Has Any One Gone Back To Counselling ?

[indianstar]

Hi, i feel nervous as i joined this site two years ago but lost all my details lol.

So yeah hello , i have PTSD( obvious sorry lol) i got diagnosed nearly two years ago. I had CBT for 12 weeks and i wasn't ready to go deeper, my counsellor had asked me to write a letter to the prep and i couldnt . But she told me to come back when i am ready to get married. I didn't really understand and i thought i was "better" i was happier person.

Cutting it short been with my bf for nearly a year and he wants to propose. The guy is a blessing, only man i ever told about PTSD and he is trying to understand it when i share links etc. But its starting to cause us problems. well me problems.

I am having outbreaks, emotional, angry. I am being so horrible at times to him and then i calm down and be nice. I hurt him emotionally just way i got hurt when i was younger. I am sooo anxious all the time and can't stop scratching if that makes sense. I have booked a session with the community psych nurse who will say yes or no to referral to CBT but that itself i am feeling nervous.

Has anyone else had this experience before? I don't want to loose my soul mate but same time i am feeling like a failure but i can tell the signs that i need help

 

[ladee]

That is a sign of success, not failure, when you know you need help. The possibility of marriage is very life changing. You are having normal feelings and need guidance and understanding.... hope you follow thru... no shame in getting help... that is a great sign of growth... wishing you well.

 

[indianstar]

That is a sign of success, not failure, when you know you need help. The possibility of marriage is very l...

thank you, you have no idea how much comfort your words gave me. Sending you hugs and thanks x

 

[Suzetig]

It's good to know when you need help and to ask for it - it's not unreasonable that thinking of marriage would unsettle you and it's great you recognise the signs that you need help. Remember there are lots of different types of therapy so if CBT isn't helping, don't be afraid to try something else.

 

[ladee]

You're welcome. And welcome to the forums. Glad to see you here... wishing you well in therapy:hug:.

 

[Friday]

Getting far more symptomatic during periods of stress? Absolutely. That's kind of what PTSD does.

Blowing up in response to stress? Double, yep. Also what PTSD does. A faaaaar better explanation of that below! :)

https://www.myptsd.com/threads/the-ptsd-cup-explanation.83659/

 

[indianstar]

It's good to know when you need help and to ask for it - it's not unreasonable that thinking of marriage...

thank you xx

 

[hodge]

I was where you are about 10 years ago. I was so angry when I was first diagnosed, took so much out on my fiance, who is now my husband. Thankfully, I worked out most of my anger in therapy and no longer took things out on him. I would say do whatever therapy works for you. A good potential spouse does not come along every day. I don't know how I would cope if I weren't with him. I wish you the best :hug:s

 

[indianstar]

Getting far more symptomatic during periods of stress? Absolutely. That's kind of what PTSD does....

thank you i am going to have a look xx

 

[indianstar]

I was where you are about 10 years ago. I was so angry when I was first diagnosed, took so much out on my f...

i am really grateful you shared something personal to you..can i ask like how did you talk to him and educate him about PTSD. I am still learning about it myself but i had sent him some links. was cute as today i was having a down day and he said "do some actvitys" that was what it had said in one of the links i sent him before lol. Congratulations on your marriage <3 inspiration xx

 

[hodge]

I just simply told him what the therapist said, that I have PTSD, that I now understood why I was so angry and taking everything out on him, apologized profusely, and never did it again. He's pretty savvy and kind of knew about PTSD before I had it. He read stuff online to understand it better. But really, the most important thing is our relationship and communication. I really try not to dump on him very much, cause we're together all the time. I still have a lot of bad times, but I come here and vent in my diary, rather than talking about with him or my other friends in real life.

 

[hodge]

We've been together almost 20 years now and married for 14 :-)