I have CPTD and depression is one of the parts of it. My episodes always start the same early morning panic and shaking and fear to go out. The fear is the spiral I know I can’t stop. I notice they are tied to external stress. Nothing I can’t normally handle. This episode has a new twist… suicidal ideation. Truth being I don’t want to die I just want to feel better. I am sitting in a clinic now, as I stopped eating and was just laying in bed. I am still laying in bed here at the clinic. I am unable to deal with simple tasks and I don’t want to be here. I started actually thinking about how to get rid of myself without hurting anyone… my question is how do people here if any deal with these hopeless thoughts? I am not able to exercise or write gratitude lists I have been in therapy for years and I cognitively know these feels are from a place of hopelessness. Any advice from people who have been there? Appreciate it
