Relationship ???

[przmuneca]

I dont get it I really dont know why is it that I've fell in love with this man, who says that no one has ever understood what hes been through and never tried helping him or learned about his ptsd.

I have supported him and have been learning about the PTSD and have done everything in my power to help him become the person he wants to be, yet he tells me that I dont deserve to go through what he puts me through. Shouldnt that be my decision? I dont care how hard it is, I just want to be here for him.

Its so hard to even think about not being with him...I feel like I always get the short end of the stick in relationships and the ONE relationship that I want to fight for is the one that seems like a loosing battle.

 

[Tinyflame]

I'm sorry przmuneca.
If he didn't care about people in general or you in particular it wouldn't matter to him what it put you through.

Maybe he thinks it's hopeless he will ever improve managing it or dealing with it. Maybe he is afraid it will end badly and put you through worse, and you could be with someone else and have much (more) happiness.

To many ptsd sufferers, loving or caring about someone with ptsd isn't worth it.
'We're' stuck with it, you're not.

 

[przmuneca]

Understandable if he feels like that, but shouldnt that be my choice.

I knew what I was getting into when he told me he had PTSD so I feel like I should be the one to decide if I want to deal with it or not. I dont even know what to say to him, I know he loves me but he says he's just tired of being here on earth and living and it sucks because no one should ever have to feel like that.

 

[sisu]

Yes, it is your choice ~ but it is his choice too. He also has to live with your choice. If he is not actively getting help via counseling and/or meds then he may not see much of a future for himself. He loves you and doesn't want that future for you too. When you love someone you want to protect them, especially men. They see themselves as the protectors. I know it probably doesn't make sense to you because you love him and want to be with him, period. But if you can step back and see it from his point of view. Have you ever had a depressive episode in your life? A time when you felt hopeless and didn't see a way out of whatever was bothering you? That is a tiny perspective of how he may feel everyday. He doesn't want that for you. Encourage him to work on his PTSD with counseling, meds or whatever may work best for him. Support him in his treatment. Its a tough road and there is no magic button.

Take care of yourself.
Sisu