13 reasons why - discussion thread

[Eliza]

I'm not sure if this is in the right place, so feel free to move it if not!

I was wondering if anybody had watched 13 Reasons Why and whether it's a trigger, or a good catalyst in starting discussions around difficult topics?

*Season 2 spoiler alert!*

I thought the portrayal of PTSD after a rape was really good (if a little too graphic), and the other girl standing by Bryce even after knowing she had been raped was really interesting. I think it did well to show how denial is as common/dangerous as anger/sadness, and Hannah's story showing that it can and often does lead to suicide. And importantly, showing how often wealthy white guys get away with it.

What are your thoughts?

 

[EveHarrington]

I read a few blurbs about it and knew it wasn't the show for me. I know others on the forum have talked about it and I just wondered why they watched it if it was so triggering? I mean I watch SVU and I'm a CSA survivor, but the show is not triggering to me so much as empowering.

 

[Chris-duck]

I watched 13 reasons why. I'm unsure how I feel about their depiction of everything. I found it triggering, and I can watch SVU, but I was unprepared I guess for the graphic scenes in it. They were unnecessarily for shock value imo, especially the last episode in season two.

 

[Chitoshi]

I read 13 Reasons Why the book a long time ago before I had PTSD, and I remember liking it. 13 Reasons Why as a Netflix show was triggering for me. I watched it because I work with high schoolers and I wanted to know what they were watching because it is popular at my high school so I could be better informed and equipped to help my students deal with some of the things they were seeing, knowing that the burden also falls on parents. As a mental health professional, though, I felt obligated to make sure I could stay composed while talking to students if the need ever came up. I had a lot of self-care and breaks watching the first season, and I will watch the second season with that in mind since I will be in a middle school next year.

I haven't seen season 2 yet.

I skip over the parts that I know I won't be able to tolerate (such as @Chris-duck 's description of the unnecessary shock value of some scenes, which I agree with), and will probably take over a month at least to watch the rest along with talking with my therapist and practicing self-care.

I never considered it as a catalyst for discussions around difficult topics. I will have to think on that.

 

[Eliza]

I definitely agree with you both - some of the scenes were clearly there for shock value, and were slightly unnecessary, but I also think it was good that they showed the ugliness. Like Jessica saying she was the "wrong type" of victim. And the awful scene at the end of season 2 showed that rape isn't about sex, it's about power and that it can happen to men too.

I'm not sure how good it is for opening up discussion, but it's something that most teenagers have seen, so the ones that aren't struggling can understand what other people go through. I think season 2 does much better at saying that it's ok to come forward, and ok to talk. Whereas season 1 was full of teenage angst, implying that grownups can't possibly understand what teenagers go through.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I'm watching it now. Just started it. Did you like it? Does it hit home? Is it hard to watch? Is it stupid? Is it a good way to talk about suicide? Thoughts?

It's on Netflix for anyone intrested. It's 13 Reasons why a girl comitted suicide on cassette tapes.

 

[FragileGlass]

I had a few issues with the show. I agree that it was important. It was a good way to introduce the topic of what can drive a person to make such a decision. It was a great production.

However, the biggest issue I had with it, was the underlying motive behind the cassettes. Which blamed many people for her decision. The take away message from that..... ‘if someone in your life commits suicide, what role did you play in their decision to do so?’

I’m not a fan of that message. I deal with mental health issues on both sides of the fence. As sufferer of PTSD. And as someone strongly involved in suicide intervention. I watch families hit their emotional capacity to get loved ones help. I don’t think it’s fair to approach an issue with such a difficult message, ‘ could you have done more?’

 

[Abstract]

Yes I watched it. Didn't agree with everything about it but I'm not sorry that I watched it. Shall warn you that there are triggering scenes especially towards the end. I have personal distaste for blaming suicide notes of all types but will add though that it seems they wanted to get people to consider the effects of bullying etc. . And more of course. Its a series about suicide, bullying and more.

On the self blame side of things I think it does highlight this tendency of loved ones to blame themselves in at least one of the people targeted. We as the viewers sympathise with that person and see that it is unjustified. My interpretation.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I don’t think it’s fair to approach an issue with such a difficult message, ‘ could you have done more?’

I agree with that. It's no one's fault for suicide. The blame must lay with the one that deciced to commit suicide. That's hard to swallow too as someone that has tried to comitt suicide 29 times. But I wouldn't want anyone to take blame for my decision. I would stand up and say this is on me, not you. You know? People in my life can do more. 100%! But I am responsible 100% for my own decisions.

 

[lostforgottensoul]

I have personal distaste for blaming suicide notes of all types

I do as well. I've never written a suicide note. The only last words i'd have is "I love you and this isn't your fault". But that is all I have ever come up with for a suicide note. I would never blame another for my own personal decision to kill myself.

Shall warn you that there are triggering scenes especially towards the end.

Thanks. Will look out for that.

 

[FragileGlass]

Often times, in my professional experience. The suicidal patient had varying depressive, mental health, physical health, substance abuse issues. While there were concerns for self harm. Suicide wasn’t the topic of discussions, ideations, thoughts, desire, yes . Conversation was based on the here and now and what prompted that particular crisis. The sad truth, the reason why suicides are terribly brutal on the surviving family and friends. Is that it was a decision that was blindsiding.

The show put too much back on the surviving family and friends to search their role in the suicide. Focused too much on blame. While yes, we always need to pay attention to how we treat others in order not to become a foundation for mental health crisis.

I am very happy that you’re still here with us to tell your story and thoughts @lostforgottensoul :)

 

[lostforgottensoul]

Ah, sorry. I searched for "13 reseasons why" and nothing came up. Broken search?