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dammit it hurts

Theasylumsystem

Confident
I know I'm just having a bad day. I know that but god all I do today is think about hurting myself. That everyone is better off without me around. I don't want to tell anyone. I don't want them to look at me like that. Like they're hurt and betrayed. I don't want to be even more of a burden. There's so much I can't control. I hate the holidays. I hate what my bio mom did to us. I'm just hurt. Every single day it's such a struggle to live. Most days I wonder if life is worth living this way. I look around and everyone has all these problems too. I don't want to add to them. They've got worse than me I'm sure. I don't even know why I'm so sick. I've considered writing a will. I've considered self-harming again.

I don't tell anyone. I know It's my problem that I'm the one that can't function. Damaged goods. Broken. I'm wrong. It's the only thing that makes any sense.
 
Broken. I'm wrong.
Broken things can still be both useful, and be beautiful. Like stained glass windows; & flint axes, knives, spears, & lighters/firestarters; or Kintsugi, the Japanese art of repairing broken things with gold.

Maybe you’re not broken, and just having a bad moment. That’s fair. That happens.

But if so? From one broken thing, to another.
 
I know I'm just having a bad day.
well just just it all. . .
whatever the source of my bad days, they still royally piss me off and repressing my anger only turns me into a walking time bomb.
channeling time. . .
wanna borrow my kick boxing bag? maybe deck it out like a christmas tree before we smash that icon of sugar and spice to capitalist hell?
 
The holidays are hard for me too. I think most people who have a strain relationship with family and struggle with their mental health struggle even worse during the holidays. Your not alone in that. I think mental health symptoms magnifies during the holidays because there is so much emphasis on family, friends, presents, and happiness. It can be a reminder of what you don't have and struggle throughout the whole year. You matter and are deserving of love. The people that hurt you like your mom are responsible for your "brokeness." You are worth it and your life is valuable even when no one sees it. It's not your fault others choose to hurt you. I know it is dark now, but trust me there is little things in life that are worth living for like nature, animals, etc. There are tough seasons in life and life is really hard. It takes a lot of courage to live in this world with many cruel people that hurt us. I thank you for writing this post. I wish you nothing but the best and I really hope you don't hurt yourself. We all have intrinsic value and worth as human beings. I don't know if you believe in God, but God's love is better than any love and he loves us all. Take care and I love you buddy 🤍🌻
 
I know I'm just having a bad day. I know that but god all I do today is think about hurting myself. That everyone is better off without me around. I don't want to tell anyone. I don't want them to look at me like that. Like they're hurt and betrayed. I don't want to be even more of a burden. There's so much I can't control. I hate the holidays. I hate what my bio mom did to us. I'm just hurt. Every single day it's such a struggle to live. Most days I wonder if life is worth living this way. I look around and everyone has all these problems too. I don't want to add to them. They've got worse than me I'm sure. I don't even know why I'm so sick. I've considered writing a will. I've considered self-harming again.

I don't tell anyone. I know It's my problem that I'm the one that can't function. Damaged goods. Broken. I'm wrong. It's the only thing that makes any sense.
I don’t pretend to have the perfect words to say just that I lost a good friend recently to suicide that felt the way you do. All I can say is we are all in the this together and are broken. We all deserve love and grace and are worth it. Prayers
 
I know I'm just having a bad day. I know that but god all I do today is think about hurting myself. That everyone is better off without me around. I don't want to tell anyone. I don't want them to look at me like that. Like they're hurt and betrayed. I don't want to be even more of a burden. There's so much I can't control. I hate the holidays. I hate what my bio mom did to us. I'm just hurt. Every single day it's such a struggle to live. Most days I wonder if life is worth living this way. I look around and everyone has all these problems too. I don't want to add to them. They've got worse than me I'm sure. I don't even know why I'm so sick. I've considered writing a will. I've considered self-harming again.

I don't tell anyone. I know It's my problem that I'm the one that can't function. Damaged goods. Broken. I'm wrong. It's the only thing that makes any sense.
You are not Alone.do not do anything you will regret.i am Damaged too,it is rare when I can think I am worthy but I know I am.you did not get here to let to give up,you need to be heard and don't feel like people do not care,We do,that is why we are here.there is nothing no one can do to stop you from harming yourself,I been there and know if you take that step it is a step back,you have to come back and deal with the Guilt,Shame and Self forgiveness which is very hard.hold yourself,love yourself and know you are safe here to say whatever is Hurting you.I love your Honesty.be Strong for YOU,.Hugs
 
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