Prolonged Exposure Therapy

[Ga5bby]

My T wants to try this new therapy. I'm so nervous. From what I've learned about Prolonged Exposure is a pretty much have to tell what happened over and over until I get tired of it. It's more complex than that I know. Just basically that's the plan. It's gonna hurt bad, and then after sometime, hopefully it'll get better. Am I ready for the pain? I don't feel like I'm strong enough to do this. Yet I know I'm not strong enough to live my life with the way I feel today on my shoulders all the time... So many decisions. I'm lost.
Thanks for listening. *Gabby

 

[PTSDT]

I have been getting prolonged exposure therapy for around 10 weeks. It does get very difficult. I could not cry before and had high anxiety. Now I am crying more. Sometimes I have the high anxiety and the crying. I have been helped by having a friend I can call. He has also been my coach for the in vivo part of it. That is going to places where I felt OK, or that I enjoyed, before the worst trauma. I have wanted to stop several times. My friends says he can see I am getting better even if I can't. My therapist gave me a graph about 6 to 8 weeks in to show my progress based on my self reported PTSD and Depression symptoms. I was surprised to find that there was slight improvement in both. The graph kept me going. My friend has kept me going. But it is much harder than I thought it would be day to day. Feel free to send me a PM. I have not shared my story here yet. I am working towards that. But I have had several significant traumas over 35 years and we are taking each one at a time until I get through all of them. I have to say that I think prolonged exposure has been worth trying. It is just much more difficult day in and day out than I thought.

 

[kers]

I have been through a couple of rounds of prolonged exposure. I won't lie, it was tough. Really hard. And really, really worth it. Some of my reexperiencing and hypervigilance symptoms have almost completely disappeared. I used to sit, every night, for an hour or more, listening, terrified that my abuser was going to break into the house and attack me. Now, I crawl into bed, think, "I am vulnerable like this," remember that I am safe, roll over and go to bed.

The exposure therapy helped me get a big chunk of my life back. If you have a good alliance with the therapist, I encourage it.

 

[Ga5bby]

I had my first session Friday. Wow that was hard. I've been super anxious since. Bad flashbacks. More nightmares. My body is saying it's not worth it. But mentally I know that I could help in the end. So I'm kinda just confused.

 

[atl22]

I'm in the same boat, Ga5bby. I've been talking to therapists and each one has said CBT with the goal of Exposure Therapy. I am terrified.

I know that I have to press forward and do it because my life is not sustainable as it is.

I bought a book on CBT two others on PTSD in order to help prepare myself.

Thank you, kers and PTSDT for your posts. They were both very helpful.

 

[anni]

It's quite wonderful to be doing this now, too, so more power to you for going through it all specific to the trauma. When one allows it to slide for too long and not address things, you tend to end up with a laundry list of things your head has decided to also include in things-which-need-to-be-avoided and then those have to be dealt with via exposure T down the road. It's beyond convoluted and exhausting. Having the resolve to get to the heart of the pain before the head figures out other ways to do it itself is certainly the straighter, hence swifter path to healing.

I quite simply wish I'd done this. Well done, for what it's worth from an avoider! :)

Anni

 

[Deleted member 6617]

Just wanted to pipe in and say how proud I am for you to be doing this. Good to hear you have support in place too. Hang in there and keep telling yourself it is going to get better or easier. Very proud of your courage and strength. HUGS

 

[PTSDT]

Some of the things I have discovered about exposure therapy:

It won't kill me, but it feels like it. It is extremely intense. But feelings can not kill me. Working through them might make me want to live more in the coming months.

It is very confusing because I am actually being extremely courageous to keep going and keep doing my homework and keep crying and screaming and spitting out anger. But I feel weak, like a failure (especially the day after a session for some reason) and I have a very difficult time giving myself credit for the courage it takes to walk through the fire of it.

I need a ton of feedback. I am very lucky that I have a therapist I can call once in between session if needed. She reminds me I am working hard. I have in my head that a venture out into the world is normal and I should be able to do it. She reminds me that I also have terror of everything in my head and venturing out for me is a super accomplishment.

I need a good friend I can call. He unplugs his phone when he goes to bed so I can call his voice mail and cry or state what I'm going through. I feel heard. Feeling heard is so important while doing exposure therapy. And there is a tremendous need to be heard 24/7. He is there for me quite a bit. But I am up until all hours so when I asked if I could call his machine and he agreed, that was a way to feel heard without keeping him on the phone all the time.

Exposure therapy can not kill me. Even if I didn't get much better, it can't kill me. So I am going to keep going. What if I get better? It can't kill me.

 

[kers]

Ga5bby, how is the therapy going?

 

[Ga5bby]

It's intense. Lacking a bit on my homework this week. Well 2 weeks because of the holiday. Right now I suppose I'm in the worst of it. All during College finals. Great.