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Who am I? Am I truly alone in this life?

Theasylumsystem

Confident
I haven't felt great since my T told me that we don't have DID. She instead diagnosed me with BPD. My Bio mom (Abuser) has the same disorder. She told me I wasn't like her in our last session, but I don't believe it. She also said that my system is probably a part of my schizoaffective disorder. That I probably created my system to have people who will never leave. It hurts. The fact that my system might not even be there. It's all in my head. I'm just f*cking nuts. That is the truth of it. My system doesn't exist, we're not different people. We're just...I'm just crazy. I don't feel like living anymore.
 
That I probably created my system to have people who will never leave. It hurts. The fact that my system might not even be there. It's all in my head.
Sorry you’re in the grinder!

If you have a system it’s there. For survival. DID is also all in the head. People with DID are not actually different people. Switching happens with disorders other than DID. And Richard Schwartz teaches that everyone has an internal system, but traumatized people notice it more.

Any time he of us on this forum can be or have been called crazy. Crazy is just what people who have no empathy call those dealing with mental and emotional struggles.

This ties into the thread I posted called “CPTSD = BPD?” (Don’t know how to link threads yet.). The names for the symptoms keep changing. The most important thing is to get help.

Wondering whether you can tell your T what you wrote here? Your perception of your disorder matters for your strength in recovery.
 
Hi @Theasylumsystem , sometimes we can feel very alone and sometimes we are very alone. I don't know much but from what you've said about your mother , you are very different already to turn it inwards. Maybe there is a better way? You deserve to be kind to yourself.

I am sorry you feel so badly. 🥺 ETA, you aren't alone in your feelings. Hugs to you if that's ok.
 
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