General 2 Years And Counting

[amethist]

I have just realised I have been on the forum for a few days over 2 years. How far my husband and I have come in that time. So I thought I would share my thoughts of how I feel tonight.

It will be 4 years this August, since he had his accident, and I was one of those 2 years ago who found this forum through desperation and not knowing which way to turn.

In that time I have learnt so much than I would have ever expected, and experienced things in life I never knew possible. These have been both good and bad.

The bad include obviously PTSD. The loss of the life we had together, the man I married. The ignorance and down right rudeness of some professionals. The loss of friends and family, who will not or cannot understand what this is all about. The sleepless nights, not knowing what the next day will bring. The days full of worry, wondering what I would find when I got home. Not knowing if my husband would be there when I did get home. The days of alcohol abuse before we knew it was PTSD that was causing this.

The good for some reason right now seem to out weigh the bad. I have learnt that patience and understanding can get you through the really tough times, (This did take a while though). The friends I have made all over the world is unbelievable. The people I have met and again made friends with, because of PTSD. Loosing a lot of my confidence, but building it back stronger than it was before. Now seeing that there is life with PTSD, not as expected but still a life. Learning that even though PTSD robbed my husband of the man he was, the man he is becoming now, is just as good and in some ways better. (But I wont tell him that just yet)

in other ways worse too. As in his sense of humour, which was always bad, now it is to the point of being wicked

.

This is just how I feel right now, tomorrow could be totally different. As PTSD is different everyday, for all carers and sufferers.

So for all carers who come here, try and remember there is hope for your future. It is hard work and some days you will feel like giving up and walking away. But if you can stick together and remember that your sufferer will not be who they were before, but can be someone you can grow with again. It is possible to slow and smooth out this stupid roller coaster we are all riding now.

I know there are many who do not stay together, so I am thankful that we have managed so far to hang on and keep going.

To those who do stay together, it will be a continuous learning curve.

To those who unfortunately have to let go of each other, it is not you it is the PTSD that came between you.

Amethist

 

[Tinyflame]

Dear Amethist, you are so very wise and loving and supportive.
I hope you regain in joy all that was taken in sorrow, + + +.

P.S- I love '2 years and counting.."

May it be better for you both than you ever thought possible.
(((((Amethist)))))

 

[Nicolette]

Good on you Amethist and I am happy for you and hubby. There is hope.

In a week from today it will have been 4 years for me dealing with PTSD; and in 4 months it will be 4 years on this forum. Some days are great, some are normal, some are survivable and the occasional ones suck really bad IMHO.

I agree that if anything does come between us it will be the PTSD as we fit really well on all other aspects (including me wearing the pants :p).

It's not so much the forum which has saved me at times of desperation and confusion, rather the now friends I have who I can come here and talk to, those who understand and can just listen to me or help me rationalize dealing with an irrational illness. Some of those friend include ones who have PTSD too so it's not just the Supporters/Carers who have helped me survive some times when I felt like giving up.

Amethist is right; you have to hang on and coming here is hanging on for me as here is where others can appreciate the situation and even give your own advice back to you. I wouldn't save this forum saved our relationship but it damned well has helped me hang on sometimes.

 

[Toria]

That's a lovely post Amethist - full of hope, which is great to read. I'm very happy for you and the "new life" that you and your husband are building together. Long may it continue

It's been five and a half years since my husband collapsed with his breakdown and about three weeks since I found this site - I have a lot of catching up to do, but would like to say thank you for just how welcome you have made me (and countless others no doubt) feel x

 

[becvan]

Good for you Amethist. It's nice to hear another couple that's working their way through it. :)

bec

 

[intothelight]

Amethist,

Thank you so much for sharing this. It is so encouraging.

Deb