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I self-harmed for a long time, and although it's been a long while, too, since I did it, I often think of it at hard times, like today. As Adelaide says, the thing that keeps me from it is knowing that the crappy feelings will just be pushed aside for a bit and are bound to rear their heads...

You have a lot to deal with. It sounds like the biggest blessing is that he is in a school where the staff are trying to help him and are accepting of the challenges. So the next step is finding ways to help him be more successful in the classroom, and forming connections for you both to the...

This is a good insight.

I'm glad to hear that you have found a regimen that works for you! The information about the receptors was very interesting; I did not know that.

I often forget that there is physical evidence of all this. Thanks for the reminder.

This came up in my therapy recently and I was intrigues when my therapist said, "You don't need to apologize unless someone is hurt." I assume an injury without first checking with the other person, I think.

Nice idea!

It would seem that way to others, I think, but PTSD is not a disorder that behaves logically. Resolving PTSD is, at least in my experience, much less about conquering fear than about learning to tolerate with it. It never leaves, it jsut gets more manageable. The problem with PTSD is that it's...

I used to give blanket "sorries" all the time. Now I try to apologize more mindfully, especially in regards to what Nora describes, acting out the PTSD or trauma in my other relationships. If I feel I truly owe someone an apology, I make sure I do it at a time and in a place where we can both...

I generally can't stand being touched, and I can never predict if it will terrify or enrage me. I do a sport that involves contact and it's good exposure, but sometimes makes me dissociate. That said, I won't say no to a hug from my best friend every once in a while.

Having books to escape into. TV shows do the same thing. I love my life most when I'm not really living it.

Despondent.

I am very satisfied with the pacing, probably because it is mostly up to me. I have shared pretty much all my worst memories by now and it was always, ALWAYS completely voluntary. If I said I was too embarrassed or scared to share, then my therapist told me to trust that and not share until I...

I take Trazodone every night. Originally, I also took Zoloft, but I have titrated that off to almost nothing. My psychiatrist said that in addition to managing my sleep, the Trazodone may have antidepressant and anti-anxiety effects, since it is an atypical antidepressant. My Traz dosage...

I understand. I did this for a long time, too. Even though it's been years since I self-harmed, I do think about it when my emotions get difficult. I'm sorry you lost your husband and then your father. Those are majores loss on top of dealing with the trauma. No wonder you are emotionally...

I agree with this. It is hard to do, but when I am mindful and present, I actually feel alive. The crux of PTSD, for me, is feeling stuck in the past (the awful things that happened), the future (what awful things might happen), or in a scary dissociated state (nothing is happening because I'm...

Oh, my, Kaii. That current psychologist certainly sounds like a poor fit! I would crack up if my therapist made that suggestion. I am glad you have a bit more time off work to sort things out and plan your return so that you have better support and preparation.

Nora, I'm like you...it takes a while for it to dawn on me that I am feeling angry. But that's a long way from when I was so sure that I never, ever got angry. Being able to figure it out after the fact is a huge triumph for us. The more you do this, the faster the realization will come. I'm...

Oh, this is exactly how I have often felt. In some ways I think a lot of my therapy work is seeing things as you describe them, Zelda: both/and instead of either/or.

Have you seen a therapist only briefly, or for a longer period where you could build a relationship? Therapy for PTSD really does set you off; that's how it works, as painful as it is. It sounds like you are managing a lot in a therapy session--feeling tense and angry, feeling misunderstood, and...

Ga5bby, how is the therapy going?

"A little advice about feelings kiddo; don't expect it always to tickle." (Ordinary People)

How did your therapist respond to your description of forgetting? Did you feel heard, like she undersands better what is going on for you? Sometimes sessions go over because the therapist has a bit of extra time and feels like you are working on something important enough to stretch the...

It must be so difficult to be facing a job that you normally love but which now inspires terror. Have you been getting treatment while on leave? Have you been able to work out contingency plans with a therapist? Can you work out with HR an alternate placement temporarily that would give you...

Those frogs are great! I collect stuff related to my favorite Disney character. Pins, statues, stuffed animals, even a sketch that I bought and framed. It's silly and childish maybe, but I like it.