Simple bed time routine to promote sleep when you're more triggered - ideas please

Roland said:

That's definitely true. I have done a ten minute one an hour or two before bed and then couldn't fall asleep.

However, if you do it as you're going to sleep you may find it ushers you into a full deep sleep. At least that's what happens with me!

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Yes this makes seeker... I'm going to try it now... thanks for the suggestion...

So I tried getting into my pj's earlier than normal tonight... then getting a warm drink, then I went to my room and listened to some relaxing meditation... my anxiety went through the roof ffs .. staff did their check and suggested I come down to the lounge ... which I've done... I'm laying on the sofa and have practised the physiological sigh (really like this, really helps bring the heart rate down)... and done box breathing, also a bit helpful...

I'm trying so hard but my body is going they other way....

Ok, it's a work in progress... I'm going to try going up and doing yoga nidra in the bed, with my head at the feet end so I can't see the room... and if I feel sleepy with the yoga nidra, I can then fall asleep in bed rather than here on the sofa..

Trying not to get overwhelmed by the fact i seem to be more anxious trying all these relaxing strategies ffs

In bootcamp I got into the habit of doing pushups off the bed frame right before sleeping… just to burn off the last of the “alert!” swirling around in my blood. Then listening to the ancient ventilation system, which was like falling asleep on a train, whilst I would flex and relax every muscle in my body, starting from my toes.

Never would have occurred to me to do that, pushups, but in the beginning a few others were (50 racks in 1 room = A whole lotta different “settle to sleep” on command, old routines out the window, trying new things… all of which were completely visible as we slept on TOP of our sheets/blankets).

After a couple weeks (until the end 3 months later) about 1/3 of us were pushing; another third were going through photos -not enough light to read by, and reading wasn’t allowed anyway, reading was for when taking a shit, but there was enough light to see- or other flipping other things around in their hands -talking also not being allowed- whilst moving their lips. Some were praying, others singing silently, IDFK what others too far away for me to read their lips were mouthing or doing with their hands. And the last third were just motionless lumps; lay down, close their eyes, snoring followed.

In retrospect? It made sense; something gross motor, something fine motor, something imaginary or nothing at all.

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I’ve used that same trick of pushups before sleep when I’ve been places I don’t want to be, and can’t leave, too many times & places to count.

Rolling mandala/rosary beads between my fingertips, or flipping a coin around my fingers, or shuffling cards, I’ve found useful in other situations.

Singing/praying/mantras/talking would wake me up, but my son used to sing himself to sleep even before he could talk, and even as an adult prefers voices in his ears (if not his own, podcasts, etc.) to fall to sleep by.

I'm not sure if can do 1 push up

Thanks @Friday I'm willing to give anything a go... interesting to hear your experience and how you got there

I'm bean in my bedroom but just decided to put the TV on for now... distraction is working betterto calm the system...

Will give yoga nidra a go in a bit... and am going to try 5 push ups

beaneeboo said:

I'm not sure if can do 1 push up

Thanks @Friday I'm willing to give anything a go... interesting to hear your experience and how you got there

I'm bean in my bedroom but just decided to put the TV on for now... distraction is working betterto calm the system...

Will give yoga nidra a go in a bit... and am going to try 5 push ups

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Hey nothing wrong with distraction. I've been going through a rough time lately as well and it's been a lot of TV in between active processing (talking, writing, painting).

I think sometimes the pressure to relax can stress you out.

One thing I do if I'm really bad is stay up really late until I'm exhausted not in my bedroom and then go to bed. But you know better than I do how you work, I could see that causes a much worse reaction.

Hoping you get some rest!

One of the pieces of advice I got once to only use the bed for sleep. But this means that its not a place to just wait for sleep to come -- getting out of bed if you aren't asleep after about 20 minutes. Even though you "know" you are trying to sleep, your body isn't asleep and so the bed starts to be associated with being awake. So, just get up and move to a chair, a quiet place, do something distracting but not stimulating for a bit and then try again.

I also think about inviting compassion is helpful. Sometimes the pressure to fall asleep makes it impossible to fall asleep.

And I second what @Sideways says about exercise -- being tired is the most helpful thing for us.

The point about sleep hygiene being a whole-day practice rather than just a bedtime ritual really resonates - what we do with our bodies through the day shapes how easily we settle by evening. I've found that even 10 minutes of slow, gentle movement on the floor before bed - not stretching to discomfort, just rolling and exploring what's comfortable - can help discharge that residual physical tension that keeps a triggered nervous system on high alert. Keeping the movements really small and unhurried seems to be the key, because it signals safety rather than effort.

My T gave me a weird sounding one but it works.

"Orienting to bed." Get in bed, with a book, radio, music player whatever. Relax. Look at your room, your blankets, get comfortable, use lights that are easy to shut off. Read, watch something (control what you watch, make it comedy, or relaxing. We have a Stingray Nature channel where the set the camera on a beach somewhere, or by a lake, or even go diving, maybe follow sea turtles, or whales or whatever, with relaxing music.

Do it 1/2 hour before you want to sleep.

It's weird but in bed, all the "I went to bed, I need to sleep, when am I going to get to sleep......" stops. I either fall asleep or read or whatever and feel tired, then roll over and sleep.

It's not perfect but I get to sleep at night. Unless the book is really engaging.....

Audio books put me to sleep.

I recently discovered magnesium glycinate. That stuff is magic. Some people say to take it 30mins-1hr before bed, but I did that and I was more wired. So then I did some research and learned that if you're deficient in magnesium glycinate you need to take it in the morning.

I love my amnesic brain...i didn't know i started this thread!

Roland said:

I recently discovered magnesium glycinate. That stuff is magic. Some people say to take it 30mins-1hr before bed, but I did that and I was more wired. So then I did some research and learned that if you're deficient in magnesium glycinate you need to take it in the morning.

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I have heard this before... have you taken it in the morning?

The replies have been very inspiring and uplifting so far.

I find skincare and oral hygiene to be helpful as well.

Brushing and flossing somehow puts me at ease.

For my face - I first wash my hands, then wet, cleanse and rinse my face. I try pat gently dry to about 80% than tone, add a serum if needed than a mosturizer. I feel like a whole new person somehow.

As per the other posts, I agree with sleep hygiene starting when one wakes up and including diet, hydration and movement.

And chamomile has been my go-to.

Essential oils are another gentle option I'm trying. I keep a lavender roll-on and a eucalyptus one by the bed, along with water and a muscle/miracle rub for when I've gone ham and are in final stages of rigor mortis. I try use therapeutic grade essential oils.

Reusable earplugs have become my friend and them layered under noise canceling headphone and brown noise is like the weighted blanket, audio version...brown noise has a soothing depth to it unlike any other noise. I love the organic brown noise that has natural variations/ocean waves as the brain is soothed more by that than a static noise.

Yoga nidra, yes, love. I've used it to help me not only get deep rest when I'm not logging enough hours but also to fall asleep. Nidrascapes is a hidden gem on youtube and Blissful Relaxation yoga nidra by The Mindful Movement is also a go-to.

I try keep my brain ish sorted too - 80% of thoughts are either negative or not true so I do reframes via Voidpets Garden or Unstuck apps to exercise the mind and filter out the biases and bullshit that arise on a general basis. The Work app by Byron Katie is also in rotation. I also keep track of my goals and direction for myself as much as possible via the Finch app, Five Minute Journal by Intelligent Change app (Or hardcopy.) and Wisdo app.

Louise Hay's videos on youtube have also been pretty helpful for me - the anger releasing exercise and talk on change and transition are two that come to mind.

Life skills like decluttering, networking, asking for help, budgeting and delegeting has made terrible times not so bad. Learning to be and being gentle, loving and patient with my mistakes, about codependencies and counterdependencies has also helped my sleep.

I was taking medication as prescribed for about a decade, and have been off for about a decade. I find there are pros and cons to both. And that simple doesn't mean easy. And that I'm stronger, wiser and more courageous than I think (Throwback to where I said 80% of thoughts are shaite.).

Counseling and various therapies have helped me and seeing it all as compost or theory and ways to grow the garden of my life and seeing myself in a more empowered cycle of vulnerability, creativity and caregiving rather than the drama triangle of victim, aggression and fixer is a vital shift for me in self-perspective.

Anyway, that is my two cents. Thanks for your post and allowing me to contribute and share! :)