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Better off Broken - Citizen Soldier

@arfie thank you for the insights. To put into perspective how difficult it is to find providers in the metro area where I am, after a full year with employer-sponsored health insurance, I bit the bullet and contracted with a concierge MD for my primary care. A PCP covered by my insurance was...

I love where I live; I had never considered how much the environment means when dealing with mental health issues however, 2 1/2 years ago, I moved to Florida for a job, and the climate and access to water/beaches have made a huge improvement to my daily mental health. Unfortunately, the metro...

Both - yes I am weird that way. read a book or listen to audio book?

Thanks that's a good idea

I recently started with a new med provider, the last one was creepy, only did telehealth and the minute I told him that I didn't want a student in session with him he changed the view field of his camera so I could no longer see the entire room which made me think he didn't have the student...

I live in the US and sat down this weekend to file my taxes for 2023. 🤬😭 TLDR: Someone at work screwed up and now I owe a fortune in taxes for last year.

@Friday I hope you enjoy it. I know I did.

embracing the winter weather (though fortunately, I am living where I don't have to experience it) and making stuffed pepper soup. It is souper easy, I usually have the ingredients on hand and I can freeze the leftovers for lunches during the week. Stuffed pepper soup

Thanks for the support. She finally went home on the 10th as originally planned and I was sooo ready for her to be gone! I know it sounds stupid but she literally did nothing while she was here other than occasionally load the dishwasher. I added her to my Uber account for days I was at work...

I haven't been here in a while, I have been fortunate to be doing well in my day-to-day life but the past month has been challenging. Oct. 30th was my last session with the therapist that I had been working with for 5 years. I didn't want to stop seeing them, however, in the last year, I moved...

Met with my T after my last post, he had never heard of the community, not a big surprise is doesn't seem to be something that is publicized much. He thought it was actually a good thing that I was joking about it being a sick sort of exposure therapy and that I am willing to accept the short...

So the good news is that a temp job that I had applied for where I am has just come through so if for some reason this contract doesn't get approved I am not left without a job, but I will have a position that actually pays $4.50 an hour more than I have been making and I can wait and see what...

Is it possible, maybe, on the positive side since it is a temporary position and my permanent address won't change my T has agreed to continue with me even though it is in another state so I won't be left adrift without support trying to find a new T. Good point, there are sex offenders in...

I don't know where to post this because it could have gone under a lot of different forums so mods move if necessary In January I was displaced (fancy way for saying terminated) from my job and have been underemployed since. I have been actively seeking a job in my field and have hoped to...

@Justmehere I am sorry that you had that experience but as so many here have said this is why so many won't seek help when we need it because the healthcare systems are broken for mental health services. Take care of yourself and give yourself time to rest and self-care.

@wisteria, my experience with new therapists has been more like @Defaultxlove than yours and it was very very hard for me. But, they all knew that I wanted and needed a consistent schedule, not just due to my anxiety but due to my work schedule and commitments to my kids as a single parent...

I get this, it is something that I struggle with a lot. I was taught that "blood is thicker than water, there for family relationships supersede all problems and everything should be forgiven" The problem is when my ptsd went into overdrive, my life started falling apart and I realized that...

He has respected this boundary in the past, but it hasn't been tested in a situation where we have been out of contact for a duration of time. To me, support looks like acknowledgement of my existence. Support looks like checking in on me when you know things are going rough in my life, you...

@OliveJewel, @Defaultxlove, @Friday, @Freddyt and @mylunareclipse thank you all for the support and encouragement. I have drafted the email but I have decided to wait until at least tomorrow afternoon/evening when I get home from work to send it out. I know that he gets to decide when to read...

@OliveJewel you are right they are trained at holding their boundaries, I think it goes back to not feeling worthy of being allowed that level of support from him/access to him, though he apparently believed I needed the support. Now the question is when. Do I time it so that he gets is at the...

I was able to text my previous T but not this one and I am actually glad we have that boundary. I think I abused it at times. Normally this is not the case for me either but with my career completely derailed right now I have isolated myself from my support individuals that are in that field...

My T is returning from paternity leave next week and though he told me I could reach out to him while he was gone I have respected his leave. The thing is I have not done well while he has been on leave. I have lost a significant amount of weight (relapsed my eating disorder), barely gotten...

Thank you both of you. I ended up stranded in Florida for a couple of extra days. Doing my best to not spend money until I get back and apparently the decision has been pushed to next week, so I am still waiting. I have been trying to be patient, trying to see if there are any other open...

I haven't every posted in this thread before but could really use all there prayers, good thoughts and help right now. I lost my job a few weeks ago, and had a really important interview this morning. I really feel as though I have been led to this position, I had applied to it back in...