Another heartbreak that I can't let go

[Theasylumsystem]

I can't stop hurting myself over him. Today was a good day, and yet I came home and talked to him again. It just breaks my heart every f*cking time. It's like I'm addicted to hurting myself. I don't self-harm physically anymore, so I feel like this is just another way to hurt myself. I don't know why I can't establish strict boundaries with him or stop talking to him altogether. It seems like we have nothing to talk about anymore besides his constant sexual talk. I feel like I'm so f*cking weird that I can't just have a friends with benefits relationship without getting so f*cking attached. It hurts so f*cking bad. It's like reaching in to grab the same hot pan twenty thousand times. I hate goodbyes. I hate conflict. I hate that I feel this so deeply, and he couldn't care less. I'm sure he has other people he's talking to.

I feel like it's all my fault. Another thing that proves I'm unlovable.

 

[Sideways]

I don't know why I can't establish strict boundaries with him or stop talking to him altogether.

What boundaries would you put in place if you could?

Rather than getting to that point overnight, what are some small steps you could take towards having those good boundaries in place?

Do you ever reward yourself when you realise that you’ve put a good boundary in place with him?

Just some thoughts from things that have helped me:)

 

[arfie]

I feel like it's all my fault. Another thing that proves I'm unlovable.

empathy, theas. in my own recovery, i benefit mightily by taking the focus off of other people and work on untangling this very psycho snot knot. the guilt burden and certainty that i am unlovable block me from having the self-respect needed for drawing healthy boundaries. healing happens when i can be gentle and loving with, to and for myself.