2 Sessions So Far

[EloiseLandau]

If you go in knowing there will ups and downs but you're aware you're as safe as possible, it helps.

We go into therapy because of trauma, so it's trauma we have to deal with. You may as well make the most of your T and wring him dry :D

 

[EloiseLandau]

"Regrets collect like old friends
Here to relive your darkest moments
I can see no way, I can see no way
And all of the ghouls come out to play

And every demon wants his pound of flesh
But I like to keep some things to myself
I like to keep my issues drawn
It's always darkest before the dawn

And I've been a fool and I've been blind
I can never leave the past behind
I can see no way, I can see no way
I'm always dragging that horse around

All of these questions, such a mournful sound
Tonight I'm gonna bury that horse in the ground
So I like to keep my issues drawn
But it's always darkest before the dawn

...Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa
Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh whoa
And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back
So shake him off, oh whoa"

-Florence and the Machine

 

[ericaboo]

Thanks for sharing this experience. I am also new to therapy - about 10 sessions in at this point - and it's been a similar experience, except my emotions manifest physically - I can't seem to find tears, just physical sickness. I guess these things take time.

I do feel there is this poison that has built up from keeping it all in, and making up lies to help other peoples' comfort zones. I guess it's only natural that this would be a detoxifying experience that makes you feel sicker before you feel better.

I'm hoping that for all of us here - hoping for healing, cleansing, clarity and letting go of the patterns that perpetuate the pain.

Peace.

 

[EloiseLandau]

Thank you Evergreen and Ericaboo. And best of results for your therapy, I hope.

I've come to the conclusion that sometimes the best thing we can do for our personal values is put a question mark after them.
And I mean all of them.
Even if it seems silly.
And don't judge yourself for having your values, but honestly question them.

 

[thematrix]

Congrats on the therapy work, my experience so far has been brace yourself for every emotion you didnt know you had,at the strangest times,or sometimes a lack thereof like being numb, I've never cried so much in my entire iife, and usually the rest of the day I feel physically sick, exhausted and wiped.The annoying cliche-The only way out is through? Hoping someday everyone is on the other side as much as possible..

 

[EloiseLandau]

sounds about right, thematrix
:)

 

[EloiseLandau]

It's not therapy or the therapy guy, it's feeling like I don't matter where I live. That the people I care about judge me on the standard of what they perceive as "normal" and so condemn me for being immature when I break into tears. I know I can't rely on them, but I do wish they'd stop making a half-effort to say I can.