16 B@~>!&` Sessions?

[Sandstone]

T: "We are in week 8 now. I didn't count last week as I invited your husband in to talk about safety"
me: "I was counting at the beginning, but I stopped" (thinks - another thing I messed up on)

T: "I know you're frustrated because we are still in phase 1"
me "mmm" (thinks - no, would like to stay here a long time - happy not to take the risk of moving on)

T: "I need to know how you think we are doing. What about those issues of trust and relating we talked about?"
me: long, long pause " The longer I say nothing the worse you'll expect it to be. It's not something I consider. You haven't given me any reason to distrust you. I think I'm being honest, so it must be OK, or I wouldn't be telling you things. (thinks - 16 weeks. I had to jump straight in, or I'd get nowhere)

T:" I'm seeing you out of area, so there will have to be a review at the end of 16 weeks. I can see you're working hard in between sesions and have been able to attend them all"
me: "I know it's all about budgets" (thinks so she's telling me the case she's going to make. I CAN"T start again with another new person. It's too hard)
me: What will happen if they decide you can't see me any longer?
T: "I'll keep you informed"

I want to run away and hide.

 

[braggle]

Hi Stenni are you with the NHS?

I don't really have any useful suggestions but you have my sympathy I know what its like to be sent off after a couple of sessions. Is there any way you could see someone privately or perhaps see if there are any local charities that could offer therapy of a longer term basis?

Whatever the outcome though you will get through it. Try to focus on the time you have now and take everything you can from this therapist. I know that its not as easy as that though.

 

[Sandstone]

I CAN"T start again with another new person. It's too hard

 

[KwanYingirl]

Sometimes on the way to a dream, you get lost and find a better one.

 

[braggle]

I'm sorry Stenni I wish I knew what to say. It sucks, it really does. If your therapist gets a say in whether or not to keep you as a patient then just be honest about how difficult this is for you.

 

[Sandstone]

Sometimes on the way to a dream, you get lost and find a better one.

???

 

[KwanYingirl]

In case you have to start with someone new. My third therapist is the charm and I kicked and fought for a year before I finally made an appt with him. He's fantastic.

And I truly thought the two before him were the best, but I was wrong.

 

[Sandstone]

This number 5.

 

[KwanYingirl]

Hmmmm.....I can see how you must be pulling your hair out. These providers need to circle their wagons around us so whenever we run off we run into a support not a brick wall.

 

[Kefira]

Don't have any advice, but I just had to start over with a new T, my ninth. Some have been because of time limits or them leaving the practice, some have just been awful fits, and I've also moved several times.

It's really tiring- we've had moments where I'm like "that was very insightful but I'm just so reluctant to really open to yet another professional". I've really begun to think at this point the difficulty of starting over and all the associations to work through may outweigh the help in my case. Because of course I would need therapy for my therapy.

Sending you all the best wishes that you can find a solution.

 

[Sandstone]

How can she be be making plans to get me into residential for 4+ weeks to work intensively if she might not be there? It could take more than 4weeks just to organise that.

I've just had the support worker round for three hours, talking to me, while I watched the chair change shape. I don't get de-realisation.

 

[KwanYingirl]

I get visual distortions too. It's a limbic system dysfunction. A neurologist told me that. Do you have trouble with your peripheral vision? He says that's common with PTSD arising from childhood trauma. Our brains are off. But who needs that reminder? But just in case, you should get your eyes examined. Things go wrong with the optic nerve. Wouldn't want to miss something, you know?