I Cant Seem To Lower Increased Anxiety No Matter What I Do....help!

[lostforgottensoul]

My anxiety has been insane, I dont know why. I know my mom's birthday was yesterday, I know that Im nearing very VERY raw, new, VERY HEAVY, VERY intense emotions that are too much to approach, too much to go near, like I cant handle it and I know the fact that im not in control of my own brain is making very pissed off and today my therapist says thats a good thing but but I need to get a handle on this anxiety or im gonna loose my job. I work in an incoming call center for a nationwide internet company as an internet & PC tech and most customers are annoyed, some abusive and Ive always handled irrate customer's well.

This is all i have ever done my entire adult life from 18 to now (35 on 4/9); working in incoming call centers; and one of those jobs was retention so Im pretty well versed in de-escalating a customer and I had been caught twice going off on a customer about 6 or so months ago; at that time my Xanax was increased from 2 a day to 3 a day cuz im needing 1 at night to slow my ever racing mind to sleep. And i also downloaded a free anxiety app off google play called What's Up. I mixed the breathing exersise that worked the best and the metaphor that worked the best (imaging myself floating on my back on water) and got very good at it and its always worked to ease the anxiety while on the call and then i can take a break.

Also at that time I applied for and was approved for 2 extra FMLA 15 breaks a day when needed, and I can take that after a hard call so the next one isnt bad and I do use them when needed but in that call where im rude, yelling, or more likely giving attitude back to the customer, that doesnt help so thats where my meds and the app has come in handy.

I do often forget to take my middle of the day dose of Xanax (im on 1 mg) but even when I dont...like right now, I had a pretty rough and intense therapy session, wanted to buy all the duster that was on the end cap i passed in walmart to huff (2 yrs clean...about) and when i got back in my car (about an hr ago) i took a xanax (i usually dont or try not to on my days off) and my anxiety is still VERY high. Everything is annoying me that my dad and step mom are saying and im snapping at them and not meaning to. Like the PC chair my dad sits in cause he's old and plays scabble all day (the desk is in the livingroom), it squeeks no matter how much WD40 I put all over the underside and I screamed "STOP MOVING THE f*ckING CHAIR!!!" Poor guy, he's not meaning to and its not his fault that it is squeeking.

I have a ton of sites and threads bookmarked about grounding exersises and i made an appointment with my psychriatrist next thursday as my therapist (LMHC) whom works under me wants me on seriquiol though im SO scared to change meds as on the other site people say it makes you tired, like Abilify did...doesnt stop...like you're body doesnt get used to it and if i take it at night then will it help the anxiety in the day?

Im stuck in the DBT workbook I have:

Dead Link Removed

Im stuck in the begging in Chapter 2, where you have to make an imagined safe place...struggled with it but finally was able to but lost it in the 3 day tailspin i had and i cant seem to get it back.

Is there anything else then everythibg i mentioned that has helped anxiety? I have Xanax, FMLA breaks at work, an app, grounding, DBT workbook. Is it worth maybe scripping the imagined safe place and coming back to it later? I cant seem to stop myself in the middle of even beginning, I cant seem to do any of the distracting things in chapter 1. My therapist saus it takes practice but im trying to cant seem to.

I dont know why its uncontrolable and i dont know why i cant get a handle on it and/or be able to identify it in the beginnkng or moddle and use the metaphor but thats sort of like an imagined safe place too and i cant aeem to imagine anything right now. I dont want to loose my job and i dont want to explode on everyone righr and left.

Any thoughts?

 

[ssw]

Meditate. Find your center. Deep breaths. I limited caffeine .. Really just coke and what not. They're horrible for you and I feel like it increases my anxiety. So I drink tea... Which had caffeine, but maybe it's different for some people.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

I suffer from high anxiety levels and it has decreased so much than three years ago for me. The best i could do was to have pajama days and either take naps or watch good movies which lifted my spirits and I know that the next suggestion is so very hard to do but being busy keeps me out of my head and doing strenuous activities also decreases the anxiety. I am not suggesting exercise at all.

I did take a anger management class through my hospital and it was also very helpful.

 

[Neverthesame]

I dont know why its uncontrolable and i dont know why i cant get a handle on it

Maybe you're trying too hard. Maybe the anxiety you are having trouble with, is being caused by your not being able to control it to your satisfaction?

Im stuck in the begging in Chapter 2, where you have to make an imagined safe place...struggled with it but finally was able to but lost it in the 3 day tailspin i had and i cant seem to get it back.

This sounds like frustration to me. Are you allowing yourself to not be perfect?

my therapist (LMHC) whom works under me wants me on seriquiol though im SO scared to change meds as on the other site people say it makes you tired,

This likely to happen. At very low doses, this drug often causes drowsiness. Perhaps you could ask your doctor about taking it at night before bed. That way the side effect can work for you, rather than against you?

Ive always handled irrate customer's well.

This is a thing that I used to do better at myself, don't know if it's related to anxiety or what, but the older I get, the less patience I have for other people's shit. Lol. I'm just glad I don't have to deal with customers in my current line of work.

 

[KwanYingirl]

I get like you too. Hate it when I parrot back to an annoying client. I am anxious most of the time and after a few days I just crash. So I've been watching you tube videos by Tara Brach on various topics. Anxiety is a common theme. She has some useful practices to defuse the anxiety by acknowledging it, say there it is but no thank you, then breathe mindfully in for a count of 6 then out for a count of six. Place one hand on your heart and the other one on your belly. These body parts are neural centers and giving them warm attention helps to calm the empathetic nervous system. Just breathe. If you feel the anxiety say there it is but no thank you. Practice this . Try to pause for even 8 seconds when you get anxious and just allow it to be there, then say o thank you

 

[Neverthesame]

it squeeks no matter how much WD40 I put all over the underside

I missed this part the first time round. Try mineral oil. WD-40 is petroleum based, it evaporates quickly after being applied.

Mineral oil on the other hand, doesn't evaporate nearly as quickly, it's also odourless. :tup:

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Meditate

I cant seem too. Been trying to but my brain wont such the f*ck up! Got an idea for that? Its also why i cant draw anymore too.

Find your center.

Hmmm...i am sorta terrified of "my center"...or my brain as i see it. Maybe like a youtube vid like mediation for dummys or something lol.

I limited caffeine .. Really just coke and what not. They're horrible for you and I feel like it increases my anxiety. So I drink tea... Which had caffeine, but maybe it's different for some people.

Wish i could. One of my phsyical symptoms (of many and all medical has been ruled out) is severe exhaustion to the point that i have my head in my lap sitting up. Its insane and frustrating! And it also has nothing to do w/ any of my meds as i ruled each one out and each combination out and have been on them for yrs and this is new (as of about a year ago maybe). Therapist also said he didnt see it as a med thing but i stopped my xanax for 3 months due to it and was a basket case. Was also put on addrall because of it and that shit got flushed, red zone anxiety that wouldnt come down no matter how many xanax i took. Blah!

It does come and go so maybe when its gone i can try. I seem to sleep a lot after my therapist apointment and the next day...sleep through both days off...

I do want to figure out how to meditate, it very much intrests me, just cant figure that out with a screaming head...

 

[sun seeker]

Everything is annoying me that my dad and step mom are saying and im snapping at them and not meaning to. Like the PC chair my dad sits in cause he's old and plays scabble all day (the desk is in the livingroom), it squeeks no matter how much WD40 I put all over the underside and I screamed "STOP MOVING THE f*ckING CHAIR!!!" Poor guy, he's not meaning to and its not his fault that it is squeeking.

I sympathize.

When I have this kind of anxiety - and I really do get how painful it is - what helps the most is cutting down on all the sensory overstimulation as much as I can. Can you go into a quiet room, wrap up in a soft blanket, put on earphones with soft music or even a white noise machine (or a fan if you don't have one) to drown out the noise of the squeaky chair, and stay very still? Anything really to cut down on the sensory input. That's what works best for me in those states. They're awful!

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I did take a anger management class through my hospital and it was also very helpful.

Hmmm, maybe. Anger is directed at me tho so i dunno.

The best i could do was to have pajama days and either take naps or watch good movies which lifted my spirits and I know that the next suggestion is so very hard to do but being busy keeps me out of my head and doing strenuous activities also decreases the anxiety. I am not suggesting exercise at all.

I def sleep a lot...i cant stay awake a lot of the time.

Maybe if i just try drawing again. I did once and fot fristrated and threw it all against the wall but that was a long time ago.

Maybe you're trying too hard.

To refind my imagine safe place? Yeah i was...so i stopped trying and decided to let it come to me...

This sounds like frustration to me. Are you allowing yourself to not be perfect?

You quoted about my imagined safe place but at work i totally forgot to add that im written up for AHT, average handle time...the average amount of time that you are on calls and so i have to be efficient and fast and so that adds to all of this. Also theres a new (VERY poorly written and whomever wrote it should be fired) troubleshooting tool that the incentive payout of now 100% based on, drilled into us to use, but it slows me down zthus raising my AHT...so i already have frustration for work related things...add anxiety in the mixed and raised anxiety at that and you have a disaster.

Am i allowing myself to not be perfect? You know that is an awesome question. The way i see myself is the exact opposite of perfect but strive for perfectation and dont allow for human error, ever.

But then that brings up the question on how to allow for human error and let go of 'perfection'?

Will gotta think on that on but thats an awesome question in ever aspect of my life...

This likely to happen. At very low doses, this drug often causes drowsiness. Perhaps you could ask your doctor about taking it at night before bed. That way the side effect can work for you, rather than against you?

Yeah, i havent switched to it yet buf my therapist told me it only makes you tired for a week (heard that about abilify too which also got flushed) and so me not sure Drs know all they think they do...

Im def not gonna try it unless she prescibes it with xanax, to allow me to switch for a while, likely take a week off work, and if it doesnt work for the anxiety switch back. Its the only way im willing to try it so if she doesnt then in just gonna have to deal w/ what i have.

been watching you tube videos by Tara Brach

Thanks! I'll check it out!

The app has a lot of breathing stuff in it and ive gotten the ok from my sup to put the customer on hold to calm down the anxiety...the issue im having is identifying before i get to that "cant turn back" place. Its sorta creeping up on me fast.

My therapist and talked a lot today about remaining aware (differwnt subject but same thing) so maybe the femainding aware or being aware or something os something i gotta pratice first? Either way, youtube is a great place to look. I have a song that was done by for a children's hospital where all lyrics were made up by children. It makes zero sense buts its funny and cute and helps get me in a better mood and i can and do watch youtube between calls so maybe more of that kinda thing along with 'the the f*ck do i become aware that my brain is taking me over'...obviously not that wording lol.

I missed this part the first time round. Try mineral oil. WD-40 is petroleum based, it evaporates quickly after being applied.

Ooooo, SOOOO WILL as that chair is loud and SOOO f*cking annoying!

Tho not sure evaporating is the issue as it never stops it to begin with, like tho im soaking where the chair meets the base upside down im not getting to where its squeeking. I did once and my dad did once but since we havent been able to...im about to toss it out the door and just buy him another (its his chair) just for the sake of my sanity lol.

Will try this tho, thanks!

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Can you go into a quiet room, wrap up in a soft blanket, put on earphones with soft music or even a white noise machine (or a fan if you don't have one) to drown out the noise of the squeaky chair, and stay very still? Anything really to cut down on the sensory input.

For the chair, yeah, for my job, no. I wish i could tell the customer whats REALLY going through my brain. If you dont know what a mouse is and say "mash" instead of click, just back away from the computer, please! Lol.

No but seriously...i gotta figure out how to like detect that my anxiety is going there. I used to be able to and i dont know whats changed. But i have to figure it out like now, if i still have a job on Mon when my sup and i are working on the same day. I keep checking my email, can log into an outlook app for work email, and he hasnt responded to my email at all so thats making me nervous.

I do adore my job and generally call centers scoop me up fast w/ the experience i have but get fired for going off on customers and you can throw that scoop out the window...

 

[sun seeker]

For the chair, yeah, for my job, no.

Yes, I understand. When not at your job, though, can you make it a priority to give your senses some rest? It won't solve the level of anxiety you are experiencing, but it may help make it more bearable.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Yes, I understand. When not at your job, though, can you make it a priority to give your senses some rest? It won't solve the level of anxiety you are experiencing, but it may help make it more bearable.

Yeah totally. And maybe if i do that AND try to quite my head it will go over to work with me.

Hmm, thats a good thought! Thanks!