Name that distorted cognition (thought/perception)

[ms spock]

I thought I was working on these better, but when I talked to my psychiatrist yesterday she said I was severely depressed and to up my medication. So I am following her advice. I was thinking during this last week I was weak willed in some ways, so I was really punishing and flogging myself quite a bit - so that has to stop.

It would explain why have spent most of the last two weeks crying and feeling so poorly - but I was convinced I was the problem - all the depressive thinking got in there and I was believing it.

I spent a lot of yesterday napping and trying to catch up on sleep. It is such a relief to know that I am severely depressed. It all makes sense now. I didn't know that. I was doing personalising and emotional reasoning.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Aww @Ms Spock ! I sleep all day when depressed (and every Thurs after therapy) but dont let it get you, you go this!

Distorations take a long while to counter, that I do know!

I hope the medication helps to make you feel better soon! :hug:

 

[Recovery4Me]

Carrying the cognitive distortions forward in thread for access:

1. All or nothing thinking -- You see things in black and white categories. If your performance falls short of perfect, you see yourself as a total failure.

2. Over-generalization -- You see a single negative event as a never-ending pattern of defeat.

3. Mental filter -- You pick out a single negative detail and dwell on it so exclusively that your vision of all reality becomes darkened, like the drop of ink that colors the entire beaker of water.

4. Disqualifying the positive -- You reject positive experiences by insisting they "don't count" for some reason or other. In this way you can maintain a negative belief that is contradicted by your everyday experiences.

5. Jumping to conclusions -- You make a negative interpretation even though there are no definite facts that convincingly support your conclusion. (Involves mind-reading and fortune-telling.)

6. Magnification and minimization -- You exaggerate the importance of things, or you inappropriately shrink things until they appear tiny.

7. Emotional reasoning -- You assume that your emotions necessarily reflect the way things really are, as in "I feel it, therefore it must be true."

8. Should statements -- You try to motivate yourself with "should" and "should not," as if you have to be whipped and punished before you could be expected to do anything.

9. Labeling and mislabeling -- This is an extreme form of overgeneralization. Instead of describing your error, you attach a negative label to yourself.

10. Personalization -- You see yourself as the cause of some negative external event which, in fact, you were not primarily responsible for.

 

[Recovery4Me]

3. Mental filter -- You pick out a single negative detail and dwell on it so exclusively that your vision of all reality becomes darkened, like the drop of ink that colors the entire beaker of water.

I felt that I didn't have enough finances, to offer my Son an adequate Birthday celebration. I had to regroup and remember love has no price range and it was OK to do from the heart. I did not let my poverty get in the way nor the cognitive distortion.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

@Recovery4Me thats awesome!

These still scare me but I think if I read them, or rather force myself to read them, the less scary they will feel to approach?

The good news is, a month ago I wouldnt go near this, now im willing to at least read them.

 

[Recovery4Me]

8. Should statements -- You try to motivate yourself with "should" and "should not," as if you have to be whipped and punished before you could be expected to do anything.

Trying to get a list of things done, I kept pushing, over riding my immediate need set or ignoring self-care. Finally, I hushed my shoulds, took a nap and then enjoyed cooking a great meal...instead of dragging to get it done.

 

[Lionheart]

All or nothing thinking has got a hold of me right now...I think that if my special someone doesn't feel love for me the way I feel for her that I have failed, but I know she has some feelings for me, I just don't know how much,

....but I will find out and it will be okay because we are first and foremost good friends before anything else. A strong foundation is important to build and it just takes time! I need to remind myself of this.

 

[Powder]

I'm not read up through the whole thread. Just the first and last pages have been what I could read so far.

It's a great thread and food for thought.

I can say I have done it all, and still struggle to see the shame elements of the above. I have recognized the problems with the negatively in the SHOULD thinking and have worked on that, but I don't think I can 100% stop that because it is so essential as part of our culture.

*"Mine-Is-Better" thinking (I see a lot during election years)
"Explaining Away" (Elaborate denial)

These are Narcissistic tendencies. Having been reared in such a culture, I have had to really delineate this kind of thought pattern in my own thinking and life. I feel fortunate that I have had this struggle and that I am aware of it. Because I can work this stuff with some success, and I can treat others with the kindness that I have always felt I deserved and didn't have at home.

My goal is to be able to maintain a style of interacting that is assertive and compassionate/sensitive at the same time. So far, it's easier to be more in the extreme of each. When balanced, I find this attractive in others and value this trait, so I wish to also achieve both in balance in my way of interacting.

Please tell me when I err on the side of being too in love with my own thoughts to hear yours. :) Really, please help me to see where I could "listen" and "trust" your ideas more fully.

The only way for me to amend this distorted thinking is to honestly communicate with others who I trust to give me honest and consistent enough feedback to be useful in gauging my own thoughts and respecting theirs.

It's not PTSD types that carry the weight of the world's distorted thinking. It's everywhere I go.

I can only change my thinking. But Rather than see "my" thinking as the only "distorted," thinking, perhaps a better way to look at this is that most of us are influenced to beliefs that most people with power or the group holds. So, placing myself around better thinking people is a good idea, as I will be influenced.

**** I try to Ignore and yet sort of respect the right to the thoughts of others that are clearly distorted. I have learned to not try to "fix" others' thoughts for them, big sister style. :) There are times when my ideas are asked for, but usually, this happens when I am not willing someone to change and respecting that they will be in control of their own thoughts.

 

[Deleted member 12723]

Well said @Muse so clear and concise what you wrote helped me so much. Thank you.

 

[Powder]

Gizmo, thank you. I always feel the same about your posts helping me clear my thoughts and feel better somehow. I appreciate the compliment! Thanks again!

 

[Deleted member 12723]

@Muse I also feel the same way about your posts, and think that you are a gifted writer. So you are welcome.

 

[ms spock]

I think I am engaging in all or nothing thinking and that is why my anxiety is so high again.

It is a thought - and thoughts can be changed.