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The last few times in therapy, I've been freezing, paralyzed and/or mute. I probably have OSDD or something, but I just want to ask here because I need to know what's what and what's happening to me. Or if anyone experiences this. The first time it happened, we were doing IFS and I got a...

Had my appt yesterday. Was already feeling nervous and nauseous as per usual, especially when I feel like things are going to go deep. I've recently started dissociating again (apparently I did this as a kid but forgot about it) now that the mind is focused on a particular perp. Anyway, T...

I've noticed a few incidents over the last year or two or five where I've been triggered when a CSA-related something unexpectedly is said or comes up. I have felt during these times that my brain is gently being split in two, or the front half of my body is sliding off or something like that...

Greetings all! Well, the situation is this: I am a 36yo straight female with a history of CSA/R, cPTSD, etc. Except for the abuse/rapes (which explicitly returned to my conscious mind in 2014), I could have sworn I was a virgin, saving myself for marriage. Going through the whole...

My T and I have been using IFS off and on for a few years, and it's really been the most helpful modality. Sometimes I'll be working with a smaller Part and instant body memories come up, or a problem in my day-to-day life gets resolved, etc. However, I'm wondering how much credence I should...

Has anyone ever experienced "seeing" a p***s that isn't there? I'll give two examples: One was a few years ago, I was at my place of worship and, turning my head to the left, noticed an older man going into the restroom out in the lobby. I remember thinking: "Eww, now I'm picturing him in the...

Hi, everyone. So, I headed to therapy with the intention of sharing some triggery/flashbacky-type little things that happened during the week (like my daughter pushing my inner thigh slightly with her foot, resulting in immediate shooting V pain, etc). At the time, these always feel...

In a weird place on this the eve of therapy. Presently remembering a flashback I had a few years ago. It is graphic and I'm going to describe it here since apparently there are no TWs for this site: Background: I was watching a Jim Gaffigan special and suddenly his jeans would not stop...

Not sure where this post should go. Last night, following an emotional virtual T session dealing with attachment stuff earlier in the day, I had a night filled with sweaty epic nightmares that went on forever. In the first I came to find out my "origin story", or those early years of my life I...

A few sessions ago, my T did a major thing and opened up about her personal life/past. She informed me that her father, and even her mother, used to "beat the sh!t" out of her and her sibling(s). She said she knows dissociation, used to leave her body, knows what that's like, a child has no...

I remember the acts, penetrative ones. Used to think and be terrified I was pregnant at the age of seven, knowing how babies were made. Is it possible to remember such heinous, horrendous deeds and struggle to bring the perpetrator's face into focus???? Please, if anyone can relate or has any...

Last week my 5yo let out this guttural scream because she was angry with me for getting rid of her food she didn't want. As soon as she started screaming, I felt intense vaginal pain. I told my T about it last session, brushed it off as "maybe it's nothing". She said it's definitely not...

Fifteen years ago, a teenage girl is told by her drug addicted mother one day after school that she must go and babysit for a stranger one night: a woman, a nurse, who has two toddler boys. The young girl is used to taking care of other people's children, so doesn't really mind since it's a...

Question for anyone who is still doing TRE: A member from a different support site mentioned that doing TRE sometimes caused her to react with kicks and punches, self-defense movements. I have found that sometimes after tremoring for a minute or two... ...my body will position itself in such a...

I have had what I suppose are sudden intrusive memories and one actual terrifying flashback of a childhood assault. I've seen body parts and the actual trauma itself, but I've yet to be able to see the guy's face. I can think of some suspects based on circumstantial evidence but my brain has yet...