General Being Asked Questions When Symptomatic.

[Fadeaway]

I am putting this in the supporter forum because I think the topic of discussion might be helpful for supporters and sufferers alike.

I find that when I am having anxiety, a panic attack or flashback, that being asked questions only intensifies the panic. I need to hear soothing words and statements of fact.

When I am like that, my brain really can't function to communicate well. Trying to answer questions just makes my mind go blank, and that causes frustration, which in turn causes the anxiety to rise.

For example, tonight I misplaced my anxiety meds, I needed them and started to panic when I couldn't find them. Hubby trying to help starts asking where I last saw them. I just couldn't think.

What I need to hear in that moment is something like "It's ok we'll find them." It is reassuring and my brain doesn't have to think about the question let alone trying to calm myself so I think clear enough to remember where I put them. But that is what works for me. I would like to hear how other sufferers feel works best for them in those times.

I have spoken with him before about it, but he forgot. I know it's natural for supporters to want to ask questions. Hence, why I brought it up in the supporter section.

 

[Seasounds]

It depends on the level of my anxiety, and it depends on their tone of voice. If I experience either their voice tone to be critical, or their voice tone to be rushing me, then my anxiety increases. Tension can really escalate, in these situations, depending on how we both respond.

You have really put to words very well, an example of an interaction that can occur, routinely. And it sucks, when the sufferer and the supporter are both having a bad day, at the same time.

An example of this, between my last mate and I, was of him giving me angry, irritable (verging on nasty) comments when my anxiety at learning the computer was already very high. After his questions or criticisms (e. g. "What EXACTLY didn't you understand?"), I would freeze, and not comprehend simple instructions

I like how you stated that usually your hubby knows how to work with you in anxiety situations. Rehearsing the plan helps, and we are all human.

 

[GardenGirl0214]

I feel exactly the same way as you do about this! Recently, I had an anxiety attack in my therapist's office. She asked me what I needed from her to feel better. I honestly couldn't think about what would help! The only thing I said to her was, "Just talk to me ; I don't care what you say." She then reassured me that I was safe and then she proceeded to do some deep breathing exercises. Both of these things helped me.

 

[Klo]

To be honest I really just need everyone to get away from me, I need to be alone when I am having a panic attack, I basically just lock down until it's over. Any interaction with people will just make it several times worse and may even give it an angry edge. So just tossing that out there in case there are supporters who have a loved one like me. If they don't respond to you and try to physically move away, it's not because your desire to help is unappreciated. It's just that you can't help and they need you to accept it and give them space.

 

[Intrepid]

"It's ok we'll find them."

Reassuring words are the best. Breathing exercises do to.

Normal people tend not to understand it when my anxiety ratchets up. It doesn't seem to match what's really going on around me. It's really hard to go right in and fix the problem because when I am anxious my mind doesn't function well. I have to reduce the anxiety first, then find my meds.

 

[Teasel]

I find that when I am having anxiety, a panic attack or flashback, that being asked questions only intensifies the panic. I need to hear soothing words and statements of fact. .

I find therapy difficult for the same reason.
Arrive, be looked at silently, dissociate!
Was thinking today about it, sometimes feels like my weekly shaming session
Frustrating!

 

[sun seeker]

Reassurance. Soothing words like "It's okay, you're safe, I'll help you." No questions. In those times, I need the other person to have the answers, and questions only make me more anxious, especially questions along the lines of "what do you need?" because then I feel even more like I'm on my own - if I can't think to ask for what I need and they don't know either, then who is left? I need someone else, as long as they are a safe person, to make decisions until I've calmed down.

Breathing exercises would make things worse for me. Just pointing out people are different.

 

[Anarchy]

To be honest I really just need everyone to get away from me, I need to be alone when I am having a panic at...

same here
It's pretty much GTF away from me, don't block the friggin door, don't follow me and try to corner me, and never ever call the pigs

I covered it in far more detail here
https://www.myptsd.com/threads/me-s...-and-other-vicious-circles.48156/#post-768114
also check out the link in that thread to one of @Lolly 's posts.