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I got him in 2019! We've been in training since February of 2019!

Today is my second day of classes. My service dog got approved to come to class with me but I'm not going to bring him until he's officially approved on Monday. I really feel like I really need him today. I've already had one panic attack

I'm really panicked as the closer it gets to me starting in-person classes. The last time I was in school, I was so unregulated. It led to my dropping out and having a mental breakdown. I'm terrified to go back and become another failure. My t tells me that it's all in what I tell myself and how...

I'm stuck between feeling completely numb and absolutely spiraling. I'm angry and sad, and it makes me hate myself even more than normal. Talked to this guy (online) every day for two weeks. I thought he was interested in me, but tonight he just blocked me out of nowhere. It feels like another...

I'm so torn between two big hurts tonight. My neighbor said my bio mom came to see me to give me mail, but I wasn't home (thankfully). So it's brought up all the feelings of panic and paranoia, and bad memories. I also can't stop messaging him. I know he doesn't give a single f*ck about me but I...

I can't stop hurting myself over him. Today was a good day, and yet I came home and talked to him again. It just breaks my heart every f*cking time. It's like I'm addicted to hurting myself. I don't self-harm physically anymore, so I feel like this is just another way to hurt myself. I don't...

I haven't talked to her yet about my system stuff. It keeps getting put on the back burner because of certain things in my life. Our session today was mostly talking about boundaries, my food addiction, and motivation. My mom normally comes with me to hard appointments, and she didn't go with me...

I have an appointment coming up this tuesday, so I'll probably confront her then

I do, but I'm learning to accept that it won't be the reality. I want him, but he only wants me sexually. It just wouldn't be good for my heart to continue having any relationship with him. I'm slowly getting over my heartbreak

Yeah I've re-read this without the blindness of the height of my emotions. I don't intend to hurt anyone just because I'm feeling hurt. I just needed to write about it.

What words could soothe a broken heart? Broken bones do not mend with kind words. Lovely phrases never stop bleeding. I write this at night, Mother Earth as my witness. I’ve written many things on a night like tonight. I thought I would write love poems about you. Started to plan a life with...

I don't know if I need another therapist. I've been with my current therapist for over a year now, and I will admit that I have shown progress with my current therapist. I'm better than I was, for sure, but I don't know how to talk to her about certain things, and I feel like I've hit a wall. I...

I haven't felt great since my T told me that we don't have DID. She instead diagnosed me with BPD. My Bio mom (Abuser) has the same disorder. She told me I wasn't like her in our last session, but I don't believe it. She also said that my system is probably a part of my schizoaffective disorder...

Had an appointment with my T yesterday. She said that I was misdiagnosed with DID. So it turns out I'm just f*cking nuts and she mentioned that I probably have the same disorder as my bio mom. I don't want to be here anymore. It doesn't matter if I'm alive or dead anymore. The world will still...

I know I'm just having a bad day. I know that but god all I do today is think about hurting myself. That everyone is better off without me around. I don't want to tell anyone. I don't want them to look at me like that. Like they're hurt and betrayed. I don't want to be even more of a burden...

I feel.. alone. I spent so much of my day just surviving from panic attack to panic attack. It feels so hollow. It feels so unending. This constant cycle. One good day to a week of awful days and back again. I don't sleep at night much anymore. I have too many things that hurt me all the time. I...

Hey everyone. I hope you're doing okay. A lot has been going on and I feel really alone I guess... I haven't posted on here in a while. I feel like I'm treading water. I'm always just a moment away from slipping back under. My depression is okay when I'm with my family during the day, But at...

So f*cking tired of feeling like shit. I have a good week or month followed by weeks of self-hatred and thoughts that I'd be better off dead. I feel like I'm getting triggered by everything. My service dog just split his nails today and I want to scream about it. He's going to be on bed rest for...

Yeah, I'm just disappointed to be so disabled. It's frustrating not remembering to do basic things like bathing and eating. I feel like an intelligent person but I'm trapped in this body and mind that's broken.

Yeah I'm between therapists at the moment and I think that it's a major reason I'm having such a rough time right now

Thank you <3 I appreciate it. I'm here with you too.

today sucks. I relapsed with my self-harm and I don't even know why I did it. Today wasn't particularly bad, yet here I am. I'm so f*cking angry at myself and everyone else. I feel it in my bones and it won't f*cking stop. I'm so angry and depressed. Is this life worth living? I don't know. I...

i ended up staying for three hours. my anxiety had built this party up to be some huge monster and it went fine. It was sensory f*cking overload but my dog did f*cking amazing. I'm so incredibly proud of him and how far he's come in his training. thank you for letting me vent when i was panicking

can I ask what you mean?

tonight ( in like an hour) me and my service dog have to go to a party. This is our first outing together in over a year. we only really know two people who are going and my heart feelings like it's gonna beat out of my chest. I'm so worried that my dog isn't ready and that he's still too...