General 12/21/12 Anxiety

[CrazyHorse]

How I have understood the Mayan calendar, is that it is about a shift of energy. What is coming to an end, is not the earth itself, but the old energy of the earth. There will seemingly be a shift towards more light, more love and more enlightenment.

 

[Nicolette]

uptick in vigilance and paranoia related to the Mayan calendar thing

When I read the thread title it didn't make sense how something which has not occurred could actually 'trigger' someone. I would expect increased anxiety, hypervigilance and even paranoia but a trigger is re-experiencing of trauma which would not be possible as the world has never ended before.

I am sorry but I felt the need to clarify what a trigger was as some terms are often misused and give the wrong perception.

You might find this helpful http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Psychological_trauma

After a traumatic experience, a person may re-experience the trauma mentally and physically, hence avoiding trauma reminders, also called triggers, as this can be uncomfortable and even painful.

Something which has never occurred can not be a 'reminder'.

 

[Hashi]

...this upswing in paranoia coupled with a burst of "I need to be alone" time has caused him to ask that I fly home with the baby and he drives the entire trip (!!) alone himself. Obviously, I'm not a fan. I'm also not sure exactly how much I should push back against this idea.

Sounds like "I need to be alone" is more at play here than responses to anything Mayan. Sorry if I'm being cynical, but I can't see how him driving and you flying reduces the risk of being involved in mass casualty accidents. Unless he thinks it will protect you and the baby, while he takes the risk to get the car home? In which case, I'd struggle to understand the decision to take the risk of driving the car, if the worry is that great.

I also agree with Nicolette, I'm not sure this could be called a trigger. If he's anxious about public disorder, then I think it's more helpful to deal with it as anxiety. And if it's because he wants to withdraw, then it's more helpful to look at it in that context. I don't know how the two of you usually approach those issues, and where you personally set your boundaries and decide whether to push back, but I have to suggest that you'll get further if you base your discussions and decisions on the core of the issue.

 

[Jezebel]

Ah, my apologies on the terminology; I'm still learning this as I go along. It's the uptick in anxiety/paranoia that is worrying me.

Hashi, I agree with your assessment, but I don't think bringing it up will help. I find that his bursts of paranoia don't respond to reasoned argument and my being reasonable and measured in my response only agitates him more.

Ultimately I have decided to fly, with the promise that he will be home for Christmas. I am dissapointed I'm missing a road trip but I think the pressure in his head is too much right now.

 

[Jezebel]

Also, doesn't look like I can edit that post to clarify, so apologies for sticking everyone with the wrong title. :banghead:

 

[Nicolette]

I can edit the title for you - you just have to report that first post and ask for the title to be changed and specify to what. :)

 

[Hashi]

Sounds tough, and like a longer-term issue about how you both approach things and negotiate decisions and boundaries. It's very difficult, I know. I hope being on the forum can help you.

Wishing you a peaceful and happy Christmas after you both get home.