Sufferer 10 Years Of Social Isolation

[outoftheshadows]

Hi, just introducing myself. I've been suffering and battling on for many years without help. I'm 60 and female. My professional life has been highly successful, working in advertising, marketing management and product design. These days I'm lucky to be able to live at the beach and paint large expressionist paintings as a great big income producing hobby.

But I've suffered from PTSD for decades. My old way of protecting myself has been by isolating. This year after 10 years of social isolation I have been taking steps to change. I have joined a pilates class, and have started playing social cards and joined a pub quiz team. And yesterday I went on an early dinner date. Unharmed and home by 8.30 you would think this was successful. Unfortunately the fallout through the night was horrendous with flashbacks, nightmares and severe anxiety.

I don't want to live like this any more ! So, I googled and found this forum and I hope to become more informed, enlightened and helped through opening up about my own issues and learning about other people's experience with this disorder.

Thank you and I look forward to sharing and learning.

 

[Twizzted]

Hi there welcome, I am new here too!

Wow hun, I know the fallout sounds very bad but I sure hope you are proud of yourself! I know first hand what's its like to take these steps and how hard they are, many simply don't do it because it is so hard and you did. You were brave, and you are putting yourself out there.

I have been very proactive with my PTSD over the years, so I may have one small suggestion and that is not to do to much too quickly, seems to me maybe for now sticking with a few things until they become your comfort zone might help. Then add on one or two things more at a time. It is how I have handled my integration into my social life over the years and yes at times I have had to pull back and look at where I had come thus far and say hey this is pretty neat and add more later on as my comfort level and courage grew from my other achievements.

I made a list many years ago of things I really wanted to do but was being held back by because of my fears and my PTSD and I have slowly been check marking off my achievements. I look back at my list and I think to myself its really great how far I have come. Maybe this is a process that might work for you. No matter what I think your doing wonderful make sure to give yourself a break from time to time this isn't an easy process but your doing it and trying that counts for so much.

 

[safenow]

Hello Outoftheshadows,

Welcome to the PTSD Forum. There are a lot of great, supportive, caring people here. You should be proud of yourself for taking that first difficult step by telling us about yourself.

I recommend you go to the home page and read on the wiki section about the PTSD Cup. since you are stepping out there again, it can help you to not overload.

I also recommend the spoon theory. Link Removed

Nice to meet you. Hope to see you around the forum.

 

[outoftheshadows]

Thanks very much Safenow..... so much to read on this site ! I just read the Spoon info, thanks.

 

[outoftheshadows]

Hi Twizzted, thanks for your reply. Yes I agree, slowly is best. After 60 years of build up and of a situation compounding and becoming more and more complex -- it's not going to be easy. Actually for years I've blamed myself and felt incredible shame and humiliation over the events in my personal life, when none of it was from my actions. However, I do own that once the pattern was set up in childhood, then I was attracted to people who were operating from the same pattern, me mistaking them as love partners !! Incredible how an intelligent rational person can be so unaware of what's going on inside and having these mal-functions and viruses controlling everything ! Enough of this !!, I say.

I'd like to know how to stop the nightmares and the flashbacks which are so excrutiating, they are almost unbearable. I don't take any kind of medication and never intend to. But I drink alcohol sometimes to take the edge off things. But now I want them to go away.... leave ! Any ideas about how to deal with them?

Anyone? :) Very glad to find some fellow sufferers .. thanks for the forum !

 

[safenow]

Any ideas about how to deal with them?

Here is some information regarding anxiety: [DLMURL]https://www.ptsdforum.org/c/threads/how-it-all-began.30110/page-25#post-518610[/DLMURL]

And here a good one to use for flashbacks: [DLMURL]https://www.ptsdforum.org/c/threads/how-it-all-began.30110/page-10#post-499347[/DLMURL]

Good for both of you. I know others will be along and give you some more good things to try.
I really recommend finding a good trauma therapist to help you with your specific issues.

 

[p-no]

Hi and welcome to the forum. :)

 

[WillyKat]

Hi and welcome!

If you don't mind me asking, are you working with a therapist? Many of us here are and find it helps a bunch in some of the giant transitions we're trying to make.

 

[outoftheshadows]

If you don't mind me asking, are you working with a therapist?

Hi WillyKat
Thanks for the thought, it's action day today, so apart from joining this forum I've sent off an email to a local therapist for an appointment.

 

[intothelight]

Hi Outoftheshadows,

Welcome to the PTSD Forum! :)

Wow, you have taken some great steps toward reclaiming your life. I hope you find the information and support on this forum helpful as you keep moving forward.

Take care.

Debbie

 

[WillyKat]

Awesome! Big day for you. Thanks for joining the forum.

 

[SweetPeaandSunBird]

Wow, you have taken some great steps toward reclaiming your life.

I agree. Welcome. Glad you found the forum.