying harder, I know you are. I don't know enough to give you help, but what comes to me are 4 possibilities to rule out from what you said here:

Numbers start switching around on me, or I will write them down in the wrong order even though I am looking at the right numbers.

1. possibly a cognitive issue, an inherent way your brain deals with numbers, not sure if I would call it 'learning disability' but a different way of processing what you need. I'm sure there are many different amazing types of processing out there!
2. Something like the presence off ADD/ ADHD, complicating matters for you (your reference to can't keep them in memory). Might be a factor in difficulty sitting or focusing on what you need during tests, hard to recognize the passage of time/ per question
3. A lousy prof (I remember taking the same course twice in Calculus and getting D or F, then an A+ with a different prof. (My friend, who became an Accountant, had the same experience with him,also got a D then A's, as did others).
4. Missing some background material you need- likely something small, but critical for this application

I'm not a good authority on this but I'm sure others will be able to help more.

To be honest, to be doing this well & dealing with all you are I think you're really accomplishing so much. :tup: Give yourself credit.

(And I know it's very serious, but you have a wicked sense of humour, thanks for the giggle re:Idaho. Though I'm sorry for what you've been through. :( )

 

[mastiffdrool]

It may be that your brain just doesn't do that kind of maths, I know mine doesn't. I'm fairly clever, ha...

I have been considering talking with my advisor about doing pass/no pass for math and seeing if that might help get me through it, but I am not quite sure what that entails, so I'll have to speak with him about it. And yes, I generally get A's in my other classes, as well. My first year in college, before being diagnosed, resulted in two terms on the honor roll and two failing terms. One of the honor roll terms was with the Math 60 course, but the other one I made the honor roll because I dropped the math class before I received any penalty.

Thanks for the encouragement. :) You're right, I just need to get through it to the best of my ability, without compromising my other studies... and I do get into the habit of doing that. I feel like I can slack more in other classes because I can write an essay that will receive an A without doing any sort of rough draft or intensive study, nor going back to edit more than minor details, but I don't really absorb all of the material when I do that. I skim over material, get what I need out of it to make the grade, then move on, trying to keep my focus on math. Once I get into more important classes, my biology classes, I won't be able to do that, because those are the important classes, the foundation of my what will become my career.

 

[mastiffdrool]

I totally believe it's not a question of trying harder, I know you are. I don't know enough to give you h...

Thank you for all of the encouragement and kind words, as well. I definitely use humor even during serious discussion, so no worries about laughing; I'm glad you enjoyed the joke.

Those are all good places to start, and I am hoping my therapist can help me with some assessments to rule out possible issues... or at least for reference when disability services needs to know how to accommodate my issues.

 

[Fadeaway]

No words of advice but you are not alone. I have all my classes done for my A.A. degree except for 4 semesters of math because I needed remedial math and flunked out of algebra twice.

Thank you for making this thread.