2013's Challenges... Share Your Story

[MissMacD]

For 2013:

Accomplishments

• Got off of all of my medication
• Got into trauma therapy
• Saw a sleep specialist

Difficulties

• Finally cut contact with toxic family members
• Began to finally forgive myself and love myself warts and all
• Learned how to care less what other people think
• Stopped working myself to death

 

[Reds]

Reading about what each of you went through this year has made me realize that maybe my year wasn't all that bad. I lost my sister this year, I lost all the money I had in my savings and the bank is still investing. I confronted my abuser but I look at this one as an achievement even though I got depressed after that. I was very suicidal but I thank God for all the angels He sent in time of need. I am no longer a bitter angry child :) it feels good to see color and beauty.

 

[MissMacD]

Big step in a positive and scary direction today. I discontinued my Ativan prescription and will now be trying Melotonin for sleep instead. I have a back up prescription for Immovane if I really can't sleep. This is the least medication I've been on in a really long time.

 

[goingonhope]

Nice thread idea Reds. :)

2013 = difficult year. 2014 may see some improvements and perhaps a significant one or ones.

Most difficult to accept is my mother having passed away and my family and I not having been successful in being there for her in her final days. I wanted to give her more help and my continued support and was unable to do so. I failed her in this way and having done so makes me sad and even feel inwardly confused, still tempting me to believe untruths about myself and to doubt, and/or forget, all those impossible surrounding circumstances which made being there with her impossible. Or was it? :(

(frustration)

As for fully understanding, acceptances and grieving, these parts are in process and I do not believe that there is a getting through, but rather a forgiving and living with.

Another challenge in 2013 was coping after my GP found a mass. And, then dealing with a both frightening and courageous, lengthy wait for its pathology. Most challenging too were those results, as well as, one particular unknown which haunted me. This was whether or not this cancer (and all of what I'd thereafter had read about it's type) had already spread (or was spreading as I awaited my surgery) throughout my lymph system and/or to surrounding organs/areas.

Very good news is that I have since made it through lots, including surgery and well. And, further procedures are unnecessary.

How I made it through was with my husband's support, my kids prayers, my husband's family's prayers and the kind and loving thoughts, support and prayers of forum members. :hug:

Other powerful ways and influence got me through as well, yet it's now too late and I'm far too :sleep:-eee to say.

Thanks for sharing this thread Red. :)

Reddy for :sleep:.

;)

How about others?

 

[The Albatross]

Very good topic for a thread Reds.

This year:

• Improvements in emotional regulation.
• Improvements in exposure time to stressful people, places, and situations.
• Seem to have severed the self harming thoughts connection to anger/disappointment/shame.
• Was able to take a trip out of state for the first time in 9 years or more.
• Was able to have more moments of peace, calm, competency, happy.
• Seem to have enough new experiences to boost my ability to refute old thoughts/feelings. Better on the "rebound".
• Less general anxiety about traveling and leaving home. Agoraphobic tendency is gone finally.

Difficulties that persist are the ones that are centered around my own health issues, relationships, and intimacy. I also seem to be having more episodes this last 4 months of the year than I have in the previous 6-8 months but I'm chalking it up to increased "face time" because I worked full time hours (2 jobs) for almost all of this year.

 

[untiltoday]

-First year since my awesomely funny aunt passed away from cancer.

-Found and waited with a lost child at a park, while the police gave up and called Child Services. (Huge trigger for me)

-Found a "great" teaching job, but had to quit after 2 days, after realizing everyone who "worked" at this childcare center had been acting (faking care) while I was being interviewed/touring. In short: I had to report them for many problems and I fell apart for a few weeks. (Another huge trigger) I was also treated horribly (like I was crazy/stupid), and felt helpless in helping the children.
It took half an hour and lies for the owner to hear me say "I quit", because they "needed someone with an EDU degree". Horrible. Sadly, I am still working to make sure there is an inspection. I still haven't gone back for paperwork to be paid for the 2 days...but I don't want the money. This place was my cryptonite.

-After ten years of avoiding and fearing psychs (had many bad psych experiences), I finally tried a trauma therapist. :happy:

 

[Britt.f7]

I made it through the year without ending up back in the hospital. Still had to adjust my meds, tweaked them, seem to be doing better on them. Decided to try not to see me through distorted glasses. It has been a slow going process, but I really think I am starting to get better. Hard to change views of the last 40 years, to something positive. Working on it. At least I see my issues up front and am not in denial.