Where Do I Belong?

[Ronin]

Are you asking like what my "inner being" is or feels like to me?

As I understood it Saetva's question was about terminology used, not any concrete poster's subjective experience.

 

[UnKnown-Self]

Here is the thing about labels. In a perfect world labels would be unnecessary but we live in a world/country where labels or lack of them can cost us.
Prime example: I was out of work for several months. The time was well spent. I went to lots of therapy, learned lots of tools regarding mindfulness and coping and I worked hard.
Then towards what HR considered what I would be covered for (I found this out later by the way)
This got complicated for me, because of how hard I was working, I started to have dissociattive flashbacks still considered PTSD.
I had parts reaching out to me, children, who are quite delightful actually talking to me so much the only way I could keep things straight was to talk out loud in response. There were flashes in my sleep, that are a bit complicated to go into all the detail. Alice started talking to me, the Poet, Peggy who is four ans the Poets shadow, whatever that means, Smug who I knew from years ago and is a sarcastic and critical but sees himself as quite witty and Rage. Rage was not a what but definitely a who. I was have this flood of information coming in and the therapist refused to acknowledge this was happening to me and wouldn't work with me when I asked for testing which is out there to help me find out just where I fall on the scale.
Because the therapist couldn't "meet" anyone and she did request to she would not back up my claim I was going through this. The last six weeks I was out before going back to work, my claim was denied and I lost 6 weeks od pay.
So yes labels are necessary for HR, proper treatment and any other ass covering one might need when dealing with HR and insurance companies.
I wasn't trying to "work the system" I wasn't aiming for disability. I was / am trying to do the work to be whole and for once in my life discover who I am.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

As I understood it Saetva's question was about terminology used, not any concrete poster's subjective experience.

Oh ok, im sorry.

I just called "it" my "inner child" but my therapist says its halted emotions. I dunno, feels like an "alter" to me but feels like only one though "she" changes ages. Anywhere from around age 6 ish at night to age 12 ish along with my matured emotions.

Still not sure if i answered it. Im trying, im sorry

 

[UnKnown-Self]

@Saetva
My use of co conscious selves might not be the correct use. I say that because l have not been officially diagnosed but it is the only word I have to describe what I experience.
It is not a new experience. It wasn't until I started becoming more aware that I started connecting the dots. Not only with the "selves" but how PTSD was affecting so much of my life.
For me the conversations were normal. The negative thinking just a matter of low self esteem. Binging was just my lazy lack of control, the same went for my impulsivity when buying.
I always knew I was different but I didn't know my brain worked differently.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

@Alice.in.Wonderland i know how you feel...sorta. i dont have a name for mine either, therapist says haulted emotions but it feels more like one "alter" that changes ages and doesnt 'take over' or have a name but still feels more like an "alter" to me.

So since i didnt really know what what it was i just named it my "inner child" cause thats how it feels.